Tag:

Cutting

Down in Flames

by zerosum 9/6/2011

written by zerosum

I’ve felt this way before. A raw ache in the pit of my stomach. A crushing need to rip myself open and destroy what’s inside. I want to burn until even the ashes are gone. The pain is so urgent. The need to end it is so great. I try to ignore it. Push it away. Bury it. Pretend it’s all okay. Be the person I’m supposed to be.

Get up, take a shower, get dressed, go to work. Do my job with a smile. Be friendly. Be outgoing.

(But never let anyone get too close. Don’t let them see the pain. Don’t let them see the […]

9/6/2011 2 comments

2012

by niki 9/2/2011

written by niki

I hope 2012 come quickly, because this real world is too goddamn boring. I mean, what’s so interesting with all the “stock prices goes up, stock prices goes down, profits goes up, profits goes down”, and then on the other side you have party-poopers dumbwits kind of crowd.

I also hate like majority of humans as they’re usually dumb and ignorant, and prefer to have fun, party, have sex, seeking profits & money, rather than care about the continuation of civilization & humanity progress, basically, the things that REALLY MATTERS.

So hope HUGE catastrophe come! kill ’em all!
I for one never feel like I belong in […]

9/2/2011 4 comments

The Truth

by niki 8/25/2011

written by niki

…about this world and the REAL “Reality” we’re all living in,
that’s been hidden intentionally by ‘The-Powers-That-Be’ (ie: governments, Top people, CIAs, big corporate execs, even Vatican priests and a lot of religious leaders all around the world!).

http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread523618/pg1

Just read it for yourself
take the “red pill” and travel deeper down the “rabbit hole”.

Conclusion: we are really living in the Matrix. that the ‘higher-up’ governments etc DON’T want us “ordinary people” to know, so they can keep CONTROLLING us!

No wonder the “real-world” sucks…’cuz it’s NOT the REAL Reality!
We’ve all been lied up by the “higher” authority figures, straight from when we’re childhood entering school!

Expand […]

8/25/2011 4 comments

Cutting more

by ShhDontTell 7/6/2011

written by ShhDontTell

Today I’ve cut long and deep. 3 times. I can’t quit..I don’t want to which makes That even worse

7/6/2011 3 comments

Cutting.

by dyingmoon 6/24/2011

written by dyingmoon

So there was someone who saw my scars and cuts and asked me if I was trying to kill myself. It’s not the first time someone has asked me that. Someone who cuts doesn’t always want to kill themselves. A lot of people actually just cut for relief and not to die. If they wanted to die by cutting then they would probably be dead already. It annoys me a lot when people ask me if I was trying to kill myself. And then I have to go and explain everything to them which I don’t wanna do, so I don’t really. And the scars […]

6/24/2011 2 comments

Bleed.

by LiveNoLonger 6/22/2011

written by LiveNoLonger

Now its over. This is the end. Everything that you have done to me has led to this. My wrist now bears a vertical cut along the vein from which there is no coming back from. A bloodied knife lays on the floor. Blood gushes from my wound. My vision gets blurry. I write on the wall with my blood the word, WHY? The only note I leave is to whoever finds my body. I tell them to let Her know what I did and that I will always love her. Time is running out. The moment that I have longed for is near. I […]

6/22/2011 22 comments

My story..

by LiveNoLonger 6/17/2011

written by LiveNoLonger

hey, ive been viewing this website for quite awhile now. reading everyones stories and thinking about what theyve been through. how theyve felt. and what drove them to consider suicide. i wll try to tell you my story and how i got here. its going to be a long one so brace yourself..my classmate gave me her number and i didnt text her till mabye a month later. i was so bored and i started looking through the contacts. curious, i texted her. at first it as akward becuz we didnt know eachother. but after a few deays we became friends. over a longer period […]

6/17/2011 12 comments

“Life is about competition & survival of the fittest”

by niki 5/25/2011

written by niki

Anyone who said that today, after what’s been happening lately in the world, needs to be shot in his/her head.
This is exactly why there’s so many society problems nowadays, and so many stressed, depressed and even suicidal people on the left and right everywhere.
This is also why society nowadays is so in a mess, education fails, but wars thrive on.

Fuck it.

Deep down inside we should know that we’ve been brainwashed a lot and a NEW theory needs to be rewritten if humanity wants to survive for BETTER future.
Deep down inside each and every one of us I’m sure know that human’s […]

5/25/2011 4 comments

No One Knows

by Kizzy 5/2/2011

written by Kizzy

Thin lines on her arm

Hidden by her clothes

Cutting deeper and deeper

Because no one knows

Sheâ€™s just a girl

Not strong enough to stop

A strange addiction

Watching blood drop

She loves the scars

She needs the pain

It frees her sad

It keeps her sane

Itâ€™s never enough

To ruin her flesh

She moves up her arm

She inches towards death

5/2/2011 3 comments

if the ‘biblical’ God does exist, then He must be so lacking in imaginations than humans?

by niki 4/19/2011

written by niki

I kept seeing movies and artworks like The Matrix, Avatar, Trons, Paprika (a 2006 anime, you guys have to really google youtube the trailer to know what I mean!), even from video games such as Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, etc
and then suddenly I ponder and saying to myself wow, all these humans’ creations & imaginations are really really fantastic and mind-blowing, that I wish they would be the real heaven, instead of the biblical heaven!
I mean gosh..it seems to me that the idea of biblical heaven seems to be: gold pavements (ew, boring), playing harp in eternity with God (ew, boring boring), and […]

4/19/2011 10 comments

sometimes I wonder…

by niki 4/18/2011

written by niki

I am not a competitive person, never be.
But even at age of 28 now, my parents and also society seem to teach me that Life is all about “winning, succeeding”, and most especially to “strive for the BEST”, which usually means to try to reach to the TOP, be the number ONE, be the BEST, etc etc.

But I guess I always admired and taken into heart deeply what an ex-pastor said:
“if everybody wants to become number one, then who will become number two, number three, etc??”

I think this is truly the Reality, that he speaks of. and that’s why I admired him for […]

4/18/2011 4 comments

Can existential nihilism be proved incorrect?

by niki 4/18/2011

written by niki

Last night I’ve seen some posts that talks/mention about existential nihilism, and I think I used to have great discussion with my little brother about this..quite interesting.

However, like I’ve said before in some posts here, since “Hope” is always seem to be inherent in each human being (seems to be our given Nature), then it’s only logical for me to try to find the ‘loophole’ with that branch of philosophy (by now I’m sure we all know that all kinds of philosophies & even science can always be found the ‘loophole’ and sometimes for a Good purpose to improve for a better ones, this is […]

4/18/2011 1 comment

Lotus

by niki 3/29/2011

written by niki

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-ufE76lO7Y

3/29/2011 0 comment

by lost_cause 3/25/2011

written by lost_cause

It’s been a feeling I’ve had for a while now. I don’t know what to think of it, why it started, or when it will end, but It’s been going on for quite a while.

I hate my home life. I was adopted and don’t know my birth parents who still talk to my parents about me. I have an 18 year old sister who wants nothing to do with me, a dad who spends most of his time in his office at home or at work, and I have a bipolar mother who is mostly mad at the stupidest things. I do the best I […]

3/25/2011 2 comments

We are all here sitting & staring at the blue scree, while somewhere out there in this world…

by niki 3/22/2011

written by niki

http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/09/most-alien-looking-place-on-earth.html

Maybe we all should just drop everything, and go there,
to really truly experience LIFE again..
to feel and realize and be inspired,
knowing that perhaps, this earthly-life is worth to be lived with our every breath
only if we flee ourselves from our prison-wall, whatever that is..

3/22/2011 1 comment

Just a curious question for everyone here..

by niki 3/20/2011

written by niki

1. Are you now studying (school/uni?), or working? at which field/career? does it suck, or you enjoy?
2. And for those of you who are both not studying and working, how do you ‘finance’ your everyday living?
do you still stay (& provided) with ur parents? or…?

As for me, I shamefully admit,..I belong to the 2nd category, and yes, I still stay with my parents,..despite my age of almost 29 yrs old…. this is really pathetic/sad, especially in the eyes of my ‘practical’ parents AND society!
It doesn’t even matter a shit whether if people often are ‘surprised’ by my intelligences, deep […]

3/20/2011 6 comments

How to Free Yourself from Self-Abuse

by niki 3/19/2011

written by niki

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuVuMslQWGs

Powerful.
Just want to share.
Watch it ’till ending,
and get enlightened
for the power of your choices and Life

…before ending it all.

3/19/2011 1 comment

Lost And Insecure

by LonelyEyesOfLostness 3/2/2011

written by LonelyEyesOfLostness

So lately my life has been nothing but a drag. I have clinical depression bi-polar disorder aniexty issues and panic disorder. Everything will go great for me for a couple months and then shut the next day. I’m starting to feel like friends family and my boyfriend aren’t enough. I need help. I’ve been cutting since the 7th grade and have attempted a few times.

3/2/2011 33 comments

The Emphatic Civilisation (interesting to watch)

by niki 2/26/2011

written by niki

This might proves to be very interesting (and mind-opening) to watch for 10 minutes,
perhaps it’s heavily related with how almost everyone here often feels.

it’s time to re-think our ‘old’ notions about survival and living.

getting more interesting..

2/26/2011 10 comments

I don’t have an addictive personality.

by 3_bringitback 1/17/2011

written by 3_bringitback

never have. but. I’ve cut 12 times in the past two days…before now I’ve only self harmed 5 times before in the past year.

this isn’t good. the amount of marks on my shoulder…no-one would believe they were ‘from my cat’.

Also. I’ve been paranoid about my wrists my entire life, I hate people touching them, or people drawing on them, or anything; but how come I just etched two red lines into my flesh?

I’ve never admitted it before, Ive always said to myself ‘yes you have agoraphobia, yes you have panic disorder, yes you’re probably bipolar, yes you’ve been sexually assaulted. but you’re NOT depressed’.

But I […]

1/17/2011 3 comments

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