Im numb now… no not numb exactly…I have forgiven him all the shit that went down… an addiction is a nasty thing and he is seeking help. has a specialist who deals with the sexual addiction may be going to a inpatient facility for a while… I forgave him (mostly some days it is hard though to remember that) .. now it is just the life with him.. my life ..
Im not sure I want it any more.. not just the life with him but any life.. well obviously im on here it has been like that for a while.
but Im not […]
Tag:
Deceit
Here I stand, in front of the mirror once more. The disgusting creature standing before me is not me, not the me I ever wanted for myself. Unmotivated to even live my life anymore I see the imperfections of the body, the lies behind my eyes. I am not the type one would imagine to have such thoughts, I am the cheerful one, the intelligent one, the kind hearted soul. Even as I smile at myself I see the lie, the deceit behind the sweet gesture. I want so much to be saved by my lover, the man I have given everything to, but only solitude awaits me. I […]
the human species is a species I do not belong to, yet I am part of it
I feel like an alien soul that was dropped off on earth to observe humans,
and that my people have forgotten to come pick me up .. neglectful bastards
on one hand, I’m tired of routine: my days are too similar to not get bored
on the other hand, I find lots of comfort in knowing what to expect .. I’m bored to death but at least I feel safe
(safe from what ?)
I must be missing out on a lot of experiences by being very withdrawn
but since there’s a lot of deceit […]
I wear upon myself a suite
A cloak, disguise to hide the truth
where fragile broken pieces lay
Of which I find myself today
I lay inside a maze of lies
in which I’ve told to keep disguised
the truth that hides behind the man
is not who they all think I am
the maze I’ve built in self defence
has now become a life sentence
its filled with demons kept inside
of all the things that I despise
there is no way to hear my plea
in which I wish to be set free
instead I get, eternity
With the troubles that I hide
My […]
This has no specific age range but is directed more towards those who have not yet been free to make their own decisions.
I want everyone who wants to to live. Especially you my little brothers and sisters. Because you have not yet been able to live your own lives. Have not yet been able to freely choose anything outside the limits placed on you and the strong influences upon your minds and emotions. From your posts many of you have an amazing and solid grasp on life and that would be wasted by you dying and not being able to enrich yourselves with your talents.
Many […]