I just feel defeated by life and at this point I’m seriously considering suicide. I’ve been dealing with suicidal thoughts six years now but I feel so overwhelmed now by my life. Everybody thinks I’m of no importance and I’m threatened and ridiculed and bullied because I’m an effeminate guy and more so my mother seems uncomfortable to be seen in public with me. nothing is left for me but death and rest
I’m so sad and defeated. I don’t know how to fix it anymore. I found this site the day twix was posting. I was sad she had to go, and touched by how kind everyone was here. So I lurked for a little over a week. Here I am now. I hope to get to know everyone better and hope I can help someone here because I don’t feel as if I make a difference anymore in my day to day life. I feel so raw and full of hate and sadness. I mostly hate myself for the way I have become. But, I’m rambling […]
survive my suicide attempt. Only one. Straight forward attempt. I worry if I try again I won’t be successful and I’ll have created even more problems for myself. But I really wish it would have worked back then so that I didn’t still have to struggle. Cause pain. Live a meaningless life filled with unfinished projects, poverty, sadness, shame, isolation, regret. I just wonder what’s the fucking point to any of it. Why did I survive. My life has no grand purpose. I’m just another shmuck trying to get by, trying to stay sane, powerless, defeated and over it. I want to try again but […]
Darkness I ask you to set me free
Free me from this place where I don’t want to be
I can’t stand this suffering anymore
Give me the peace that I yearn for
Days, months and years I fought
Yet I still can’t ease my distraught
After each demon I slay
A new one arises the next day
My armor is weakening and starting to decay
Yet I pick my sword and head into the fray
I have become lost and weary of this fight
For the victory I seek is nowhere in […]
I’m a 23 year old guy. Finished My Uni degree last year. The last year of uni was rough to say the least. Went through a lot of cutting and now my left arm is a ruined mess, scars so big and ugly that there is no hope in hell of ever wearing short sleeves again.
I felt so defeated by the time I completed my degree that I didn’t go to my graduation ceremony and I only picked up my certificate 5 months later. I haven’t gotten any jobs since then, been unemployed for a whole year. My family ridicules and demeans me at every […]
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc
Ive always fought but this time i am tired feel defeated and do not see how i can get past this. Every other time i could find my fight song… this time i just dont feel it in me.
Everyone needs a hero in their life.. and sometimes the world just doesn’t hold enough of them. When times get rough and darkness takes over..there doesn’t seem to be anyone left to take the next step and face the relentless evil that continues to war against the humanity we try so very hard to protect.
That’s when the best of us all must surface..to lay their life on the line for the rest.
If you could shed this mortal coil and become more in this life.. who would you be? What hero would surface to do battle against the darkness?
DeadLeaf is the hero I’ve created to […]
I’ve been in severe neuropathic pain for over a year and a half now and I just can’t take it anymore. I’ve tried killing myself by injecting air into my central line(permanent iv leading to my heart) but I just coughed all 100ccs right back out…then today I was planning on slitting my carotid artery with a large knife while I was cutting a watermelon(I have seizures so I was hoping maybe it would seem like an accident) but I got really woozy and shakey and backed out because I was worried that I’d cut the wrong thing and survive. I’d just go with ordering […]
So my mum’s boyfriend committed suicide last year.
Before he killed himself, I was not talking to him. Not because he did something horrible, he had just told me that I wasn’t helping about my mother’s depression, that he had to do all by himself. I was also already depressed, and I just became so mad that he couldn’t see all what I was doing and all what I was going through, that I just didn’t talk to him for the whole week.
And then, one night I saw him, and the whole thing was like “hello, how are you?”, “she’s waiting for you”. And […]
Fight your enemy.
First destroy his heart,all he loves, and all who love him back.
Next destroy his mind and philosophies.
Finally, cripple him with a single shot.
Now I lay in a state of nothing.
I am dead yet alive for I have defeated my ene-me.
What options for death really are there for profound disabled like myself? I can’t get a gun, can’t get in a car and go somewhere, and hanging never fails to fail. The only thing I was suggested by “professionals” was, if you want to die, you can, you just have to stop eating and drinking completely. Number one, what an inhumane way to go! I cannot imagine depriving myself of water until I am dead. That is barbaric. Number two, most of us disabled are in the care of family members who would force feed us. So this is clearly not an option. Also most […]
Yup, knocked out another one. Apparently my accent plus cider is indecipherable to some so I’ve posted the poem beneath the audio.
Bonus points go to anyone who can find the 3 Doctor Who hommages.
There Once Lived a Man
There once lived a man,
He was strong, he had grace, he was battle-worn,
He should have done something of monumental significance,
Something to be remembered.
Prevented, though, not out of spite or maleficence, but by love.
The could’ve-been-king with his army of meanwhiles and never-weres,
Would’ve been so much but his will was never his own, it was hers.
She stole from him his drive, his motivation, […]
I am divorced. I am a mother of six. My fiance committed suicide in July. I have had numerous surgeries this year that have left me unable to work yet. I am in yet another one of my major depressive episodes that has exhausted me. I have tried having my medications readjusted and mixed around to no avail. I am just so sick of having to battle depression! I have been in an uphill battle with this terrible illness for over 25 years! I have had enough. I am tired. I cannot endure more of […]
Just a shitty day… or a couple.
A day like today where I wake up feeling okay, and then I start thinking about all the things I’ve ever done wrong. And then I start thinking about how I’m a shitty person. And then, on top of that, I feel like I have zero things to offer. I try so fucking hard to be good at things, at art, at programming… I’m in college, getting decent grades and busting my ass… But I hate everything I’ve ever done. I’ve never accomplished anything and I feel worthless. I’m a huge sagging disappointment to myself. I feel ugly; I […]