When I was 4, my parents split up. My mother never fought for me. She just ran to another state. My brother and I ended up living my life with my father. My father got with another woman who was mentally ill. They had 2 more children together. That woman thought there were maggots and worms under our skin while our father was out working. That woman started to cut some of my skin off and only saw blood. My father got home eventually and found a puddle of blood on the floor. He argued with her for the longest time. After that, she locked […]
Tag:
#depression #depressed #bipolar #helpme
I WAS (less than 32hours long) getting to a spot in my mind that the “bill was going to be paid”….not dying…but that my grieving was actually a good thing. I was dancing with my toddler, jamming some tunes & *toons*, some other songs by different artists. & when it was naptime (about 2 nap (for lil one &1 nite…well a MOST the night sleep) i would let the sad out. I went thru some pictures of my oldest…. sadly I don’t have many. but I was building the mindset that *my grieving*….makes me a gud mother.
Cuz WUT kind of mother wouldn’t?
I was setting aside […]
This is the first time I’m ever going to tell someone my life story. I just need someone to
know. It might be a little long.
When she was pregnant with me, my mother did all kinds of drugs with my father. I was also
the only child she planned.
When I was three, my father raped a girl. Shortly after, my mom did something stupid and got sent to jail.
My siblings and I all got seperated. I moved in with my grandparents from my moms side.
They were my first memories. The only ones I actually enjoy. That is until my grandmother had a stroke. So […]
I Need Help, Advice? Someone to Talk to? (Teen Pregnancy, Suicidal Thoughts and Bad Childhood)
written by SmilingfacesxSadfeelings
So I’m going to start off by saying hello and I will be cursing in this. I’m 19, I’m not going to say my name but you can call me LC. I have a three year old son. Yes, if you do the math right, I was 16 when I had him. He’s truly a blessing in my life and happens to have autism. If anyone here knows someone that has a child or does have a child or sibling with autism then you can understand how hard it is. I’m writing because I know I need help. I really want it, too. But I’ll […]
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
God is boring . boring God . why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ? why God is boring ?
by niki
written by niki
God is boring . boring God .
why human’s imagination & fantasy is better than God boring reality ?
why God is boring ?
I hate this world . I hate this life . I hate life .
This world is so boring , boring world !
This life is so boring , boring life ! life is boring .
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, […]
This world is boring , boring world . why movies, games, anime/manga, fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
by niki
written by niki
I hate this world .
This world is so boring , boring world !
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, […]
Life is boring , boring life. why movies, games, anime/manga, & fantasy/imagination is better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
by niki
written by niki
life is boring , boring life. why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Marvel / Marvels, Avengers, X-Men, Divergent / Insurgent , Star Wars, The […]
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
by niki
written by niki
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
The more I grow up & learn after all these 32 years of my life, sadly, the more I feel hopeless especially for humanity / our humans species!
MAJORITY of people / humans beings / humanity are so damn shallow, superficial, vain, ignorant, stupid, fake, dirty, liars, etc etc.
I used to have so much HOPE for humanity , but now the hope is dwindling until it’s almost none !!
MOST people are sadly only concerned with vain, shallow, mundane “daily-life” & little […]
Life is not fair / unfair. there is always winners & losers. I’m a loser, so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
by niki
written by niki
Life is not fair.
Life is unfair.
there is always winners & losers.
there will always be winner & loser.
so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
rather than they keep living chasing & fixing all their way too many losses, which is probably too late anyway too.
and usually losers can’t win / can never win against winners anyway .. even the “start” is already too late!!
This is the harsh truth / fact / reality .
Reality / Real life / Real world is very LIMITING / LIMITED in what we can & can’t do !
We are limited by money […]
Imagination better than reality? Why Imagination is better than reality? Why is Imagination better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Imagination is better than reality?
Why is Imagination better than reality?
Why is fantasy better than reality? Why fantasy is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Interstellar, etc etc, they are much more interesting, full of POSSIBILITIES & varieties / variations, and better than reality / BORING reality […]
Every time this happens. Every single god damned time. My doctor has me on several meds. The antipsychotics were working well. It’s been almost a year since my last suicide attempt…
But I can feel it…
Feel the demons coming to grab me and drag me down to their Hell again. Not literally of course but you see my point.
I have a job. I have an apartment. I have pets. I have a boyfriend who loves me and a mother who cares. There is no reason for this disconnection that plagues my life. I can’t feel anything. Nothing good anyways. Happiness seems like a distant illusion. My […]