i hate myself so goddamn much and i just want to take all the pills in my fucking cabinet. everybodys going to end up hating me and leaving me like they always do. there’s no point in me even living anymore and no point of me trying so hard not to relapse with the cutting and stuff… it hurts so bad to fell this way and to sit here and cry and hurt while everybody else is so happy. i hate that anybody has to feel the way that i feel but i deserve it…. i need to die…. i want someone to kill me… […]
So right now im sitting in the living room of my home, watching my fiancée pack her things to leave. And it’s killing me. I can’t stand it. I haven’t much to say, just to say I’m sorry. I failed you, in so many ways and therefore I deserve this. Which is why I have decided to end my life tonight. You’ll leave, and be happy. And I’ll be happy too. You told me that you want me to think of my happiness first now. Well that’s what I’m going to do. Tonight after you close the door for the last time, I will wrap […]
I’m so depressed. Shedding some blood on Halloween seems appropriate. I hope at least some of you are. having a good time. You deserve to be happy. Even if only for a moment. Mothers, tell your children not to do as I have done….
StruggleOn here! Part fennec fox and part dead again. And I have nowhere to trust but here so…
Shit has been going on. Its all just bullshit though. You know when you try so hard for somebody but nothing makes them better? That’s kind of how this is. I don’t even care if it helps I just need it to be accepted. Again and again I am beat down. Hopelesness once again engulfed me. Now I’m stuck. I feel helpless and confused and wonder if I’ll ever deserve somebodies love…
Fuck. That practically sums up my past 7 years. I’m 16 years old and a junior in high school and I have given up. I’ve always wanted to go out, explore the world. But, there are certain things stopping me. I’m a pathological liar, and I have ruined every opportunity to make peace with my parents. I’m failing (all) my classes, I don’t have any type of extraordinary features, and I don’t believe I am worth saving. I have constantly wanted to commit suicide, but I never had the balls to do it. The couple times I did, I failed horribly. I don’t know if […]
Ever feel like everything would be okay if you could just climb out of your skin and be the person you were meant to be? I think that I would have been an okay person. Not a Nobel Prize winner, but okay. I’m tired of pretending that I’m okay, tired of wondering what people would think if they knew what was really in my head. My husband deserves a better wife, and my son deserves a better mother, they deserve that person i could have been.
I’ve tried explaining the intrusive thoughts from OCD to someone, they made some awkward joke about OCD and […]
You know that feeling that you get every time you get so scared that your heart feels like it’s going to drop to your stomach? Like there is someone ripping your heart out, artery by artery? That’s the feeling I get every time I lay my eyes on him. He ruined me. He ruined my family. The love, the trust, everything. It all vanished because of that selfish old man. Why me? Why us? What did WE do to deserve to go through these horrible couple of years? We were nothing but kind to him. We helped him in any way possible. He seemed kind to us […]
Where should I start :/ I haven’t always been depressed and want kill myself. It all started once my family started have problems and lots of stress one parents shoulders. This stress was transferred to me and I took it in for awhile not knowing what would the outcome be. Then I found out my uncle has cancer and is very sick. This caused me to go into a depression stage while not knowing it yet. My parents yelled At me making me think this is ally fault so this led to smoking Weed, then I started having relationship problems with my girlfriend!! This where […]
Who?
Who am I? Who are my parents? Who will help me?
What?
What is going on? What will all this accomplish? What do I get from this all? What am I still doing here? What did I do to deserve this?
Where?
Where well I go now? Where will I matter to someone? Where will I die?
When?
When will this be over? When can I just be happy? When will you accept that I don’t belong here?
Why?
Why does this happen to me? Why can’t anyone help me? Why don’t they understand? Why can’t I be happy? Why did you leave? Why […]
SMILE!
Smile because god gave you teeth and a mouth to do it. I dont care if my picture burns your eyeballs out, just smile! Please?
Ill add a nice quote for you to think about.
“We accept the love qe think we deserve.”
I’m unable to continue this miserable excuse for an existance. No one will wish I hadn’t and I have no will to live. I’m more than slightly sure that I do not deserve to piece myself through this meager existance. Goodnight everyone… See you in Hell….
I actually came on here tonight for the first time in a week or so to make a post about some stuff that’s happened lately in my life… and now my head is just too overwhelmed by the utterly repulsive tragedy that’s taken place today/tonight involving a really awesome person.
So instead of crapping on about my own troubles, I’m just gonna leave this post here so we can all maybe give a thought to that special person today/tonight, because this is their day now and they deserve to be remembered.
Rest easy.
I was foolish to think that I could have a happy birthday. In what world would I ever deserve one day where nothing went wrong? One day where I could feel happy and celebrate 21 years of surviving depression, anxiety, and just overall shitty life? No. It would be my last huge milestone birthday that would just take the cake. No pun intended… Happy fucking 21st birthday to me! Complete with family drama, friends telling me I’m a piece of shit, and being spat on for trying to help. I am so sorry world. If I am that much of a disappointment and hassel, I’ll […]
I don’t even know where to start, but then again it’s not like anybody will read this right? I’m just that invisible to the world. Invisible to my family, my presence always went by unnoticed. I would say I’m invisible to friends but I don’t have any. They all got relationships and forgot that I existed.
I hate being gay, I wish I wasn’t. I hate being black, I wish I wasn’t. I hate being alive, I wish I wasn’t. Does anybody know exactly how it feels to be an over weight homosexual? Can’t make friends because most are homophobic towards me. Can’t make gay friends […]
There is always someone in this world who cares about you..
Just because you don’t think there is doesn’t mean your correct..
I know that I have no idea who you are or what you look like but I CARE!
If I didn’t care then I wouldn’t be here..
I know what you’re going through I have scars running up and down my arm..
I feel so lonely sometimes and I cry myself to sleep almost every night..
I really do know how you feel I promise..
You’re so beautiful/handsome inside and out
I love you
You don’t deserve to end everything like this you deserve much better!
I may cut but I’ll never end […]
So I finally did it… I finally somehow gathered the courage after almost 10 yrs of torture to make a dr appointment and attempt to somehow see if I’m “fixable”… I’m so afraid. I’m not sure if I have the courage to keep the appointment. My brain keeps spinning telling me thinks like “you’re not worth the help.” “You’re too far gone for anyone to save you” “you don’t deserve to be fixed” .. Then it’s like “maybe you should just say fuck it and try” so I think well maybe I should.. Then I think well maybe if I just answer their questions to […]
BIPOLA:
Life comes to standstill
Life is meaningless.
You don’t existed.
You are too tired to try.
Hope is DEAD
Feeling eludes you.
Some say you are good as dead.
You don’t feel you deserve anything.
You lost the sense of belonging
You feel detached
You don’t care.
There is no joy,
No sadness
No frustration.
You are just floating around……
Stop caring about yourself
Grow tired of the people around you
That includes people trying to help you or understand you.
You just want to sleep and sleep
and never wake up.
Waking up kills your dreams.
Im sad and angry. Very much of both.
I toy with the idea of taking the life of some motherfucking douchbag that doesn’t deserve the life they were born into. But I cannot do it.
It angers me that someone so pure at heart can get the shaft and be born to a broken home and ya ya blah blah blah boo hoo etc, yet some fucking foul piece of shit can have it all; loving family, high metabolism, a perfectly not undersized manhood, opportunity.
God is cruel.
The utility of this platform to convey inner thoughts and true emotion is unmatched. I can express myself even though I’m talentless. Look let me skip the formalities of how I usually write and just get to it. I feel guilty. I was reading the first post on SP (this was approximately 1 month ago) and I realized this is a website where you’re supposed to share experiences of suicide. Anything else is viewed as unnecessary. I’ve only posted here a few times, but most of my pieces do not spare detail. But never have I wrote about my suicide attempts, nor do I plan […]
It’s like being at sea and seeing a hurricane approaching. Same feeling in the pit of your stomach, the awe at the power of the beast called nature.
It sucks when every week becomes another storm to weather. I can’t remember the last time where I wasn’t terrified.
I just want want some relief. How have I sinned to deserve this shit being thrown at me?