I’m relatively new to this site, but thought I’d take my turn to publish a post. The reason I’m on here tonight is because I am really struggling at the moment. I am really having strong urges to end my life. I don’t want to kill myself, yet I don’t want to continue living this life that I have created for myself. Very contradicting sentence, isn’t it? I just feel so alone. And I know isolation plays a big part in it, but even with people I still feel incredibly alone. I hate myself so much. I hate my body and my mind. I wish […]
Tag:
Different Life
I spend a lot of time wishing I was someone else and I’ve wasted a lot of my life doing so. Sometimes I think of myself but a better version of myself, better looking, more talented, an ideal social and home life. Other times I daydream of myself as a completely different person; wether it’s a sociable gay male living in California or pretty blonde city girl living in London, UK. I constantly see people and think ‘I’d give anything to be you’.
I can’t stop and it scares me because it’s not healthy and I’m afraid that I’m always going to hate who I am.
I […]
Every day its the same thing, like a movie over and over.
I got kicked out of my moms house a year ago, and the day since my life hasn’t been the same. I’ve been out for a year now because I called her a ***** because she was being one. That’s it…kicked out for over a year for saying “stop being a ***** for 2 minutes”. I moved in with my grandma (worst fucking decision I could ever make). Day after day of being out in the country away from my friends and family, it hasn’t been the same. I lost all of my friends, and since she’s 5 miles away its a hassel going to […]
I figured: If I dont choose one now, I will never. It felt like a huge relieve, finally deciding when everything will end.
To be honest, I will grab every opportunity with 6 arms if one arises. I dont really want to die. I wish I could just be someone else, and have a different life. It is not fair I have gotten so much on my plate. And its pathetic to wallow in self-pity like that, but I cant give any fucks about that. Fact is, I am pathetic. I dont deserve to live.
Theres about a 50% chance I wont go through with it I […]
Have you ever wanted to get out of your life? out of your skin?
Why do i have to suffer?
I just want a different life, i want to be happy
i want this pain to go away
I can’t even feel anything anymore, nothing makes me laugh or even smile. I am just a broken mirror, useless and worthless.
I feel cold, joyless, hopeless, helpless and broken
There is no one to talk to ,I’m all alone in this painful world
I just want one day of happiness, just one day in a different life
I want someone to guide me, to hold my hand and take […]
“Stan collymore tweeted the other day , depressed people don’t want to die , they they want to live but with a different life”
Not sure if I believe this is true what do you guys think?
Jules x
Well… Here I am at 25. More confused than when I was 14…. Lost for 11 years. Wandering, somewhere out there alone. In a world full of trauma and pain. Not understanding where I am going, or even what I want to do. My father who was my best friend died in an accident. A month before my birthday. Right before Father’s day… My mother met an addict and decided that she wanted a different life. So when she got out of jail, she moved out of state and gave her children up to be wards of the state…
The rest of my family disappeared as […]
Everyone Thinks That I have It All,
But Its So Empty Living Behind These Castle Walls,
If I Should Tumble,
If I Should Fall,
Would Anyone Hearing Me Screaming Behind These Castle Walls,
There’s No One Here At All,
Behind These Castle Walls.
I live a very different life. This is my first time trying something like this, I’m not doing this with the intention that it’ll bring me pity or sympathy from others, Im doing this hoping that it’ll bring me some FORM of peace.
Im not like alot of people out there. I live a very different life. Luxuries people would never even dream of. […]