For the past ten years i have been struggling with depression. i don’t know when the suicidal thoughts began… i felt so alone like no one could understand what i felt the way i felt it. i could not tell anyone how i felt up until two or three years ago. and even then, nothing changed for the better for me. i always wanted everything bad to stop. all the yelling, all the drinking and drugs… everything gone. i hated the way that everyone seemed oblivious to the pain i felt and it seemed like they didn’t care enough about me to even stop and […]
Tag:
Drinking And Drugs
How does one cope with the monotony of life. Dead end jobs. Pointless relationships. Living for the weekend..
Is it really fair to say I want to commit suicide, if I feel like I’ve never really lived at all.
I thought giving up smoking drinking and drugs, while taking on exercise and healthy eating would improve my life but no. The little joy I had left in my life is gone.
I start work in a few hours, haven’t slept in a few days thinking about this. Is tonight the night. I’ve picked up the knife so many times already and pussied out, but this time I can […]
my life goes in a very predictable circle. I go a little while, recovering slowly bit by bit. Something goes wrong. I stop improving. Something else goes wrong. I start getting worse. Something else goes wrong, I give up on life, go back to cutting and drinking and drugs. Straw breaks my back, I try to kill myself. I find someone that says they really care about me, that asks for me to tell them everything so they can help. Things get better for a little while. Then the person snaps and can’t take caring for me anymore. I try to kill myself again. Repeat […]
My counselor told me to write a journal. Then give someone I trust to read it. The thing is, I didn’t say I trust no one. There is someone I do kinda trust. I know he wouldn’t have the time to read it though. He’s a cop, and married with kids. He can’t carry it home. He can’t read it at work. So when then.
I’m worried that he might judge, or be over sympathetic after first being horrified that children actually go through shit, and people still walk around after pain.
I was molested by my brother. He was abused everyday by a schizophrenic mother. I […]
Im done with the pain. I’m sick of feeling like a failure. 35, live in my parents basement, hate my terrible job and boss, have no money and make no money. My depression has gotten in way of my shitty job and I’ll probably be fired when I go in on Tuesday. Everyone wants to tell me my life is going to get better. life has never been happy and good. I just dont see life getting better for a depressed cook who’s 35, single, making shit, and lives in his parents basement.
I expected life to get better when I quit drinking […]