My bestfriend, she left me. It was my fault tho. Just like everything. We were so alike it was ridiculous. She liked what I liked. She had been bullied I had been bullied. We connected on so many levels. Every day she came over after school. Everyday we would sit on my roof and listen to the birds sing. We would watch the moon come up count the start and fall asleep. When it was cold we would bring pillows and blankets up to lay on. Whispers and giggles until snores. The first real friend I’ve ever had. She was the only reason, she made me better. She […]
Tag:
Emily
okay this has nothing to do with suicide i just need to get this out you don’t have to read if ya don’t want to.
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So my bff likes this guy and he’s amazing he’s taller than me (I’m 5’9 in the seventh grade) and he loves all the music I do, he connects with me, and we never get bored of eachother when we talk… it’s clear that i like him too. and I realllllyyy really like him, and I think he likes me (he always stares at me and smiles when I come and talk to him and smiles whenever he sees […]
My friend Tennyson.. Actually, I like him. And he knows that. But he doesn’t like me. I know he doesn’t. He said so. Anyway, on the bus earlier, he pulled out a pocket knife and cut himself. I could literally feel my heart ripping itself apart because there was absolutely nothing I could do. I told him to get on facebook, but I doubt that he will. The worst part is that I heard his friend say, “Well, why do you want to kill yourself?!”. I don’t want him to die. God, he’s been going to therapy.. I don’t know what to do. I love […]
So, I’ve been happy. But things still don’t go how I need them to. Â Trevor will talk to me, of course. He even jokes with me and stuff. But he also still goes out with Kendall. But still. I wish it was me in her place. Gosh. The sad thing is that he doesn’t have a “type”. I can’t figure out what it is that he likes in a girl! He has dated girls that are nothing alike! None of them have anything in common. Anyway, it’s not like it would matter anyway. If he doesn’t like me, good for him. I’m not going to […]
I found the light, but I don’t have a fucking clue what to do with it. XD I really don’t. I’m not joking. I’m happy, but I feel like there’s got to be something more to it than this. My head is spinning from all the ideas of where  to go with my life now that I’ve cleared the road.  I just don’t know. I feel deep in my heart, somehow, I feel like I need, yes, I said need to tell Trevor what I feel about him. Strange, I know, but since I gave my life to God, I get these feelings sometimes, and when I […]
I don’t know what to say. Damn, I woke up and I felt like this automatically. I don’t love myself. I hate myself. I’ve fucked everything up somehow. I can’t do anything right, I’m ugly, and I”m fat. I always thought that guys would like me more because I am the way I am. I play video games all the time. I’m not girly. I like the color pink, and I like makeup, etc., but I love hunting, and I want to be a vet when I’m older. I’m pretty smart, I guess. I take Pre-AP classes, and I’ve kept all A’s all year, every […]
So, I feel better every time I get on here, but I still feel terrible nonetheless. I’ve never been called fat or ugly or stupid in my life until I started hanging out with Emily. She puts me down constantly. I can’t stand it. I’ve told her to leave me alone, but she won’t listen. I do have some friends, but I don’t trust them. Not with everything. I can’t trust anyone anymore. And no, I’m not doing this because so many guys have been mean to me; I’m doing this because so many people in general have given me reason not to trust them. […]
Saw Emily at the mall today …  That’s my exboyfriends sister  Ad it was way too awkward… She gave me a death stare  which really sucks because we used to be pretty close. I had an anxiety attack after saying hi to her.  Just makes me want Travis that much more.
And reminds me about how perfect his new girlfriend is  and how fucking shitty I really am