Over the years I have gone from being optimistic and joyful, to completely dead inside. The few friends I had are now gone, and the failures in my life continue to increase in number as I get older. I constantly feel sharp chest pain from my depression, and I am unable to let out how I feel, unable to cry and unable to strongly feel anything emotionally anymore. My depression gets worse everyday as I have found everything in life to be no fun anymore resulting in myself staying in my bed all day whenever I get the chance. I can’t tell anyone how I […]
Emotionless
To whomever reads this
I see a therapist to deal with my anxiety disorder that is heavily plagued with panic attacks and I am often ‘scared’ into a state of immobility where I cannot think move or breathe for short periods of time.
Anyway, we were discussing characteristics of what a person with anxiety exhibits and whether there are any common links. He had studied all his patients (and aside from other details he wasn’t able to release under confidentiality laws) he was able to tell me 64% of his patients were aquarius.
It is funny that this statistic exists. A profiling overview of an aquarius person states […]
Right now, things seem to be getting better. I’m able to go on without my razor as much, I can enjoy music like I used to, laugh purely because I want to, not feel that pain that can’t be explained somewhere within my heart…
But that will all change when school starts again. When I have to rejoin the real world, and see it for what it is. When it presses itself against my face – when reality comes back to wake me from my dreamworld that I created to protect myself – It will all be as it were. I’ll be cutting again, empty, emotionless […]
I Feel Numb. My aunt Sue is in the hospital, she’s getting a surgery that should hopefully remove her breast cancer. When MaSue told me all I could do was sit there speechless thinking “this can’t be happening to another aunt.†But somehow I’m more at peace with the fact that she has breast cancer than I am at peace with how I’m handling it. Shouldn’t I be crying? Shouldn’t I be worried? Shouldn’t I be freaking out like the rest of us? I feel empty inside; heartless. Maybe it’s because death is more comforting to me than the living, either way I feel horrible for being emotionless and I hate […]
I am emotionally numb. I recognize that my emotions are there deep beneath but I do not connect with them. Almost as if they are not real. As if I’m possibly inventing them, in an attempt to pacify a need in me to be normal and socially accepted. I don’t know if I’m depressed. I don’t know if what I feel is anxiety. I can’t speak in public and don’t leave my house much because I don’t want to socialize due to my negative self-image and inability to really empathize with others adequately. But is that considered anxiety? I don’t know. Sometimes […]
i will never understand someone who can say someone else is judgmental and that person themselves are. My sister judges me a lot. She calls me a jerk, mean, emotionless everything, and i dont understand why. She doesn’t know what i went through everyday at school. Do i think im a jerk and all that? No! And if i am then i don’t mean to be. Everyone has their off days. it just pisses me the freak off when she says that stuff about me. I feel like she doesnt even know anything about me or my life, or the things i go through, and she has the nerve to sit […]
This is the final test of…. well I don’t really know.I am going back to the place where it all began.where it began and ended. I don’t know if I can take it without breaking down. to somepeople on here we sound happy in comments when we really are dying inside. for me music kinda helps sad or not. I personally like arms of an angel by Sarah mchlaughlan and emotionless by good Charlotte. but I am still partly dead inside.I said before I hated my dad. but honestly id rather feel.sadness/depression rather than hatred.
Hi, 3 years ago, at the age of 18, I ignorantly made the biggest mistake of my life and tried to kill myself for multiple reasons. I had a passion for a car called 350z, and I did everything I could to get my hands on one, so I worked a minimum wage job and eventually started paying one off. I was happy 🙂 then I met a wonderful girl that I immediately felt connected too, I fell In love with her. We dated for a year and I must say it was the best year of my life. Then i graduated high school, 4 […]