My depression started when i was 11. My father had been abusing me and cheating on my mother then she eventually got tired of it and her left when i was 12. Haven’t talked to him since. My mother went into deep depression after he left and she started abusing prescription drugs (soma, vicoden etc) she had very unmanageable diabetes and was in and out of the hospital for 6 years. Then she passed away 3 years ago when i was 18. She died from an accidental pill overdose. Ever since then ive had so much emotional pain. I dont know how to deal with […]
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Just let it fucking end already I can’t take this paranoia and depression my anxiety driving me crazy
Hello. You can call me M. I’ve never told my story honestly to anyone. But if you’re willing to listen to a bland rant, please stay.
My therapist is the closest to actually understanding me – not my dad, my mother, my grandmother, no one – but my therapist – we’ll call her K – she pried into my life and summarized me. Helped me. Listened. Laughed.
Ironically, I’m just a young client to her, a misguided, awkward teen. Nothing more. She’s an objective audience, untied by family biases.
And she’s indifferent, correct? She endures my little tales of woe and anxiety, etc, before dismissing me from her […]
suicide does not end the chances of life getting worse, suicide eliminates the possibility of it ever getting better <3
I try to sleep but i never can… All I ever do is sit up thinking constantly. I use to smoke bowls and do drugs to help but I’m trying to stay clean. I need to actually. But without drugs all i think about is hurting myself. When it will be my last day how it will all end. Does anyone know anyway to help with this shit? I mean I’m on meds but they don’t work at all. Someone anyone ideas please… I’m tired of wanting drugs and to hurt myself but I have nothing else.
It’s been so long since I slept. I can’t focus and I keep leaving work early because I can’t stay awake. Get home and i can’t stop my mind to sleep. It’s whirring constantly like white noise. I can’t even deal with my thoughts separately, to make progress. I’ve finally found a decent therapist (after years of shitty ones) but I’m still scared it won’t get better. I get attached to people easily and get so easily offended. I need to be stronger but I can’t be here much longer it’s so exhausting just waking up :/ I keep thinking of ways to end it […]
I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t need to do this anymore. So why don’t I just leave, everyone hates me. I’m worthless and pointless so why don’t I just end my life while I still ge the chance
And so it began.. The day you were born.. Reality is everyday we die a little, but for some they want to live an eternity, while most wish the hell they were given would end tomorrow…
I’m just so sick of being sad, the worse part is I can’t explain why I’m even sad… I wrote a note and it seemed like I was drunk and crazy at the same time, it makes sense in my head but I can’t get it out…. I find myself researching ways to end it that won’t upset people if they find me, why am I so worried still about pleasing people
I don’t know if I could handle it anymore, I’m dying of love and also of hope. I am afraid that I’ll do something to end this soon. T_T
I guess I’m writing this more for myself than anybody else…it just breaks my heart sometimes knowing that the one place you thought where you will be understood and not judged can also be infiltrated by people who cannot do the former and do the latter. I mean this place, our SP community, is a place to share our stories not just about having done it, attempted it and survived it but also having contemplated and/or contemplating it. Contemplating it meaning thinking about it…wondering why do we feel the need to end it? What is going on in our lives? Why must we hold on […]
I don’t know how much longer i can keep faking a smile. Whether it be at school, home, with friends and family I don’t think i can keep it up much longer. I might end up running away and never coming back..
I don’t know what to do. I bet nobody would care or notice if I left anyways
Why don’t I pack up and leave for good? :/ I am alone as it is anyways….
My mind won’t focus on anything but suicide. Everyday I envision the multiple easy ways I could end it. I don’t only think about them, I visualize them. Like mini hallucinations. I’m terrified of what my brain is doing to me. Should I check myself in somewhere?
Anyone who says suicide is a choice is full of shit. Suicide is a battle, one you only hope you’ll survive.
All advice is welcome, and yes, I’m medicated.
Yet again another sleepless night… Afraid to close my eyes but terrified to keep them open… Sigh… Will it ever end?….
I find this has more meaning than I’d like to think it does.
In the end were all just chalk lines on the concrete, drawn only to be washed away.
For the time that I’ve been given, I am what I am..
Never enough by five finger death punch
Why do we celebrate thanksgiving when its really a time of mass murder? Why do we celebrate Christmas and buy all sorts of junk when so many are starving? Why are priests molesting the kids? Why did people boot stomp babies, and pull them apart in fours called quartering? Why were Jews killed by the millions? Why were Africans killed by the millions? why does it seem like a cycle that will never end? I dont blame any race , color, creed or nationality for any of this.All that most of us have become and learned has been around and handed down from generation […]
i have researched for numerous ways to commit, today i begin my journey to end this pain through self starvation. Ill post periodically to inform about the process. its been a long fight, and the fight to live is finally over.
I am clumsy oath. I have no feel. I tried to massage my mother. I do not seem to feel anything. What am I good at? What am I doing here?
My ideas get rejected. I cannot even do a simple university assignment. I want to leave my university. My ego wants me to stay even I know really well I am going to kick out.
I like being alone because I feel even more alone with the people around me.
I am tired. I want all this to stop. I just don’t have the guts or energy to end this. THe world has come […]
I am a late diagnosed female of Asperger syndrome. I have never had any friends. I disowned my toxic family. My marriage is in shit street. I have never been able to work for too long despite having many talents that I cannot seem to apply in the working world. I also have 3 children. 2 are autistic. Life is too difficult. I have endured far too many relationship breakdowns that I completely avoid and cannot trust people any longer. I look to my future and see nothing but loneliness, more pain, illness, and bitterness. How is it rational to want to live for that […]
Fuck I hate my birthday! Everything shitty always happens on my birthday. This time I have officially been told to get out. By my so called best friend. I really have noone & nothing left in this world.
I will not be able to find nor afford accommodation & if I manage to find somewhere, the same thing will happen all over again.
Looks like I’ll be bringing my plans forward to my birthday, end of this month.
I don’t want to die, but I’ve got nothing to live for.