Last night I try too cry but no tears came out, so I cut my self a little to feel other pain that is not inside me. Some times this pain makes me strong but today is killing me. I just wanna desapeard, I wanna be in the eternal sleep. Im not good or strong. I have a very suicidal mind, I can take anything even a mecanic pencil and use it to harnd me. I dont like ro be touched im scaerd wen some one hugs me even my family. I dont like to be around of people but at the same time I […]
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Eternal Sleep
I know sometimes we just want to give up and be in the eternal sleep. But we have to keep going. God knows what he is doing. Maybe today was not your day or anyother day but we need to keep going I know its hard somtiemes I want to give up and die I have a very suicide mind I know how to end life with anyobject, I cant be touched by anyone because im scaerd they heat me or do something to me, im verry sencetive, I am realy anxious, and I get insain wen im sad I beging to pull my hair […]
She got up and grabbed her things. Escaped to some empty common room, opened her laptop, and methodically pulled that hairband against her wrist.
“Haha you know you shouldn’t do that, it could hurt haha,” some guy says, nodding at her wrist. She smiles up to him and nods slightly. He moves away and she goes back to snapping the hairband. She holds back tears and swallows deeply. She turns on her laptop and reads sad stories, all the while tugging at that damn hairband. People wander past, but none even glance her way. She is alone, lost, forgotten. Her phone buzzes, waking her up from […]
I feel like everyone has a sob story or what some might call a good reason. “I’m insecure” or “I’m depressed” or “I’m abused”. That’s all sad and really painful and I get why you might just want to give up.
The thing with me is: I don’t even have any of that. It was a slow process, but at the same time it happened in the blink of an eye; a rush of clarity for me.
There’s nothing for me here. There never will be. Nothing had to happen to convince me of it, because I think I’ve always known.
Nothing ever feels right. […]
die die they say for me to die.
no I’m better than that. you can’t make me.
they say cry, cry emo freak cry.
I cry when I want to, I don’t want to cry for you.
Bleed. bleed emo girl bleed.
I already am…
********************* I wonder what death is like… i feel it would be eternal sleep, that what we humans classify as heaven and hell would translate into eternal dreaming and eternal nightmares….. hmmm
I’ve come to the realization that living with these suicidal thoughts will probably never go away. This is my first time trying out an online community for suicide/depression or what have you because I feel I am running out of options. I feel I have no one who I can talk to in my life about these issues due to the deep shame that comes with them. Even though I feel I have a good support system, I don’t like feeling like I’m burdening those I love with all this I go through on a daily basis.
Getting to the point, I’ve realized that I am too scared to actually […]
The option is always there. If your religious its thought that God decides when when you go but we have the power also. When your world begins to crumble I front of your eyes ..she come presenting herself as the best option there is. One jump.. Some pills ..some cuts to arteries and your off. To an eternal sleep, no pain, nothing because your dead and oh how I wish I could commit the act but I have tried and failed. Now just one big jump awaits for me but thought of putting my pain onto my family kills me and then app appears again […]
As someone who’s survived 3 serious attempts I wish to say that I have no intention of making it through number four. I’ve finally arrived at the conclusion that I’m statistically supposed to be dead by now and it’s not something which makes me feel better. I’ve seen so much pain on my short tour here on Earth. Humanity does little to stoke my optimism, in fact it does the opposite. I’m a vet, I’m mentally unstable, I’m single, I’m unemployed for the fourth year running and I’m almost homeless (I already was for 3 years.) A close friend who I met while being homeless committed suicide via alcohol and prescription […]
Hello, I’m new to the site.
My name is Jaspar and I think I’m going to die…
What to say? I came to this site out of desperation…I’ve tried everything, therapy, meds which just leave me feeling sick. nothing is working. I’m just so fucking tired. I’m scared, so very scared of dieing…but the pain of life is too great and Depression got the best of me. I’m actually almost…excited? that I may end my suffering and go into an eternal sleep. I just have to find the right method of suicide now. I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like death is fucking calling me. My […]
Every time i’m about to fall asleep, i would wish that i would never wake again
Once I had a fabulous career and I was on top of the world but that all ended 5 years ago and I still can’t move on. I’ve been on different meds and they work for a while but the dark moods always return. I’m too young to retire and too old to find a decent job. I work for selfish evil people who have no respect for me. I sold my soul for a paycheck. I just want to feel good about myself but I can’t make it work. I work to make enough money to send my […]
So I’ve thought a lot about why my incessant mind always draws me back to ending it.  I’ve been down that thought pattern too many times to know that it accomplishes nothing.  Every time I get to the breaking point, I can’t help but consider my family and those who know me.  They hold my hand back simply by knowing I exist.  I never decide to stay here for myself, but selfishness is so tempting.  To imagine an eternal sleep that never involves the harsh ups and downs that life causes.  That’s why I really do love the “to be or not to be” soliloquy from Hamlet.
I don’t suffer […]
Today I found out that my Great Grandmother died of pneumonia last night in hospital. And I felt nothing. We were fairly close and I liked her far more than my Grandma. But when I heard she’d died… nothing. Nothing at all. I felt nothing for her death.
What makes me sad is the impact it has on the rest of my family. I nearly cry when I think about my Great Grandad having to hear his wife’s passed away and my Grandad hearing he’s lost his mother. It makes me really sad to see my mum so not herself. I can’t help but comfort my relentlessly […]
Sleep…I remember those days when i was able to fall asleep..listening to his breathing. Those days when Skye would lay next to me and her body would keep me warm. Those same days when i had no choice but to drift into a deep sleep because hanging out with my friends…and him…would tire me out. Sleep…sly sleep..escapes me now. Leave me with nightmares still…fully awake. I see their faces. I hear their voices…i smell them..just like in the dreams that once brought me joy. Without sleep…without them…those memories become nightmares..and daymares..and thoughts of suicide..but it isnt suicide..its eternal sleep. As I type she lies beside me…but i […]
Buried under self-inflicted fate, I spend a thousand silent nights awake/Falling into dreams of pain, waiting for the light of day, to wash away this burning sin/This torment searching for a new victim / Looking forward to the day I die, I never found a way to live/Turn back now, before it’s too late/Seething hate and leaking faith, hold me up before I break/A fragile heart and darkened mind, this is your time, this is your time/Follow the crumbs that I leave, leading to a black heaven/You know the way this story ends/Lift me up and start again/Waiting for the voice that fades, straining to […]