I was made in this world, by unfairness… i lived my life in internats and thus life live practically with a hunched back, and now as a 31 year old with no actual friends, no girlfriend (i gave up there) (though i have a ex i dont want to talk about and shes not the reason for this but more of a final straw in a sense that made me really get bad physically after she broke up with me because i wouldnt have sex with her like a monkey but wanted to take things slow, im also a virgin, yes at my 31st and […]
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everyone
“The Suicide Project is a website devoted to allowing people to share their stories of desperation and depression… and ultimately of hope.”
I think in the light of recent events it is important not to forget what the purpose of this special website is. Regardless of how different the reasons for us to come here might be, what unites us is the suffering we experience and the desire to end it one way or another. No matter what part of the world you come from, what race or gender you are, what kind of sexuality you are living, what religion you might or might not belong […]
My pain.
Staying up all night wondering why your even alive.. Asking your self is it even worth being here ? Looking up to the moon and the stars while your tears are falling down your face. Looking down at your wrist and seeing all your scars. You close your eyes and reminiscing when you where that happy lil girl full of joy and faith. You open your eyes and your back to reality , where you hate everything about your self. You get out of your room and take a glance at your family apologizing to them in your mind for all the pain you’ve […]
I often wonder what everyone else is thinking. Do they think the same way as I do? Do they have scars under their sleeves? Are they suicidal? I’m 17 and in my final year of high school. I’m sure there is some statistic that tells you one in every x amount of people have depression, and y amount of those people are suicidal. But I really don’t believe in statistics, everyone is different, you know. No one would ever guess how my mind works. I am the quiet girl. She sits in the front seat, laughs with her friends, smiles, comforts people, maintains average grades. […]
When I feel like I can’t make it, coming here makes my day a lil easier. Just having a place where I feel like I can talk openly about situation really helps. I thanks everyone for listening and talking with me. I may still feel suicidal or like I am getting close to the edge, but at least here I am not looked down because of it…
…and you’re just, appalled? Disgusted?
When I take a look at me – when I really look at myself, I don’t like who I am. I think I did at one point, back in high school, when things were easier. I was popular. I was lusted after. I was loved by my peers and teachers. I had them all fooled. I had myself fooled.
You could say I have an addiction. I cannot seem to shake this feeling that I will never, ever be content.
“Whore.”
“Pathetic.”
Why do I keep treating myself like this? Will I always feel this way? I need to forgive myself, accept that […]
I’ve always been aware of the things around me but yet i’m so scaredof everything. i’m a senior and i’ve been depressed for a long time now. Everyone i had turned their back on me because they didn’t like who i was. worse,when it ever came to confrontations iwas and still afraid of standing up for myself and i hate the fact that i’m weak and worthless. I often hide how i feel and disguise it, noone cares about me. Last year i tried comitting suicide a couple of times but failed because i don’t want to die without atleast trying to be happy. i […]
Is it sad that the only reason I’m still living is for my pets?
Is it sad that I steal my mothers pain medication?
Is it sad that I sleep with a football player who I have no feelings for?
Is it sad that whenever people ask me if I’m okay I avoid the question?
Is it sad that every day I dream about ending my life?
Is it sad that the only response I give people is “I don’t care”?
Is it sad that I’ve drawn everyone away?
Is it sad that my father doesn’t even know how to spell my name?
Is it sad that I’m so desperate for help that […]
Okay, well where should I begin? First, you should know that I’m not a very open person. At all. Second, I’ve been “depressed” for about a year now. Or maybe longer, I don’t really know. Not many people know about my depression. And yes I’ve self harmed many times.
This is currently my second day of missing school and I’m so far behind already that it’s frightening. I lack the motivation to do anything anymore. I’ve basically ruined every relationship I’ve ever had. And I’m currently destroying all my friendships because I don’t have the energy to keep up with everyone. Have I tried discussing this […]
Ending it today. Bye everyone.
I don’t know how much longer I can live.
I’ll give you all a final update when I end it.
All I can say is thank you to everyone on this site for an amazing experience.
It’s been a long time coming and many failed attempts are piled up amidst the endlessly towering walls I’ve built up. Not everything I do fails. Not everyone I meet I make unhappy. But enough do that it might as well be everyone and everything.
I don’t want to hold on. I do so for others and fuck, I have tried. I moved, moved again, got a new job, adjusted meds, started therapy. The thoughts– fantasies, perhaps- of my demise never find a chance to subside.
I’ve been depressed since I was 10. Abusive and oppressive household and general faulty wiring to blame. This turned into severe […]
Hello there. I have a loving husband three amazing kids a fantastic family apart from my brother who is a complete twat (I mean totally) and I want to end my life…. . . ..I just want my pain to stop and it never does….. I just don’t know how i find the strength everyday to keep going. I am alone in this. I can’t share how I feel sat at the table….. It would break hearts….. But mine is breaking too…took a lot to put this down but it’s out there now…. I’m scared.
I’m new and like everyone here I have been suicidal and depressed. I feel like I have let a lot of people I care and love down. Seems like all I do is mess up and I feel so alone. I feel as no one cares if I’m around or not. Seems like only time they want me is when they need something or something needs done. I feel like I’m a burden to my family and friends.
I do have a story but I don’t want to get into right yet for I’m not sure if anyone would want to know or talk. It took […]
Tomorrow I’ll tell about my thoughts and my cut to the doctor.
I fear for the comment but I gotta do it. thank you everyone who gave me advice
My dad just came in my room and pretty much told me I’m an asshole. Then he said that I just like to make everybody miserable. I don’t even know why he made a point to say that he loves me, when clearly he’s just miserable he has to be with me.
I used to love my dad but now he just makes me feel so worthless. I’ve had suicidal thoughts for a long time now. But he just keeps pushing me further and further.
The worst part is that he doesn’t even know. He doesn’t know that I feel depressed, or that I want to kill […]
i found this site when i was in grade 7. i’m going into grade 10 now. in the span of three years so much has changed. when I was younger i didn’t understand why some users posted the things they did, but i gradually began to deeply sympathize with their emotions of anguish and sorrow.
i’ve been visiting here more frequently as of late, and it feels like more and more people are joining. is that a good thing? maybe it’s just me
this place is special. i often wonder about everyone that’s come and gone. what was their story? where did they go? the fact […]
So yeah I’m here cause I wanna die but I guess I wanna write my story? Leave one final mark on this world or something I don’t really know…
I’ve been pretty much bullied my whole life. I’m 19 years of age and in college with a part time job. I don’t really remember what life is like without the depression. I’ve pretty much been depressed for since I was about 12..when I was old enough to really understand the bullying. It wasn’t the typical type of bullying so many people didn’t really know it was happening to me or if I told them just thought […]
Good day everyone,
Terribly sorry for seeming helpless and sharing too much of my personal issues here, but when one is desperate for help they take any opportunity.
I’ve been researching on ways to avert suicide and I came upon this site. I have been battling against suicidal thoughts since I was 11 after a classmate demonstrated, in front of our very eyes, how to slash wrists. (Mind you, she just wanted to show how brave and utterly reckless she was for doing something that makes her feel above others who couldn’t, at the time, even consider harming themselves.) – I followed her footsteps when […]
I look through the posts here on sp and i dont see any familiar names: idk whether thats a good thing or bad… I hope everyone that I have talked to that I’ve shared stories with and bad times are doing ok. I’d like to htink they dont come here anymore because their lives got better, they moved on and now are at peace with themselves. I hope thats the case <3. Maybe one day i will reach the point where this sight is a very very distant memory.