“You should try and see that things are not that bad”. How many of us have been told they should try to be satisfied of their life? I don’t know how many time people reproach me that I was not happy. After all, I graduated from highschool, I went in to university I wanted to, I even managed to have friends. .. Maybe they are sick of seing me so pale, so stressed out, so weak I can understand they don’t want to take the risk of being unhappy themselves. But sometimes I’m so mentally tired of dealing with my pseudo normal life and normal […]
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everything around me
I swear I could have blown my brains out this evening if I had a Gun in my vicinity. Damn, I got a bad panic attack and everything around me became a blur, migraines etc I hate these Panic Attacks … Not sure they are a result of me trying to wean myself off of meds…
Uhmm, I mean to ask …. Has anyone here on SP ever Over Dosed on Anti-depressants ???
I just want to end it now and don’t know the best way. I want something that would be painless and I’d just fall asleep and never wake up.
Then I think of my daughter. She’s 23 and has a wonderful boyfriend. They are both working on their futures and doing as well as they can. Both working hard towards it.
I don’t want to hurt her more than anyone in my life. But at the same time I just feel worthless and don’t want to be around anymore
I am so disappointed with how everything ended I’m so hateful towards myself and everything around me so I have these moments were I cease to have any control over my rage today I got in a fight with my brother and all I could think was to make sure he never fucked with me again to seriously harm him Idk why I left Idk how i did eitherthe urge to let the rage take over was so strong (no he’s not much younger than me and no I didn’t even make him bleedi really wanted to do much worst)
I always ask myself the question, ” Why the fuck am I here?”. I just feel like a cog in a wheel now. I used to have dreams and ideas but the passion for life all faded away. Love, Relationships and all these Babbitt bourgeois ideals don’t appeal to me any more. I was struck with depression in my final semester so I didn’t complete my dissertation which led to dropping out. I started to contemplate suicide from that point on. Part of me wants to stay and fight and the other part is flirting with death. It fucking tears me apart. I hate everything […]
I can’t pretend that I know what love means, neither how it dies. I lost control, everything around me goes on but doesn’t move. Maybe this was real love, too late we realized about what we had and lost. I’ve wasted so many years my love. I wouldn’t like this to be my conclusion.
I can feel myself being pulled under,
Deep into the depths of the ocean
I look up; I can see the dim sunlight underneath the water
The last glimpse of sunlight I’ll ever see
I use my hands to claw on to whatever I can find
But to no avail, they splash through the murky sea
I think of all the things I’ve done
The good and the bad
And how they would reflect me in my passing
Like the reflections of the sky in the ocean
Through the light and the darkness
Through the sun and the storms
My life was merely just a chapter in a book
And my chapter would be passed over for more
For […]
Lately I have been very frustedated at everything. Like every little noise or unneccissary movement ticks me off. And I feel like I wanna punch them in the face to make them stop. I’m being a ***** to a lot of people. I’m not trying to on purpose but that’s just the way it comes out I can’t help it. I really do not get why I’m like thIs. Ill fo throught periods of time when I’m fine and then times where I’m supEr frusterated at everything around me. Maybe I’m bipolar???? That would be weird. I don’t know what to really do right now […]