There may come times when we are lost
It will make us want to break free at any cost
There may comes times when life is sad
It makes everything look and feel bad
But even in all this pain and chaos
There is still some hope in all of us
It gives us the will and strength to live
Even when we feel life has nothing to give
We feel fear, we feel pain
It can make us go insane
It can make us do things we think that might be right
Endless tormenting us with nightmares at night
We feel all is […]
Everyone knows me as a cheery girl. They want to be me because they think I have no complications in my life. But it’s funny, because they don’t know anything about my life. Yes, I tell them funny stories that really happened in my life but that’s what they all know about my life. They don’t know how I am going through depression. They don’t know how I am crying at night over everything. They don’t know how it’s so hard to force a smile and fake a laugh. I always put on a mask of happiness of mine everytime I’m with them but there’s […]
There is only emptiness today. I am not angry or sad, happy or even bored. At 2:17p.m. I realized I had been staring out the window for almost 4 hours. Where had the time gone? I couldn’t even tell you what I had been watching for so long. Were there people walking by? Was it raining out? My mind felt like it had been excavated. Everything of value, even the darkness I clung to – gone, all gone. Was this what death was? Only relics remain, echoes of a person that is trapped deep within me. There are hints all around me. My hands, they are stained with blue […]
I need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. My deppresion feels so strong and I just want to self harm again to take away this pain I feel inside. I told this person how I really felt about him and we were really close friends and he led me on, but he told me that he was talking to someone else. I hope everything goes well with him and her but now I feel so heartbroken. I feol for him hard. now a fake smile is what plays outs on my face. What should I do?
I’m tired – I don’t mean I want to go to sleep, I mean I’m tired of life.
I’m bored – I don’t mean that I’m bored of what we are doing right now, I mean I’m bored of everything and everyone in my life.
I want to leave – I don’t mean I want to leave the place we are in at this moment, I mean I want to leave my life and disappear.
I hate this – Not the thing that is currently going on, I mean fucking life.
Nostalgia: Part 2
Sometimes things come up that remind me of my childhood or mostly my teenage years and it makes me more depressed. And it’s not because I had a horrible childhood (it wasn’t great, but others had it worse), but whenever I’m “taken back” to those times of my life, I automatically compare it to now. Usually what reminds me are old games no one plays anymore or popular music I remember being released and it played nonstop on the radio that no one knows anymore. Like those things I grew up with and still love to this day.. they don’t matter anymore. If I go up […]
Nostalgia: Part 1
The other day, a song came across my iPod that I haven’t heard since high school. At first I was like, “Wow, I love this song. It’s been so long since I’ve heard it.” Then it reminded me how much simpler things were for me then. I didn’t have as many responsibilities, my depression wasn’t nearly as bad then as it is today, etc.
But when I hear a song I listened to after a fight with my parents, friends, or after a breakup, I would start feeling that pain again. I would remember how much I was hurting and it was almost like I […]
Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]
I hate feeling so incredibly happy at the start of the day only to feel so down by the end of it.
I woke up yesterday feeling hopeful about a new day. Listening to upbeat music and making good breakfast. After previous night’s failed attempt, I felt a little better about myself and thought that maybe everything’s gonna be alright.
I met up with my bestfriend before going to school, to atleast calm my nerves and reduce anxiety. She told me how she got extra money as educational assistance from the local gov’t, I was pretty excited about it too since I could use the money. (tbh […]
today is hopefully my last day in this world, i have money now so i can start to prepare everything and do it tonight after work. You are all great
Proof of life engraved on arm
and sin of living scarred into flesh.
Charm long cast aside;
yin long embraced!
Memories of you become nightmares
as the past becomes my drug.
The time for repairs has long past;
can’t be debugged!
The future I wanted
ended long before I met you.
Trickster with sins of life and virtues of despair;
can’t take back!
“One by one, the sins have become a validation of existence, a sign that I’m human! I’m not human, though… The glorified virtues have become my curse. My last remaining sin, the proof I’m still breathing even though it’s nothing more than a sigh…”
I’m wishing for the sun to burn it away,
to rise like […]
Oh how I love manic episodes. You feel as though your soul is going to crawl through your pores. Everything you see is in HD, and if you drop something it’s as if you’ve dropped an atomic bomb on your toes. Yay bipolar
Hello, this is my first times me and I’m glad I found you. I can relate to so many people here after reading their post.
its 2:22am and its one of those nights where my pain won’t let me sleep and my mind is racing.
i recently left my job because I was taken for granted. I did so much there and it all went unnoticed. I am fincailly stuck! I attempted to open up a store on etsy making bday banners. To be honest I feel like it’s a completely waste of time. Nothing seems to go right, it takes me so long to do one […]
I was temporarily away. Everything came to be too much, leaving me bedridden for a few days. I slept so much that my bed began to stink and my body began to rot, in a sense.
I really didn’t want to return. I had left behind a huge mess, thinking that I was finally going to exit for good and consequently avoid it.
But, unfortunately, I’m still here. My method was poorly carried out that Wednesday morning.
So, fine. Physically, I’m here. I’m present. On this planet, I have mass.
Spiritually, though, I’m gone. I’m away. I’m not “beyond”, but I am absent.
When I came back the next week, […]
This isn’t about self pity, and this isn’t about what brings me down each day. Because if I could tell you what was wrong with me, I wouldn’t be on this site. I’m just naming some things I’ve done wrong that I seem to keep doing.
I’m too brutal. Little bit of a joke for you metal fans out there, but what I mean is that sometimes I’m a little too upfront and frank about how I feel. An example of this is when I liked this certain girl, and she’s really shy, too dumb to notice that though. So I went about my normal, honest, […]
There are only a handful of things keeping me from doing it, and they’re all people. My wife, whom I don’t want to leave to pick up my shit. My little brother, who will be so confused. My parents, who will be ravaged. My employees, who will not understand.
But the reasons not to are starting to be outweighed by the feeling that I need to do it.
I feel like the moments where I think about doing it are the only moments of clarity in my life and that everything else is fake.
I think that the fact that I don’t want to do it, but feel […]
I used to post here a lot, about a year and a half ago. I was hopeless and wanted everything to end so bad. I hoped and prayed everyday for things to get better and did everything I could to make it happen. I came here to not feel so alone.
And things did get better. It took a while but all my wishes came true and I finally got the happiness I had been seeking for so long.
It was all because of a guy I was in love with and was waiting for him to come back to me. He finally did and he proposed. […]
Lies and begging for sympathy!!!
posts a long rant about me trying to make it sound like I’m crazy when I’m hurt by his avoiding me since he moved to the city and has his thin and popular friends around again, yet he will not allow me to post what I feel on facebook!
I’m almost 17 now. Yay for me, I guess. The only thing I can possibly feel proud about is the fact that I’ve made it this far, because honestly I didn’t think I would reach 17. Or maybe I did, but I didn’t want to; I’m too coward to let go off everything.
Hooray for another year in which I accomplished absolutely nothing worthy.
Hooray for another year of constant failures and hollow feelings.
Hooray for another year in which I lost more people whom I loved.
Hooray for me…
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.