Would you come to my funeral? What thoughts would go through your head as you gazed at my cold, pale body? Would you feel bad about everything that you did? Would you miss me, years later when you’re married and have a family of your own, would you even remember my name? Would you cry for me? Do you miss me at all? Is there ever a piece of you that wishes you hadn’t made the decision to cut me out, freeze me out of your life? Will my name ever drift into your mind, years from now? Will you even know why?
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everything
There Is one thing that will keep me here and It’s pretty pathetic.Well actually two.Getting back with her will give me the “want” to wanting to live cause I’d live happily with her.The other thing Is the number one draft pick.(Feel free to laugh haha)If the Texans don’t pick Johnny Manziel I don’t wanna go on.This reminds me of the superbowl last year.If the ravens didn’t win,I didn’t wanna see tomorrow.Being from Houston and being a huge Aggie fan,I would love to see Johnny touchdown In a Texans uniform not no damn Teddy Bridgewater or Jadeveon Clowney.For the record Matt Schaub Is my franchise qb […]
I fell apart today leaving work…
It was a bad day and it left me feeling hollow inside when I walked out the door and you weren’t there to hug me and tell me that everything would be okay. I’ve met some good people, and someone our story has saved some of them…but I still don’t understand why you have to be gone forever. It just isn’t fair. I know life isn’t usually fair…but this is just such a cruel fate that I don’t know if I’ll ever completely heal, especially not when every little thing rips the wounds right open again. Having all the […]
I fell apart today leaving work…
It was a bad day and it left me feeling hollow inside when I walked out the door and you weren’t there to hug me and tell me that everything would be okay. I’ve met some good people, and someone our story has saved some of them…but I still don’t understand why you have to be gone forever. It just isn’t fair. I know life isn’t usually fair…but this is just such a cruel fate that I don’t know if I’ll ever completely heal, especially not when every little thing rips the wounds right open again. Having all the […]
Hello everyone, I’m back again. This time I couldn’t make it to the imagenary two week line, rather I crashed down hard yesterday after I came home from the University and needless to say the thoughts were back once more stronger than ever. I’m not willing to give up but I feel like a vent is in order and who knows maybe it’ll give you people a small crumb in getting forward.
So how did it start this time? I suppose the first surfacing of the emotion of not wanting to be on this planet, in these shoes or life came the last Saturday. I felt […]
i was caught cheating in school (actually the teacher saw the writings on my hand after the test) and never have i gotten into so much trouble. I told my parents in advance about the thing and they were so disappointed. i know all of these is my fault and my reasons will never be valid.
i just wish the guilt will go away. i have been back to feeling depressed again because its been hell for me lately. its the end of the school year and they’re just dumping schoolwork on us like there’s no tomorrow. then i got caught cheating and i feel worse. […]
The Anger came back. It feels like poison. It takes everything out of me and to compensate, I take it out on everyone and everything around me. I wish I didn’t I feel sorry after I do. But it just doesn’t seem to go away. It’s a punishment. I can’t sleep at night. I drink so I won’t dream. I have such an overwhelming guilt. I wish I could go back… Not to change the outcome. I don’t think anyone can cheat death. When it’s your turn. It’s your turn. I just wish I could have gone back. Not left her alone. I wish anyone, […]
why does no one love me? i want to feel liked and different from everyone else. i feel like im living the same day over and over again and nothing is changing. im still the aggrisive upset person that people know me as and i want things to change, but its just so hard, so bloody hard. i want someone who can lift my mood. someone who really enjoys my company and is interested in getting to know me. but its me thats blocking that, because im the same grumpy person i was 2 minutes ago, 2 months ago and 2 years ago. i need […]
Ive been trying to stop thinking of her, but everything reminds me of her. I love her too much. On the upside, she doesn’t entirely want to avoid me, she worked out some arrangements so we can communicate even if I don’t have a phone or anything of the sort.
I hate myself for this. Why can’t I just accept the fact that she’ll probably never love me? It’s pointless to continue.
At least I can make someone proud of me. It may not be you as a parent of me but it’s someone who acts more like a mother to me than you ever have. I’ve tried so hard for you to be proud of me and yet you’ve never said it. Soon I’m going to stop trying and give up but for now you still have a chance. I don’t know what else to do. So just so you know I’m done trying to please you I’m going to do everything in my own will to please the one person who acts like a mother […]
Laying here alone in bed
Staring the cuts on my legs
Wondering is it even worth it
Is it even worth living this life knowing everything is against you
Yes it’s worth it, you hear from everyone
But that one little voice in your head tells you its not
That little voice powers over everyone’s voice
Soon enough this life you live becomes dark lifeless emotionless
Listen to the noises around you
Listen as they fade away
Soon this life you live becomes over
Dead.
I don’t post very much, but I read everything, every day. I’ve seen some pretty insane stories here. Rape victims. Divorces gone terribly awry. Abusive parents, siblings, or other family members. People who lost everything. The list goes on and on; the list of, for lack of a better name, “typically depressed” people.
It’s incredible to me how the “typically depressed” crowd (and I say that with extreme respect) can be so strong. Lots of people have bounced back from these insane ordeals better than they were before. Sure, they’re depressed for awhile, but they “get over it,” […]
So, I’ll start with some background information.
My name is Sarah, I’m 15, I live in the United States, have a rocky relationship with my parents, have one younger brother, and I’m struggling.
I’m struggling to keep myself alive. I’m struggling to feel confident and accept myself. But I’ve found something to help. Color guard. So what is color guard? It’s a team that spins and throws: 6ft long metal flag poles, solid blocks of wood in the shape of a rifle, and sabers (swords). And yes, it’s a sport.
I’ve been suicidal since I was 10 years old, so that’s a grand total of 5 years. I […]
I just read a few stories here. They are sobering to say the least. And if you’re reading this, and you posted something recently I want to say sorry for thinking I had depression, or wanting to kill myself, because it’s nothing compared to what you guys went through or are still going through.
I feel sickened to think that anyone would find out my actual identity. That’s why I’m thankful this is anonymous.
I was bullied for a while up to lately but everything  is going okay.I’m fine in school, really stressed and probably could do a bit more study but okay. I have an idea […]
I´m 16,diagnosed with major depression,been depressed and suicidal for over a year now,I recently got out of a mental hospital,I was put there for suicide risk,it was one hell for me,I hated every single second I spent there,I were there for a little over 3 months,every second of it I spent faking my smile and telling lies about my mood and suicide thoughts, just to get out of there,it was really hard for me,I never want to go there anymore. So now that i´m finally out of the mental hospital,I have to keep this fake smile on my face constantly and act like everything is […]
I honestly feel like giving up, I dont know what to do with my life anymore. Yes I know I’m 12 years old I should just be happy. I’ve been suffering depression since I was 9. I started self harming when I was nine. It started of really small. It soon got worse and worse. Scars cover my body. Â I cant go a day without thinking of suicide. I’m bullied everyday my parents currently split up my 3 baby sister died. I’m cyberbullied, I used to be abused. I soon learnt to keep to myself I told ONE person about my past abuse everyone soon […]
All I want is to find someone. Someone who really understands me, not someone who says they understand but really don’t give a shit. I want to find someone that I can tell everything to, someone that’s been through the Same things as me. But I know for dam sure that won’t happen anytime.
I was friends with a girl that was suicidal, but said she loved me. The cause for suicidal thoughts were… the fact that I am also a girl and people in small towns don’t accept lesbians very well, especially her own family. And although I accepted her and cared a lot for her, I am straight.  She was teetering back and forth between wanting life and wanting death, and she cut herself because of the pain. I asked her a question that I thought could fix the problem at the time because I had so many answers, I asked her; Do you have any goals in […]
I dug myself a hole of depression. Now I’m stuck, so the only thing left to do is keep on digging and see where it leads. Well I found where it leads, in a girl from somewhere and a guy from somewhere.
Suicide- according to them is the answer; end result or whatever you want to call it. However, I live in fear of the day I’m told I’m going to die. Ironic, considering I want it most in the world some times.
Of coarse everyday I tell myself and numerous others that I’m “fine”. Which I am. I mean there is literally no other word to […]
I really do not understand the point of life if once we leave here we’re suppose to have some deep understanding of why everything is the way it is. If we already knew this before we came here then why the hell were we put here? Perhaps to make connections  that already existed before we came here, or maybe learn life lessons? If so, this also doesn’t make sense because we would have already achieved the state of knowing before being put here. Imagine being able to know everything. This could range from how many strands of hair exist on our heads to something miraculous […]