Tag:

far

How much have I changed

by Namelessqueer 8/19/2014

written by Namelessqueer

I was watching a video I made when I was 12 years old. I had similar feelings to the ones I feels now; “if my friend doesn’t want to make time to come to visit me and i’m doing all the work in visiting them, they’re aren’t my friend”

It kinda shocked me because I didn’t realized how deep and how far back these feelings go. Who knew.

Anyway, I moved to a new place recently, and though it lightens the load, I still feel heavy. Hopefully the excitement of change will distract me for a good time before I spiral again.

8/19/2014 3 comments

:'( …

by Fragile 8/18/2014

written by Fragile

Far away from facebook , far away from family , far away from people , far away from reality .. I sit there and cry , with every tear drop I hate him andI hate myself even more .. perhaps because I once gave someone the complete power to destroy me with just words :s

and once he had the chance , he did it .. perhaps I’d cut myself later , or maybe I’ll just end it all … but would that change a thing ? no it won’t .. the pain would only follow me into the other life , and while I keep […]

8/18/2014 1 comment

I might have lost everyone because of my actions

by jael85 8/17/2014

written by jael85

I apologize for my actions, for being MIA so long. I had to get help. I’m not cured by far, never will be but I’m trying. Please don’t leave me. You guys helped me so much.

8/17/2014 3 comments

A NOTE TO IAMZERO – CONTINUING FROM YESTERDAY

by Dallas 8/7/2014

written by Dallas

You’re welcome.

It’s funny: people talk about how easy it is to find places on the internet about how to kill yourself. But, when you go looking, there’s actually very little. The “joke” sites far outnumber the serious ones. In fact, the only true serious one I’ve ever found is lostallhope dot com. It alone appears to have serious and well-researched information available on different methods.

But I’m serious about the Vipassana meditation and that book I mentioned. It sounds clichéd to say that “it opened a whole new world for me”, but, well, it opened a whole new world for me. And mindfulness meditation really is […]

8/7/2014 4 comments

worth it?

by thelostgirl1499 7/31/2014

written by thelostgirl1499

Is it worth me posting my story,I’ve had a pretty shitty life so far,and I’m wondering if maybe talking would help..

There’s a lot of things bottled up in my broken self.

7/31/2014 6 comments

I actually reached out

by notwhoiwanttobe 7/28/2014

written by notwhoiwanttobe

I actually reached out tonight to the National Suicide Prevention chat online. I’m still on it in another window. It’s a little comforting so far. My urges to end my life aren’t so overwhelming now. Has anyone else had experience with them? I was actually kind of afraid that they would dispatch cops or someone to come take me to a hospital. It sounds absurd, but I’ve heard of it happening before.

7/28/2014 2 comments

In bed 3 days now-I Blame it on the Blackstar-Desolate inside

by misanthrope 7/27/2014

written by misanthrope

Haiku-for Thanatos

Pedantic and mardy
You go too far,Hamster-Hole
You need a swift kick

Haiku#2 for Thanatos

You said Plagiarize
Its called Active Listening
My fell assassin

Haiku#3 for Thanatos

One eye to the past
Unrequited, star fading
See you Space Cowboy

7/27/2014 5 comments

in-which-situtation-am-i

by leo 7/26/2014

written by leo

I met her on this thursday … My best friend and my friends given me suprise by taking her at my home … when i seen her , i get shocked. I was too happy and excited when i seen her , it was just like i get my breath, i get my life… i cant tell how much i was happy…. And then she ran to me and hugged me tightly.. i just get another big shocked… it was like i get my life ,i get my everything…. and then i hugged her tightly…. and holded her hands …. we were walking together by […]

7/26/2014 1 comment

“Away From The Sun”

by bigjamdaddy 7/25/2014

written by bigjamdaddy

“Away From The Sun”
by 3 Doors Down

It’s down to this
I’ve got to make this life make sense
Can anyone tell what I’ve done
I miss the life
I miss the colours of the world
Can anyone tell where I am

‘Cause now again I’ve found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I’m so far down, away from the sun again
Away from the sun again

I’m over this
I’m tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling’s gone
There’s nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I […]

7/25/2014 1 comment

I want to kill myself….

by leo 7/13/2014

written by leo

I am dying without her…. She is is going far far away from me …… i cant live without her …..i just want to die.. i tried to kill myself… but something was stopping and that her love…

Is there anybody who can give me some suggestion…

7/13/2014 8 comments

Shadowy Realm

by gunnervin 7/13/2014

written by gunnervin

When they fought, I chose not to fight.
When they cried, I thought there is respite.
When they loved the wealthy and the wise,
I knew there is a reason for some being otherwise.

Amidst, the squibbles and squabbles of life,
My candid nature kept me alight.

But then came doubt, I did my self.
I did my nature, I did my health.
I doubted everything I felt.
And on I went to change my self.

I tried to turn the course of the stream,
Not knowing I was only killing a dream
Of little joys and profound realm,
On I went on broken whelm.

I had walked too […]

7/13/2014 4 comments

Note self

by Astoriesend 7/8/2014

written by Astoriesend

As I walk through life I imagine it’s one big knife. At any second I can slip and watch my life end. I can imagine the pain I would cause if I went, but I can only blame myself. I try my hardest to get it out of my mind but there’s always that one thing that puts me on the edge. That one person who pushes things to far. That one person who makes the pain not look as bad. That’s why they say time heals all wounds but sometimes the cut is just too deep.

7/8/2014 0 comment

I’m sorry my Angel

by mommy.is.leaving 7/5/2014

written by mommy.is.leaving

Dear precious Angel, I love you more than anything! You were never bad I promise, but mommy has to leave this place. I can not be her anymore, but will wait at heavens gates for you. I will not go in till I find you there. I am sorry I know your sad. I just can’t stay in far too sad. My heart is heavy and my eyes always cry. I’m sorry I couldn’t do better. You will have daddy and grandma and grandpa your imma and Randy paw too. But mommy isn’t able to stay , but in heaven is where I’ll wait for […]

7/5/2014 31 comments

The Froth of July

by clevername 7/1/2014

written by clevername

Because wordplay.

Here i sit on SP, contemplating mortality, nine-something pm my time, and fireworks whistle and pop, not far away. Three days early. I doubt the people launching them have any real clue just what it is they’re supposed to be celebrating… or how jeopardized and compromised that particular thing has come to be.

I wanted to make some kind of… soup reference, or something, but alas, i’m not in gear for that at this time. It’s just that the 4th of July has been an increasingly stark source of irony for me, since i found myself awake.

I wonder if they know what “Independence” really means.

I […]

7/1/2014 23 comments

Turned Off

by Scarlett 6/16/2014

written by Scarlett

Why do I not have the energy or the excitement needed to enjoy myself during the day? What is it about me that drives people away, like I’m some sort of weirdo? I can smile, I can play the part, but it’s all fake and I know it. I’m not going to pretend I’m your best friend, but I don’t dislike your company either, you know? Yet I’m excluded even though I’m not exactly bullied. Summer is my break from that, but it also seems to be a break from my true friends too so far, for the most part. I guess they’re turned off […]

6/16/2014 0 comment

It’s finally (almost) time.

by mossyzinc 6/14/2014

written by mossyzinc

I’ve chosen October 12, 2014.

One hundred and nineteen days, or: a little under four months to live,Â reconcile myself with the prospect of oblivion, attempt to say goodbyes. I won’t pretend that I’m not afraid of what comes (or, rather, whatÂ doesn’tÂ come) after this world, but my desire to dieÂ is far stronger than my fear of the unknown.

I’ve even found a peaceful, painless way. There’s no gory aftermath to contend with. I would like to minimize, as realistically as possible, the casualties of an acquaintance’s suicide.

I don’t know about the afterlife, differential calculus, or interstellar space, but I know that this much is true: Some people were […]

6/14/2014 3 comments

Remembering Carl and Monica…

by ajstevens 6/13/2014

written by ajstevens

I’ve never posted anything on a blog before, but given the circumstances, I feel obliged to speak out. I have lost my roommate Carl to suicide about a month ago. The circumstances were tragic. His sister had committed suicide last November and this had sent the family into a huge depression. Unfortunately, both of Carl’s parents are now dead as a result of their own hand. All of this was far too much. It still feels unreal to me. Things like this just don’t happen. I am unsure how to move on…..

6/13/2014 7 comments

by Sam 6/9/2014

written by Sam

June Carter Cash and Johnny Cash sang Farside Banks of Jordan (copywright blah,blah blah) but it makes me think of you Jeff…

I believe my steps are growin’ wearier each day
Still I’ve got another journey on my mind
The lures of this old world have ceased to make me wanna stay
My one regret is leavin’ you behind

But if it proves to be His will that I am first to cross
And somehow I’ve a feelin’ it will be
When it comes your time to travel likewise, don’t feel lost
For I will be the first thing that you’ll […]

6/9/2014 1 comment

a clean slate

by blankpage 6/2/2014

written by blankpage

I keep hearing people say, it gets better or that now I can start over fresh. They tell me to keep my chin up & my nose down. Keep myself busy, focus on work but remember to relax & take some time to enjoy things. They tell me I will feel better soon and the words sting like tiny cuts exposed to the cold black ocean. Every word they utter another crack at my facade & I wonder how much they see. They must see more than I think since most of my conversations end up here. Oh to be like my baby sister who […]

6/2/2014 0 comment

My deepest desire has come and gone

by nozmoking 5/25/2014

written by nozmoking

A week and a day ago, I has handed instructions to “walk toward the light.” I fell out of bed. I went into respiratory failure. I was eventually transported to the hospital and briefly pronounced dead. Except for the physical pain of getting myself back into bed repeatedly, the shallow panic breathing I could not control and discovering I had shat myself and lay in it most of the night I remember nothing and felt very little.

I am quite sad now that I am here today toÂ speak of it. I am now in far more pain than ever and much weaker than before yet […]

5/25/2014 3 comments

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