Tag:

fast

The Chase

by Aryl 7/9/2014

written by Aryl

There are some things that I cannot let go of.

I want answers from those who will not give me any.. not now, not ever.

Desperation washes over me whenever I think of ‘back then’ and the truth is that I’m not sure that what I remember is what happened because I was so young at the time. All I want is for those who were involved to ‘fess up for once in their lives, but I know deep down that it will never happen.

So, for the past few years I’ve been trying to forget.

Each hour now pasts like a dream – so detached from reality – […]

7/9/2014 1 comment

…..

by Remnant The Unbroken 7/3/2014

written by Remnant The Unbroken

Well, I’m starting Prozac.

Can you OD on it? Maybe that’ll be a good thing to stack up with my Klonopin, Zoloft, Seroquel, and capsule full of Benadryl/whatever other kind of headache medicine I found in the kitchen (if I do decide to OD…I’m iffy about that type of exit). Although since I’m stopping those two drugs and only taking Klonopin as needed, if I were to take a bunch at once maybe it’ll be a complete shocker to my system. Then again, I seem to be unaffected by meds half the time so I’m probably going to fail in an OD attempt.

I’m so frustrated with my […]

7/3/2014 39 comments

F*cked up mind

by That_1_Guy 6/23/2014

written by That_1_Guy

Im new here and i found this site by typing in im so fucked up in the mind. Cause I really am. If you knew me you wouldnt believe it. I run cross country and track really fast. Get told I’m intelligent all the tune. I love computers and gaming. I used to use it as an escape spending hours in my ruin on a game to avoid reality. Then i started smoking in eight grade. I slowly went down hill and od’d on pills. This year was my freshman year i got alcohol poisoning. Here recently i started smoking weed and you know i […]

6/23/2014 2 comments

showers…and coping strategies

by Mary Love 6/9/2014

written by Mary Love

Two nights ago, i was showering because i wanted to self harm so bad and they told me to use that as a coping skill…it worked, until i started shaving my legs hard and fast because I was thinking about it…took a whole chunk of my leg off….good thing it looks natural. I don’t know what I should do for my coping skills anymore. I used to love showers cuz they made me so tired but I always have to shave in them and it just sucks to be around razors right now. any suggestions?

6/9/2014 12 comments

no eye. no face. dead. beedoodiit

by Bisban 6/4/2014

written by Bisban

Final frontier and the music is sooooooo beautiful.
I need to find the way. Go- go- go, little parasect.
Let me summon my inner pokemon spirit.
Go- go- go, little parasect. You the living so fast.
Wait for the muk! Wait for the muk!

Singing to the melody. Butterfree- oh butterfree.
The pokemon and the zodiac race. Charizard was the first.
Ponyta, how do we cross the ocean. To the mystic fire mountain!
Be ready! You must be level fifty! Run run run!
What about Machoke and Rhydon?

What about Machoke and Rhydon. I wonder.
Rock Pokemons, we must travel South! It is where our earth auras […]

6/4/2014 15 comments

Happening

by survive25 6/2/2014

written by survive25

This year I will be 25. I have been obsessed with suicide since my abusive childhood and have known I wanted to do it at age 25. I was raised with insanely high expectations. Long story short, I was beaten by my parent whenever my grades were below 99%. I wasn’t allowed to have friends. I was timed everyday from when I left to house to when I came home. No tv or phone calls, no christmas presents or magical princess birthday parties. Just school work and sleep. I’ve been punched, kicked, beaten with bats whenever I tried to stand up to myÂ parent. I’ve beenÂ calledÂ me […]

6/2/2014 4 comments

My Story

by looloolady 5/25/2014

written by looloolady

All i remember from my childhood is fighting. There was so much hatred in my familyâ€¦in elementary school my parents got so bad i was scared i’d come home and my dad would be dead. He used to threaten it all the time. I remember things getting broken and walls being punched along with windows. My mom would constantly take me and my siblings away and threaten to not come back we’d stay at her best friends house but i began to get absolutely sick of it in 6th grade my parents were arguing so bad my dad walked to my brothers elementary school and […]

5/25/2014 0 comment

When…

by induetime 5/25/2014

written by induetime

I lay in bed feeling lonely…my days go by feeling lonely…I’m surrounded my people that ‘care’ for me and ‘love’ me- yet I still feel lonely…I’ve just realised how fast years go by when you feel empty.

I have so much to give and I try so hard yet no one shows as much back! As hard as I try it’s never good enough, never a nice word of encouragement but words of hurt and degradation are out on me. I try and try…but nothing- it’s all loneliness, emptiness and worthless!

That time will come when I’ve had enough and I end all the pain and suffering! […]

5/25/2014 4 comments

Anxious

by stranger01 5/22/2014

written by stranger01

This might be a rather long introduction, but I think it’s necessary.

I’ve been thinking of ending it all rather frequently for the past few days. I guess it all started when I started going to college. I originally chose to major in Biology, but changed it at the last minute to medical laboratory science. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Being in college, I was a rather normal guy. I got a girlfriend and had a bit of fun (being hormone-addled, young and all). That’s when I got my first suicidal thought. We were both afraid she got pregnant. I thought about […]

5/22/2014 11 comments

A Man’s Requirements by Elizabeth Barrett Browning < umm wow?

by Slava 5/13/2014

written by Slava

Love me Sweet, with all thou art,
Feeling, thinking, seeing;
Love me in the lightest part,
Love me in full being.

Love me with thine open youth
In its frank surrender;
With the vowing of thy mouth,
With its silence tender.

III

Love me with thine azure eyes,
Made for earnest grantings;
Taking colour from the skies,
Can Heaven’s truth be wanting?

Love me with their lids, that fall
Snow-like at first meeting;
Love me with thine heart, that all
Neighbours then see beating.

Love me with thine hand stretched out
Freely — open-minded:
Love me with thy loitering foot, —
Hearing one behind it.

Love me with thy voice, that […]

5/13/2014 2 comments

by dead 5/12/2014

written by dead

I dreamt about you last night and I miss you so much it hurts. You are never coming back and it’s ripping me apart. I need you, or what you used to be. Have you not checked up on me in years because you fear I killed myself? I’m so so so sorry. I don’t have much to say, I really don’t feel well. All I can feel is the feeling of being stabbed constantly in my gut, the shakiness of my hands, the elevated heart beat and fast paced breathing. I don’t know what to do and if I had one wish granted […]

5/12/2014 6 comments

This is my first post. I hope it doesn’t suck too much.

by RavenSoul 5/11/2014

written by RavenSoul

The deeper I cut,

The more I cut deep.

Deeper and deeper I cut.Â

The more I cut,
The more often I cut,
More and more I cut.

The more scars I have,
The more fresh cuts come,
More and more fresh cuts come.

When there’s not enough blood,
I cut deeper and more,
Deeper and more I cut.

When my cuts stop bleeding,
My head starts spinning,
Slowly, slowly I die.

My eyes see blurry,
My eyes see nothing,
Nothing, nothing I see.

I lie down on the floor,
On the hard cold floor,
Cold, cold is the floor.

My heart pumps fast,
Not long will it last,
Fast, fast my heart beats.

My body feels heavy,
And then it feels light,
Up to […]

5/11/2014 3 comments

I Tell Myself

by LetItGo 4/26/2014

written by LetItGo

“Keep it in
Don’t let it out
You have to be strong
You can’t be weak
You have to move on
Don’t let them see
That you’re in pain
Don’t let them notice
That you’re slowly breaking
Don’t cry in public
But instead in your room
With the door closed
The music blasting
So they don’t hear the sobs
They can’t hear the screams
Though they never would
Even without the music
Because the screams you scream
Are silent like the night
You can’t let them know
You have to go on
Live on being strong
Don’t trip and fall down
Because there is no […]

4/26/2014 3 comments

WHERE DO I FIT IN?

by Hospital For Souls 4/20/2014

written by Hospital For Souls

I’m tired.

Life’s for those who can handle it.

Not me.

Suicide is for those who are brave enough to bid farewell.

Not me again.

So where do I fit in?

I’m closer to suicide. The pills, fast trains, slim blades, deep oceans – I don’t want to be here anymore.

I can’t endure anymore pain.

4/20/2014 14 comments

Why does everyone abandon me?

by Aaron The Panda 3/31/2014

written by Aaron The Panda

So basically people are absolute dicks head in my local towns, like I am a pretty normal guy except I love metal I have long blonde hair and I tend to fuck things up quite easily, and I don’t even know how.. Like my ex girlfriend I had loved her for over 2 years and when I finally worked up the courage to ask her out ( also we were really good friends) to my surprise she said yes 😀 but then everything fucked up real fast, she said she didn’t like me anymore, since then it has been 2 months and she has ignored […]

3/31/2014 3 comments

Strength or weakness?

by vanitati 3/19/2014

written by vanitati

I have been consumed with thoughts of suicide. Tonight I was crying to ask my brother to shoot me in the head. As serious as could be asked. I wanted to say it so bad. Even after his prodding “you can tell me anything” questions.

The tears flowed but I wouldn’t give in. I was so close to just blurting it out but I couldn’t. I had the restraint not to tell him. I don’t know what I feared more, thought of him saying no but then even more if he said yes. I feared his yes because I honestly feel as though I would […]

3/19/2014 1 comment

Corporal Punishment

by Eturion 3/17/2014

written by Eturion

Just wondering what do you guys think of corporal punishment? When would you say that disciplining a child constitutes abuse?

I don’t think I can say that I was ever beaten as a child, but I was certainly slapped. A lot. The hardest I’ve ever been hit out of discipline left a red mark which lasted about 6 hours and then disappeared.. which isn’t bad at all. Personally I think the main issue for me was the emotional distress it caused rather than the physical pain. However I also think the “discipline” I received was a bit in excess.. like how many times would you slap […]

3/17/2014 14 comments

Memories

by steelsasanquas 3/2/2014

written by steelsasanquas

The thoughts came on fast. This was about 10 minutes ago. They have never been this strong in my life. Usually I don’t break down and cry when I have suicidal thoughts but this time I did. I just started thinking about my childhood and playing on the beach with my mom and watching my dad sit around in the ocean. I remembered the small irrelevant things like the one time I fainted when my mom was brushing my teeth. Then I pictured myself now. Actually considering dying. It seems so surreal. Thinking about never being able to touch water again. Never being able to […]

3/2/2014 1 comment

bad poetry bc bored

by deadlynights 2/17/2014

written by deadlynights

if i just disappeared,
would you know?
would you care?
would you look for me there?
i know you would search,
you’d fail, but you’d try,
and you’d cry,
for this horrible loss,
of a shadow that lost
it’s battle with life,
i tried oh so hard,
but i failed,
life derailed,
down the suicide path,
it was painless and fast,
i didn’t want to last,
and now Im gone,
and you cry for me,
you cut deep,
and you weep,
and you lose lots of sleep,
but you slowly move on,
and you no longer care,
about the girl who should not have been […]

2/17/2014 6 comments

Humanity is okay. It’s certain people that ruin a bunch.

by heartcore 2/1/2014

written by heartcore

Kawaii: “Every species pollutes, but only one species tries to stop it. Every species gets sick, but only one can figure out why and stop it. We can’t run very fast, yet we are the fastest living things on the planet. We’re not very strong, yet we can move mountains. We have no wings, yet we’ve flown higher than any animal can imagine. Our voices aren’t very loud, yet we can talk to our brothers on the other side of the planet, even further than that. I have seen more than the keenest of hawks, gone faster than the quickest of all cheetahs, moved more […]

2/1/2014 50 comments

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