Sometimes I feel as though I bother you with all my personal problems. I feel like I annoy you.. I don’t want to add stress on you because you don’t need it. I just don’t know what to do. It’s either you or the internet. I’d choose you if i knew for sure you could handle it.. I just don’t know what to do…
Tag:
feel
I feel so alone.
I know im not though, im surrounded by friends, a thing many people wish for and want.
But i feel so dead inside, I don’t feel happy underneath that grin. I act like a joking clown and don’t take many things seriously. In return, when i am serious, they don’t take regard of it and over look it as one of my jokes. I’ve tried telling them that i hurt, that im sad and pitiful and it makes me hate myself because i don’t deserve pity but, once again, they brush it off and walk away. I act like a hero when i […]
it’s very easy to say don’t expect and be happy but no matter what the ones we love.. we expect from them or some things are expected from us and no matter what you do your whole life trying to fulfill those expectations..you fall short! you disappoint and you feel really fckd up inside like you aint good enough and slowly slowly that takes over your mind and consumes you and you realize that it’s better to die than not be good enough!
broken
i feel broken
i feel in pain
all i want to do
is be numb
so i cant feel the pain
just be numb.
I think I have come to the conclusion that my social awkwardness has gone so far as to affect my relationship. I just can’t seem to communicate with him. I tried talking to him again last night. No extreme drama from me this time. Well at least I don’t think. Anyway, I told him that I just felt like a huge failure and that I can’t find any good worth in myself. I have been hearing from my mom for many years how she almost died giving birth to me and how her pregnancy with me was just terrible because she gained over 40 pounds […]
In four days, it will all have been an entire year.
One year since I nearly commited suicide.
One year since I found my girlfriend here and she saved me.
And it’s that date, 27th of January, that I chose to make my final decision: Wether to live, or to die.
really quick recap of my life so far: I’m 17 years old. I’ve never been really a happy child and have a mother who expects a lot of me (though that has gotten better for some reason). My dad is a weird old person who lost his dad when he was twelve and his sister to […]
It’s one of those mornings that you wake up. Wake up numb. Numb and empty. I can’t even make sense of my thoughts right now, because there are none, but, at the same time, too many things are rushing through my head.
I feel nothing, I feel loneliness, I hate myself for missing him like this. The numbness stabbing at my heart. He’s done enough, don’t be stupid.
I woke up with that feeling of knowing that your voice might break if someone makes you talk right now. But I don’t want them to know I’m dying little by little inside, fear and insecurity taking over me.
Stare […]
I dont know how many of you feel misunderstood by sheeple and what I like to call educated fools. My life has been filled with sexual abuse at a young age. Being brought into the world by an unstable 14 year old mother who really has horrible choice in men. Family that’s in denial of their sick and twisted faults and continue to pass on the demons from generation to generation instead of cutting the head off the snake. Mental illness and being able to read people for who they really are but still give them the benefit of the doubt because of […]
At the moment that I am typing, I am quite drunk. Unlike all the times in the past, for the very first time, I am actually drunk for a good reason. I am not drunk because I am depressed. I am drunk because I am actually happy. I will be able to tell by tomorrow if I will be okay though.
I was making this IHOP shots (50% of Butterscotch Schnapps + 50% of Crown Royal Whiskey shot.. and then followed by orange juice) . It is actually quite tasty. After about 7 to 8 shots..you feel this feeling of FREEEEe……dom. Anyway, I am quite conscious […]
Hi Guys,
Welp its day 11. I just want to thank all of you who stuck with me. No this is not a goodbye note, but just a thank you. Your comments (well most of the comments) helped me and comforted me. 😀 So thank you especially to Michael, OnlyLOVEisReal, and The Koji, you guys have helped me so very much and I hope you continue to comment on my posts. 😀
Another note thing is that I do post poems, but sometimes they’re at random times, and I’m sorry for that, and so maybe you don’t see them. So I just wanted to put that out […]
So, I’m about to return to school in a few days, and I’m supposed to contact my counselor upon arrival to set up our first appointment of the semester. But I’m torn. You see, I’ve already gone way over the “limit” of visits supposed to be available to students, so I am beginning to feel like I have no right to continue going. Plus, it’s been almost a year of consistent visits, and at this point, I feel like I just talk in circles, but my level of depression remains consistent, even despite changes I make in my life. I am trying so hard, but […]
it’s not a big problem, sorry. And I would have discuss it in a chat, but hey, it’s blocked here at my work.
Why on earth do I always feel so stupid, disappointed and empty when I ask someone to see me, and they can’t ? Really ? My mind knows it’s not personnal, but I can’t help the feelings. I rarely am courageous enough to offer activities to people, and when I do, it’s always like this. Well, maybe not always, but you know what I mean…
Okay well first of all Hi my name is Karalyn and this is my first post so yea, hi!
I am 12 years old [pretty young for this website I know..] Anyways,
I was at the mall with my older sister one time, and I wanted to go to Hot Topic, But every time I ask.. My sister would say “You’re a freak for walking in there and wearing their clothes” I don’t know if she notices but it hurts me and that’s one of the reasons I cry to school. I feel that everyone just thinks that I’m a freak who wears all black and band […]
I’m at this pout in my life where I’m not sure who I am or even how I feel and why I feel that way. I don’t even know if I’m a good person or a bad person. I’m not sure if I’m still depressed I think I am but I’m going to try my hardest I guess. Goodnight u guys, god bless.
I know nobody here reads my stuff but i still write hoping it helps my thought process. I told him everything sat night and of course he didnt take me seriously. I even had the gun cocked and ready and he just ignored me then took the gun when i had laid it down because i was crying. The next day he put it back where i had it like nothing happened. Why doesnt anyone take me seriously? Or am i that much of a failure that i really wont succeed in taking my own life either and its that obvious i suck at everything […]
Like I’m just trying to find activities to fill time until it’s all over.
every time I felt hopeless and just generally dejected I would cut myself and feel the pain and feel so much better! right now I cut myself deeper and longer(length of the cut) but still feel like crap! what the hell is wrong with me?
I am one of those people who feel good when I cut and injure myself. I have done this for many years and have Gotten so good at hiding it. I can’t stop doing it. It’s
Like I need it to feel. I just don’t cut anymore, I now slice my flesh off. I know I’m not alone doing this type of thing to my self but I bet I have been doing it longer than most on here. Lol
I wish I wasn’t so tired all the time. I just want to go perminately to sleep.
I can’t stop the need to kill myself. The only relief I get is cutting, and now I want to strip the flesh from my body so I can try feel at piece. I would like a time when I don’t have death on my mind and have a time of piece without killing myself.
The thing that make me doubt the most about killing myself… it’s that I fear I would not really get this relief feeling that I’m searching for. You know, you’re in pain, and you just don’t want to feel it anymore… but I think that when you’re dead, you don’t even realize that the pain is gone, ’cause you know, you’re not alive to feel it. If I could be guaranteed that there is something after death. That there’s another world where you can enjoy not to be alive anymore… i would be gone for a while now.