Tag:

feel

1 year later

by TheGlassChild 5/29/2014

written by TheGlassChild

Here I am. 1 year later. This post is the continuation of this one : http://suicideproject.org/2014/01/times-running/

Tomorrow, I’m supposed to decide if I can possibly ever be happy or not. If I can, I can’t think about suicide ever again. If I can’t be happy, I start planning my exit.

I did put a lot of efforts in the last year, to feel better. I took a lot of risks and changed a lot of things. I do feel better than I did last year, but sometimes, I still want to die.

I’ve been through some serious heartbreaks and I’m still in a major depression. Taking pills. Seeing […]

5/29/2014 2 comments

is it just me?

by rainbow123 5/29/2014

written by rainbow123

Every time I seem to like someone its strange.. like when I’m not with them all I do is think about them and get butterflies in my stomach when they text or something.. But when I’m with them I don’t feel anything towards them, it’s kinda like nothing.. like all I see is a person and don’t feel anything. Does ayone else get this?

5/29/2014 0 comment

I just wonder…

by Mary Love 5/29/2014

written by Mary Love

I wonder what would happen if I just said goodbye. If I just went away…I haven’t been happy since daddy passed away. He was the only one that made me feel loved….How do I get better? How do I release? My wrist craves the nick of a razor but I just can’t give in.

5/29/2014 3 comments

Beaten But Not Defeated

by tylar 5/28/2014

written by tylar

I had an appointment with my mental health team again today, or something that resembled that, as it was agnes again, the women who’s job a monkey could do, which sounds cruel I know, but she studied for what three to five years to be a counsellor, yet displays no professional skill, its like talking to one of my mums friends, or some women who just walked in off the street

To be honest I was in a mood, she started off by saying ‘what a lovely day, good day to get some washing out, do you ever hang out washing’ I didn’t reply, so […]

5/28/2014 3 comments

Doing it

by Undead101 5/28/2014

written by Undead101

Somedays I just feel like finally doing it. Just swallowing that bottle of pills on my nightstand or climbing onto my room and diving head first into my concrete driveway, maybe taking a kitchen knife a locking myself in my bedroom ..sliding it vertically down my wrist. My life is an endless circle of nothingness.

Wake up, get dressed, brush teeth, grab backpack, jog to bus stop, go to my seat, arrive at school, go to homeroom, go to 1st period, go to 2nd period, go to lunch, go to 3rd period, go to 4th period, get on bus, walk home, eat, do homework, get online, […]

5/28/2014 3 comments

failure

by thedrowninggirl 5/27/2014

written by thedrowninggirl

Just sinking so low. I haven’t written in my journal (which I’ve kept since I was 15) since that night. that fact in itself scares me. I don’t want death, I’m certain of it, not when my head is clear. But I just urt so bad, nearly every morning I wake up and brace myself for the wave of misery, hope it’ll be over fast and won’t keep welling up on and off all day.
I am… no nice way to put it, I am a failure. I’ll be 29 tomorrow. I ave never been able to have a relationship in my life: just the […]

5/27/2014 1 comment

this world is a filthy place

by kitty_31999 5/27/2014

written by kitty_31999

i hate this world

people dont care about our feelings, im depressed i would never off myself even tho everyone around me makes me wanna kill myself, i dont feel sad, i dont feel anything, we are saving our selves from this world, we are making the world a better place for everyone. i dont like it here but i need to be here there was a purpose to my birth, i just dont know what it is. if you get sad dont cut, right what you hate about yourself on a piece of paper then burn it, just burn it and you will never see […]

5/27/2014 2 comments

A weird question…

by Blubaron45 5/26/2014

written by Blubaron45

Do you think it’s worse to feel sadness all the time or to feel numb all the time?

5/26/2014 6 comments

Pum never makes sense.

by Pum 5/26/2014

written by Pum

I’m quite isolated from other people my age; I’m shy and feel uncomfortable around other people quite easily. I never go out and do things with friends. I have casual friends who i talk to at school, I have no real “good” friends who i regularly see out of school.
I used to get depressed quite a lot, mostly last year though. I haven’t really felt depressed in two almost two months now, though suicidal thoughts are a constant threat.

I am almost finished school, and I catch up with friends most days. But once I get home or they leave, I just feel empty. […]

5/26/2014 5 comments

Baby Don’t Cut

by Runner 5/26/2014

written by Runner

I know your heart is hurting

You think the road has end

You may just feel that blade your holding

Is your only friend

But baby don’t cut

Baby don’t cut

You can do anything

Just promise baby you won’t cut

5/26/2014 0 comment

I wish I had the courage

by CataplecticChaos 5/26/2014

written by CataplecticChaos

I hate my arms. I’m covered in scars. I smile and pretend I’m totally fine, I laugh and I joke. Among my friends I’m the one who cheers them up, gives the best advice, makes them laugh. Do they genuinely feel close to me? I don’t feel close to them. I don’t really feel close to anyone. I can’t let people in.

I was doing a good job of it recently, I was opening up. Light was shining a little in my life. Just a teeny bit. I pined for years. I pined and I pined and I pined. Finally last year I realized my pining […]

5/26/2014 0 comment

Trying

by looloolady 5/26/2014

written by looloolady

I tried to overdose last nightâ€¦well kinda I tripled the dosage your supposed to take of ibuprofen to see if that would rid the pain i constantly feelâ€¦it did though and made me feel good.

I was also called a slut by my best friend and L got pissed at me for taking so much ibuprofen he kept telling me i would die if i took that much and i told him i didn’t care he told me i needed help and threatened to tell my mom. He never did though which is goodâ€¦i don’t enjoy my mom knowing the pain I’m going through. Also my […]

5/26/2014 0 comment

What’s wrong with me?

by Alesana 5/26/2014

written by Alesana

I admit I don’t have the greatest life. My mom is the shittiest person alive, no one actually cares about me they just pretend they do then treat me like shit, I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever been close to, I’ve been through abuse of every kind, I have a lot of health issues, I have extreme anxiety and depression, and I’ve never been given any reason to like myself so I don’t. But there are definitely people out there who have it worse than I do. So why do I always feel like I want to die… nothing can really make me happy anymore and […]

5/26/2014 1 comment

Can’t do it.

by lbf2 5/25/2014

written by lbf2

I started talking to this boy named Michael since I was in 7th grade & he was in 9th.. All was good we went talking off & on, he was so in love with me but we had never officially met in person so I was kind of iffy & kinda pushed him away.. Years pasted by & once I started high school he was a junior of course & me & him started to get close again.. But the times we hadn’t talked he had got a girlfriend & they had been together for 9 months.. & I was sure he was in love […]

5/25/2014 1 comment

Done

by Done 5/25/2014

written by Done

I just feel so done lately, done with everything and everyone.I get in my car to drive somewhere and I just want to take my hands off the wheel. The thought of growing up absolutely terrifies me. I feel so depressed, and I want to go to the doctor, really I do but she told my parents last time and I would literally quit if they found out. I’m just such a private person, I don’t like big groups or other people. I absolutely detest with a fiery passion being told what to do or being mocked for being “grumpy”. I’m overweight, so overweight and […]

5/25/2014 1 comment

Fear

by someonelikeyouknew 5/25/2014

written by someonelikeyouknew

It’s hard to imagine after a month of this calm, now that the time has come, I can feel so afraid. Standing at the edge like this, I get it. My suicide is not impulsive. It has been carefully planned. A promise to myself I’ve been making for a year. I will be gone by June. The time has come. I’m in my last week and staring death in the face, I feel this anxiety. But then I think of living, just one extra day past my promise, and the panic is just as great. The guilt, oh the guilt. I’m so sorry for them. […]

5/25/2014 1 comment

My Story

by looloolady 5/25/2014

written by looloolady

All i remember from my childhood is fighting. There was so much hatred in my familyâ€¦in elementary school my parents got so bad i was scared i’d come home and my dad would be dead. He used to threaten it all the time. I remember things getting broken and walls being punched along with windows. My mom would constantly take me and my siblings away and threaten to not come back we’d stay at her best friends house but i began to get absolutely sick of it in 6th grade my parents were arguing so bad my dad walked to my brothers elementary school and […]

5/25/2014 0 comment

Xen

by Bisban 5/25/2014

written by Bisban

I wish I could feel. To be alive.
To sense the wind, the breeze, the air.
A breath of fresh air, to finally be one with the cool of life.
To feel, even my own skin. My mind, without boundaries.
To simply be. To simply be…

I am not alive, the essence of life stripped from me.
Zen. To simply be. Please, the portal of air.
Zen. To simply be. The ultimate zenith.
Breathing between living and dying. Ultimate obstruction and suffering.
Time. Transmuted forever, the supreme giver of salvation.

But I cannot breathe. Please, help me.
The so-called Beggar. The feathers. The staff. And my white […]

5/25/2014 0 comment

When…

by induetime 5/25/2014

written by induetime

I lay in bed feeling lonely…my days go by feeling lonely…I’m surrounded my people that ‘care’ for me and ‘love’ me- yet I still feel lonely…I’ve just realised how fast years go by when you feel empty.

I have so much to give and I try so hard yet no one shows as much back! As hard as I try it’s never good enough, never a nice word of encouragement but words of hurt and degradation are out on me. I try and try…but nothing- it’s all loneliness, emptiness and worthless!

That time will come when I’ve had enough and I end all the pain and suffering! […]

5/25/2014 4 comments

is this all there is?

by serenity21 5/24/2014

written by serenity21

Now at 23, this summer will mark a full decade of long standing depression, at least from the clinical diagnosis. I can’t remember my emotions any younger than that, since my upbringing was filled with abuse and solitude. I find myself wondering, is this it? Year after year I find myself surprised at how time passes and the fact that I’ve managed to unhappily Â live through another year. And it scares me. Will I just be floating on through life like this until I’m forty, fifty, sixty?

Though I’ve only been in treatment (meds, psychologists, hospitals) Â for five years, I don’t know what more I can […]

5/24/2014 2 comments

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