to believe in yourself, you have to find what makes you laugh,life,love
” it takes courage togrow up, to become who you really are”
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I feel that I can’t take it anymore I started getting my affairs in order last night I am writing my letters to the ones I will leave behind. But I stop and wonder why even write them anything I sit alone day after day as if I am the only one here anyways so would it even make a difference or a affect on them if I am no longer. If anything it would probably  relieve them of any burden I cause in their life’s. That’s what I am the burden in this thing called life but I call punishment. I try each day everyday to fight […]
When I first started feeling depressed and suicidal I didn’t go through with ending it all because I held onto the hope that things will surely get better, and I could find a way to fix everything. That was 5 years ago and I’m still waiting for things to get better …….
I’m running out of reasons to wait…
I’m tired of everything. I am 21 and can’t find a job. I failed out of college when my mother was in the hospital and now my dad calls me a wasted investment. My family doesn’t have a car and I can’t get to a job even when I find one. My **** of a sisiter treats me like a piece of dog shit and calls me stupid when I was going to pay a neighbor to take me to work.
Truth is, I have always been depressed since being hit regularly as a child, whether it was with hands, leg casts, or something else my […]
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on,
‘Cause I know I don’t belong
Here in heaven.
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I’ll find my way
Through night and day,
‘Cause I know I just can’t stay
Here in heaven.
Time can bring you down,
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
Have you begging please, begging please.
Beyond the door,
There’s peace […]
Ever since I was little I would write letters to the people in my family who had died. I write my dead cousin alot. I tell how much I hate living. I tell her how much I hate my life, how my mother picks my sister over me. I told her about my trip to the suicide ward. Its strange how just writing it down can make it feel better. I wrote to her yesterday about how I have a plan to kill my self and I have a note writen out just for when they find me. I write to her because she is […]
I am seriously considering suicide if i dont graduate with my class this year because it will completely screw up what’s left in my life. I have already written letters and sealed them for the people i want to leave a message for. They are currently in my book bag where im hoping they will find them when/if it happens. So i guess this isn’t exactly my suicide note but it’s close i guess.
I can’t think straight. This won’t be long. I’m abused, and while typing my hands are shaking. I don’t know where my life will go. My parents will arrive from their works later and my mini hell will begin. I need someone but I always find none. I don’t know where to go. They’re slowly killing me. Help. Help. Fuck. Damn. Darn. Help.
like the title says I’m tired of this life. I’m 37 years old. I’m drowning in debt. I’ve lost my career. I used to be a teacher and really good teacher. One day I asked sleepy students to stand. He stood I moved the chair away from him and he immediately sat back down and fell. My assistant said I pulled the chair out from underneath him. I was charged with assault on a child under 12. The child doesn’t speak English and his account the story doesn’t match mine or my assistant’s account of the story. I was decorated teacher and my career is […]
So I just experienced the worst part of my day. Waking up. It’s 1pm and i just woke up. I was dreaming. My favorite pass time.
I honestly don’t enjoy anything else in life. Dreaming is an escape from life…from the depression. I can’t seem to find joy in anything else. I stopped taking my depression medication. I honestly didn’t see any difference.
whaterver…
My heart hurts from all the pain, so much that every beat leaves me with a sense of fatigue. Im just so tired of it all. I feel like its just me here alone looking inside myself trying to find something but the room is getting darker. i need some light.. some hope so my heart could medicate. Its been through so much trauma dont know how much more of it my heart could take.
Hope all of you are able to have a good day today. I’m going to try to act normal as my mother is already in a bad mood for some reason and I’m in a bad mood and if I show any sign of anger I get chewed out.
anyway, to those of you whose mother’s have passed, rest in peace and I hope you can find some joy in the day.
I have now concluded the first chapter of my short, indecisive life. The gates to all the winding paths, that had once been closed off to me, have been destroyed and now just their ruins remain isolated in my memory.
Only my body has the power and strength to take me where I am destined to travel. My mind is forbidden to make any more choices. I will not let myself depend on anything but the simplicities of life and the natural beauty of the untouched and untainted wonders.
I now walk whatever path I happen to find myself on, without any pretentious guidance and […]
I’ve been waiting for years, for just a little bit of peace in my life. I have been trying to find my way, to make different decisions to help better my life. I have cut out a lot of negative people from my life, and despite having done that I’m still not happy not even a little. It feels like I’m in some sort of in between, sometimes I look up and see my life and wonder how I got here. I started crying again because I just don’t understand why I can’t find peace. I can’t stop loving or missing people from my past, […]
is my mothers birthday and the anniversary of my fathers death. I haven’t said happy birthday to my mother in 7 years. It is not a joyous day, so I don’t think there is any point in saying it. It makes me feel horrible but I literally can’t find it in me to say it. And Mother’s Day is not too far behind. Worst daughter of the year.
I want to die, tonight. But, I’m afraid that someone close would find me. I want to raid my family’s medicine cabinet and drift away in my sleep. But, I’m afraid of the person that would try to wake me up. The sad part is, that no one fully gets that something is wrong with me until it’s something turns into a disaster. But, they will be afraid that it was already too late.
Stopped going to my therapist. Too weird to talk about feelings and getting told to find my inner cuddly-ness. That doesn’t exist.
Always wishing to find the beautiful sound. Oh, man.
The zenith, taken from me. Never echoing through oblivion.
I am transmorse, the metal horse. Cyborg was my cherry pick.
Ultra blast, to the max. Robin, by my side. My life.
I wish to exist in reality.
Spitting in tunes of the lost vibes. Always wishing, to find the next beautiful sound.
Silence. Take me through the valley. Take me to the “Bat Cave.”
For my life. Will you be my Robin. Or the fate of Nightwing.
The song… was the last track.
The title sounds like … Grace Mary.
So beautiful…
suicidal thoughts & cutting have always been apart of my life but when i decided to quit it became extremely hard on me. i had delt with all my problems this way & now i dont have that. i have to find another way of dealing with my problems so i decided to start writing. my school councelor gave me this idea. he told me that i can make it. im a strong person.i suppose… if all the other people that cut & have tried suicide can quit than so can i.
Hello everyone,
First of all, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.
I’m new here. That is, this is my first post here, but I have to admit that I’ve been lurking here for a while. I found this site a couple of months ago or so, and while the fact that this site exists at all makes me very sad, and I sort of feel bad for posting here, it seems like this is the only place where I’d be able ask for advice on something I’ve been struggling with lately. But first of all, I’d like to mention that English is […]