I’ve been waiting for years, for just a little bit of peace in my life. I have been trying to find my way, to make different decisions to help better my life. I have cut out a lot of negative people from my life, and despite having done that I’m still not happy not even a little. It feels like I’m in some sort of in between, sometimes I look up and see my life and wonder how I got here. I started crying again because I just don’t understand why I can’t find peace. I can’t stop loving or missing people from my past, and the people in my future are just as crappy. I don’t even know why  I’m even posting here I guess I want to be heard to be understood. Please LOVE me, SAVE me, CHOOSE me.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
4 comments
I read you loud and clear, Alina.
Your past is just that – something that happened and that you will live with everyday for the rest of your life. No one can truly erase their past, memories and all (except for Alzheimer probably). The future and the people you may come to meet yet could possibly persuade you otherwise and be truly outstanding individuals. Through it all you; you need to love yourself. From what you’ve said you obviously do care about your own well being which is awesome, so don’t hesitate to share that same love with another.
I’d like to help you out if you’ll let me and…not to sound stalkerish or anything…but I’m glad you haven’t put that .40 S&W against yourself yet. As a fellow sufferer of depression and suicidal tendencies, I have nothing but love and respect for you. 🙂
I’ve been waiting over a decade.
I’ve started to believe peace does not exist in this world..at least not at our current rate of growth (or lack there of) I seem to keep finding myself like wise in the same spot with the same pain no matter how many drugs I quit..or people I leave (or leave me) I’m convinced I am broken..flawed..somehow..why can’t I just be at peace? My mind is constantly flooded with images that I can’t begin to express to anyone with hopes that they may understand the extent of my suffering and desperation..
I know how you feel. Maybe what’s important is to stop craving these things. Even though it seems like a basic human desire to want affection from others. Saw this quote when I came online this morning: “If I had a prayer, it would be this: ‘spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation.” For most people it doesn’t seem like a lot to ask for. People desire friends and they get friends. People desire love and they find it everywhere they look. But maybe for those of us who life seems to hate and we can never have these things, we’re better off trying to teach ourselves how to stop wanting it. I have just wanted 1 good friend my entire life. Nothing yet.