I wonder… I long for death.. and would welcome.it if it came so that it was not my who does the deed.. nor would I die without a struggle to go on.. this is in me. As I have proven for the last two years. I showed it with staying with the person who crushes me.. the person who took my sanitty.. or at least that what was left of it.
Some if if was taken by my family but at the age of 26 I was over it.. I mean it helped to meet her… The person who I wanted to marry. Cute, beautiful, sexy […]
From the womb you latched onto my fucking consciousness and never let me go. You injected your venom into my veins and attracted all my perpetrators and literal traitors from friends to the origin of my seed. You incited the deepest betrayal anyone could ever feel – most of all you inspired a betrayal and rejection of myself. Princess Dyana you are no princess to me. In fact you are a whore. A whore that sucked me dry before I breathed my first breath. I will never forgive you or let you go until you apologize for the eternal torment you caused my aching heart. […]
I’ve never been to any forums like this, so forgive me if I make a mistake. Here’s the problem. I don’t want to exist anymore. There’s so many things that are wrong in my life. First of all, I hate myself for this, I am bisexual. Now this may seem fine, but in the place I was raised up in. Gays and bisexual people were hated. I haven’t told my family because I’m too scared but a few of my friends know and they took it in really well. I have one really good friend that knows about my problems, he’s been supporting me a […]
Im horrible Im a fucking *****,When im in public I act like a wretched *****,I make faces and im rude and have somehow some way (probably through using crystal meth) mastered the art of “igorning” people without even saying a word Please forgive Im horrible and I have problems I have fucking problems
I hate my life
Im fucked up,Im wrong
world im sorry im fucking horrible dude
I CANT STOP HITTING MYSELF PULLING MY HAIR OUT HITTING MY HEAD HARD I cant stop I hate myself please just let it end please….
I hate my self I hate what ive become god forgive me please just let it end…held a knife to my skin made a mark please no more please help I hate this I cant go on please god please im terrified this is what my life will be now .. please I need help. I hit myself when no one is around im terrified disgusted guilt of failing I want this […]
I know I’m supposed to forgive, or else I won’t be forgiven. I know I’m supposed to pray for those who hurt me, but it’s not always easy. I’m having flashbacks of things my parents said to my brother and I
No one will ever want you
When you move out, don’t come back
You’re trash
You’ll never be anything
You’re a motherfucking piece of shit, you know that?
And did
locking him in a closet
making him sit outside for hours as they kept the door locked
“Spanking” us until they saw blood
And more. I don’t want this to affect the rest of life, I want to forget, but I can’t . I […]
I’ve been thinking a lot lately and maybe life isn’t for everyone. I mean life is too hard for me. I put myself in my parents shoes a thousand times and I just don’t understand why they treat me the way that they do. Even more questioning is why I care about how they feel…but I admit I do care how they feel. I know what it’s like to hurt and I wouldn’t wish that even on those who caused me that pain. And i know that it won’t hurt them.They have other kids and already have grandkids from my half sisters. There is actually […]
In two weeks I will be, once again, living in Phoenix. I rented an apartment and bought a bed. It remains to be seen if this return after 6 months in Mexico and 3 months in Los Angeles will be any different from the last stay here (August 2013-14).
I can’t seem to drum up any real excitement. This is a financial move. I’m sure you are all tired of hearing about how I fell into this deep depression and how much I just want to have this life be over and sleeping without loneliness, depression and physical weakness.
Forgive me if I bore you all, forgive […]
I wonder how far in desperation I’ve fallen to resort to this online community to vent my feelings.
I’ve looked up many ways to cope with depression and anxiety, but everything just sounds so fake and cliche..
Things like “don’t give up hope”, “relax your mind”, etc.. Am I the only one who thinks this way?
I can never take advice like this.. it’s sooooooo cliche and shows no compassion whatsoever.. well what do I expect.. I was just one WebMD for this shit.
How do I even cope with this misery? And why can I never like myself and forgive myself?…
I am the youngest in my family. I’m not close to anyone in my family except my brother (1 year age difference). When I was born I had two older (half) sisters who were about 8 and 6. I remember getting blamed for everything. They used to frame me and nobody ever believed that I was truly innocent. Even now, when they’re young-adults and no longer live here, I get blamed for anything bad happening in my parents life. I guess it’s easy to blame me. My father has a horrible temper and my mother has a personality of a mean school girl. This is […]
As I sit here typing with shaky hands, I can only think of where I’ll wander when I die. I want to know what it’s like to not have a worry in the world, where the stresses created by my own mind cannot reach me. A fifteen-year-old mind should not be thinking this. But I have lost most of those I care about, either by death or by abandonment. I’ve tried time and time again to “just push through it” or “just be happy.” But it isn’t that simple. Not at all. I’m ravaged every night by nightmares that leave me screaming for someone, anyone. But […]
I think about myself and the world but l can’t understand why we are here then l decided until I’m alive never,never think about this things again.
Even though my life is like a black hole and l want die but life doesn’t stop
But when i was near to the death my friend from the school give me a message about their music concert
I don’t want go but he insisted and l think that is not bad to do something new therefore while i wasn’t sure about that, l went and when it began my heart began to throb, Music is wonderful it’s my reason for […]
I know I want to leave this life and all, but I’m scared of what will happen after I die..
In the family I grew up in and what I’ve been taught and so on, is that if there is indeed a god, he would send you to hell for taking your own life. In different religions it’s different outcomes, but what if I do take my life and I do get sent to hell..i’d be forced to keep reliving my life. The life i’m trying to get away from.
I always thought if there was a god, and if you did take your life, he would […]
Today during lunch I ran into my mentor Mrs. S, (if you read my last post then you would know that I’m kind of hesitant to see her.) Anyways I ran up to her and hugged her tight, she wanted to see my progress report, and she saw I was failing Algebra 2, so she grabbed my hand and took me to math tutorials, an pushed me in the room, my feet were sliding across the floor. Lol. Everyone was looking at me, i tried leaving but the teachers blocked the door. After 10 minutes of arguing I sat down and Mrs. S sat there […]
Im so angry and frustrated right now. Why me? Why has this been my life? I never asked for any of this. Those were my thoughts and feelings for some time. I was angry at god. I was angry at the world. I was angry at my parents for the childhood I was robbed of and the issues I got because of it. Not anymore though. My anger or frustration is all directed inward now.
Why cant I get better? Why cant I get past my childhood? Why cant I let go of all the pain and hurt that haunts my every thought? Im not a […]
Hey, I’m pretty fed up right now.
I never talk about me, I suppose in that sense I’m a bit of a martyr, always trying to please others and sacrificing my own life in the running. Im pretty lonely if honest, I have 3 children, and a partner. But I’m not happy, I have no lust for life.
Ive always been cheeky and outgoing, and flirtatious but straight talking, I’ve never played games with people. I’ve always cared for everyone and I feel like I think differently from others.
It’s like I’m in an alternate world at times, were my views and values in life are completely different to others […]
We all make mistakes. Some more often that others, and some worse than others. It hurts both parties involved sometimes and other times only one person cares. But mistakes are a thing of the past. They are something that can not be undone. All we can do is apologize and try to make it up to the person. Try to be better, do better, and hope that they can forgive us. Sometimes I think the mistake is being human. Being…at all. Our lives are doomed from the starts someday we will all die somehow and we spend our entire lives just screwing up until then. […]
Be strong and be the best person you can be. No one can ask any more of you. It’s alot easier to place blame than it is to forgive. Learning to forgive others is what takes true strength. Also, and most important of all, learn to be able to forgive yourself. Im such a preachy douche, lol.
I really messed up with the girl I love she will never forgive me for what I did. She was the only reason I kept going in life but not she is gone Im giving in to my pain I need to end it. My story ends here.
I’m turning 19 tomorrow but I feel like my life is over. The one person who I was close to is having her funeral a few days later. No one else matters to me anymore. I’m thinking of just ending it today but I know she would’ve never forgiven me. I wish there was another way but I can’t help forming these thoughts in my head. And to think, it would be so easy. The pills are right in the other room. How hard could taking an overdose be? The only thing that’s making […]
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