The judge in my told me today in a meeting that my rapist might stay free because it’s so hard to prove rape in a relationship! Are you serious?! Fuck you, you don’t realise how much of a downward spiral you’ve just sent me in. Fuck you.
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I’ve become so familiar with it and it’s so on and off I have called my depression Sebastian. I have been following this site for a long time now and have recently realised that it is just another anchor I must set myself free of if I have any hope of recovery.
To anyone who decided to pay attention to this I thank you and bid you farewell.
– whathaveIdone
This Loathsome test of life, that nothing is in my hand
except the power to take away my own life
My heart does not desire what i want to do
and i stop myself from doing things that i want to do
My mind is not mine to think, what i want to think
God, why are you testing me with pain
O Sadist, Do you want to give me pain
even bigger than the pain of this life
Or are you waiting that i get so disappointed with life
that i take my life by my own hands
So that you can get a […]
So here I am at 19, on a page for releasing thoughts of suicide or just flat out depression. Manic, major, whatever it is that gets to you.
I have had an awesome life so far, I’ve done so many things, and I have seen so many things. But these past few weeks I’ve just gotten hit hard with depression. The past couple days I have contemplated suicide. So tonight I tried it, I tried hard, but i can’t bring myself to do it. I had a belt pulled around my neck as hard as I could possibly have it, and I’m glad I couldn’t, because […]
With All of My Love………………….
Its better this way, it really is. I don’t think I will ever be able to explain how pain filled, lonely and useless I have been for so many years. Living is a complete hell for me.
No one I know would wish such pain on an animal they love and, would indeed, put the poor thing out of its misery. It would be selfish to compel it to go on living. If any of you ever have to experience this deep misery, you may, at last understand it takes courage to go against the natural inclination to live and thrive. The […]
Just letting some randos know that I’m going to end it. Gotta act fast, as my condition is worsening, and I can already barely walk.
I’m going with a drop-hang. Can’t find a gun.
I’ll be sorry for whoever finds me, but at least they’ll have something dramatic to talk about with their friends. Imagine the mawkish, self-serving Facebook post! So many likes.
I’ll be especially sorry for my mother. My poor, hardworking, lonely mother. I am all she really has, and I am worthless: if I don’t end it, she continues to suffer through my deteriorating health, and if I do, I also end her life in a way.
But, I […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
As the name suggests, I was so lost with life so many times. I think someone on Suicide Project chat introduced me to this song. The lyrics pretty much described everything I felt perfectly. I made a piano cover of the song, but feel free to listen to the original version and let me know what you think of the lyrics.
I cant take it i had enough i got a gun and tonight i blow my brains out. Everyday is the same shit and i cant take it !!
So good bye to this life and to being invisible !! I will finally be free and just sleep forever…
I feel like I’m withering away.
Rotting from the inside out.
My body breaking down and I’m going into shock.
I can’t feel anything anymore.
There is no life left in me.
Not sure why my heart is still beating and my eyes still seeing, my fingers still touching, and my mind just wandering.
Around in circle until I can’t remember who I am.
I’ve forgotten.
Or had I ever really known?
It takes courage to take your own life.
To let yourself drift into nothingness.
Into the unknown.
To leave your family, your home, this life.
But this home is no longer a home.
It […]
I really need a safe (free ) anger outlet that no1 will notice around me (parents /friends ) bcoz I have a LOT!! of built up anger that one day I’m afraid I won’t be able to control and I’ll direct towards the wrong person and it’s just not good so can someone help me ?
just email me and you can give me your number or I’ll give you mine. I got free long distance
Locked in prison with no escape,
keeping track of long lost days.
Where will my weary soul reside,
when there is nothing left inside.
Who will wait my painful soul,
whose actions make me a fool.
Can I ever live with myself,
or in darknesss dwell.
Can the light of truth free me,
or all alone will i ever be.
The fate of my life is long gone,
for I have done to much wrong.
There is a boy,
inside he is sad,
he keeps it bottled in,
and this makes him mad.
Why cant the world see,
the pain that makes him be,
no one to understand him,
he wants to be set free.
The world is not right,
and his mind just collides,
theres no disfinct reason,
for why he burns inside.
Nothing to him is clear,
he sheds but a single tear,
it trickles down hs face,
over his cheek a moderate pace.
It falls through nothingness,
the nothingness he feels,
to hit the ground,thud,
with that tear, he disappeared.
and yet I am, time after time, just sitting and rotting away in my dingy apartment. I read, and view all types of media and see how vast and spectacular this world is yet I am confined to a mental prison that I cannot be free of. Why was I born like this? Why do I interpret and perceive things the way I do? I’m always asking questions, to which a complete answer will never be revealed. Sometimes I feel like I’ve experienced my good and bad fair share of things, and that everything I feel from now on will just be dwindled, lesser versions […]
So.. they told me I’m cancer free, and YES I’m so happy for it, I’m still dealing with my depression and anxiety problems but everything is working well.. I guess.
I met this guy, he’s like me. Depression, anxiety and Schizophrenia is what we have in common. I love him, I’m so in love with him that makes me sad, because he’s giving up and I don’t know what to do. Everything I say or I do is for nothing because he doesn’t care, and he don’t care the fact that it was hard for me too and I’m dealing with it.. and he doesn’t believe, […]
I recently started working temporarily at this store where they set “goals” for each employee as to how many garment bags they sell and how many new customers they can get signed up for the store’s rewards program. It’s all a load of crap if you ask me.
These don’t even deserve to be called “goals” because 1. I could name about 1000 things that are more worthwhile, 2. you get no kind of reward if you actually reach this goal, and 3. it’s entirely up to the customer, not you.
The best you can do is ask if they want the bag, ask if they want to […]
. there is no way I can turn my life around. I’ve failed and I’ve accepted that. I didn’t think I’d even make it this long. At some point soon, I will go into the ocean, and finally be free. Ive accepted that my time is done. we can’t all be saved. time to let go