and yet I am, time after time, just sitting and rotting away in my dingy apartment. I read, and view all types of media and see how vast and spectacular this world is yet I am confined to a mental prison that I cannot be free of. Why was I born like this? Why do I interpret and perceive things the way I do? I’m always asking questions, to which a complete answer will never be revealed. Sometimes I feel like I’ve experienced my good and bad fair share of things, and that everything I feel from now on will just be dwindled, lesser versions of things I’ve already felt. Things like status, wealth, relationships just don’t make sense to me, life doesn’t make sense to me, repetition doesn’t make sense to me. I can distract myself all I want and that’s basically what all my life is… a distraction until my inevitable end.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
4 comments
i like you man.
You should take a look at the bojack horseman show (i don’t know why your writing reminded me of it). I do agree with you on the dwindled versions of everything, and you might not be wrong about it, but there are infinite variations to be had in those dwindled versions, and who knows, one might stick. You are not the only one feeling like it’s distraction after distraction tho.
I hear you. I was kind of like you. The big key is to not be afraid to fail.
As a man, I was real clueless of life in general and women, especially, but I wasn’t going to let my fears hold me back, and I wasn’t afraid to get a little banged up.
It’s all like how I learned how to swim (despite being afraid of water and almost drowning as a kid): Sink or swim. The lifeguard was there and I just thre myself into the deep end and forced myself to learn.
The only way you learn is by trying and the only way you gain ground is by going to war.
Wow, I feel like I could have wrote this almost word for word. Me and you, we don’t see the world like most people do. Our lives become burdensome because the world is made for everyone else, but not us. I see the world as one big ball, with gravity being the chain. I got so tired of how society works that I totally opted out of it, became a reclusive hermit, and disassociated myself from this world. I had to because the world does not validate me. I use to hate myself, like i did all my life, but I got tired of it. So i disassociated from love and hare. I just hate the situation I’m in and hate how I feel and the fact that I can’t kill myself sooner than I want to. It doesn’t involve self hatred, but a desire to stop suffering.