I have a 2yr old and 4yr old and I never thought I would be in this place. However I’ve been sick too long now. I’m tired of doctors visits and fighting. 5 days that’s when it started the desire to just disappear. After all one moment of pain for my children can save them from a lifetime of watching their mother die. My husband building more debt and being my babysitter. All I’m becoming now is a pathetic meat sack anyway. So what’s the point. They will blame it on the tumurs in my head and my family will be free from me. There […]
Tag:
free
I got bored, so tried to use catch phrases from users on a Salt post, feel free to ignore.
by Procel
written by Procel
F uck you I’m not breaking,
I t doesn’t matter how much I’m aching,
G ritting my teeth to stop them shaking,
H elping hands always there remaking,
T he smiles and the laughing creating,
T he Fuck you I’m not breaking,
H ead to toe I may be quaking,
E ven then I won’t brake.
D epression will keep you awake,
A sking yourself “whatsa matter, is that all you can take?”
R ight so you shout “let’s see how far it can go” despite what’s at stake,
K nocked down, you whisper to yourself “get up, just get up” praying to the trinity,
N owhere […]
I am the girl waiting patiently for her turn at the throne. I’m the girl that’s tired of feeling alone. I’m the girl who sits on the corner at parties, watching everyone as they go by. I feel like I’m already gone. Helping others as they go along. But then there’s another part of me. This girl is caged, waiting to be set free. She is tormented and controlled. Her body is shaky and cold. She screams but no one can hear. She is left in a room of despair. She takes to the needle like a baby with a bottle, the past ten years […]
I’m the last person you’d think to be on here. I have a lot of friends, a boyfriend, and I’m super involed at school. On the surface I’m everything I want to be, but underneath I’m a mess. I have family issues and issues with peers. I have to keep telling myelf three more years than I’m free, but everytime a glimmer of hope appers it gets covered up by a dark cloud. The worst part is I need help, but I’ve given up on finding it because when I reach out people usually turn the other way. I’m just tired or trying, tired of […]
I don’t want to hurt my family, but I am in too much pain to carry on. I was never meant for this world. I feel so alone and lost. I just want my soul to be forever free.
Everyone crys or hurts after a break up. If you don’t, than you didn’t really care anyway. If I tried to off myself after every relationship that went sour, surely it would have worked…
You really can get over these people. It just takes time, depending on the person. The boy I dated before this guy, we were together a year and a half. I thought I loved him, but I loved the idea of him. I was lonely and in a new city. He offered me free drugs, had a nice car, and put up with my drinking. The sex was awful, but what did […]
I already posted this before, but I think I need more support.
A person using the name Earthly Constraints on this website says it is inevitable that she is going to commit suicide. Her post is here: http://suicideproject.org/2015/05/the-inevitable/
Please write something, anything, to show that we are concerned for her. Earthly Constraints, I wrote this to some other people, but here: Love this […]
A person using the name Earthy Constraints on this website says it is inevitable that she is going to commit suicide. Her post is here: http://suicideproject.org/2015/05/the-inevitable/
Please write something, anything, to show that we are concerned for her. Earthy Constraints, I wrote this to some other people, but I want to say it to you, too. Love this world where there is so much love in it. You…you don’t have die to be free. I know that what you are dealing with may be extremely hard, but you must keep fighting the darkness with light!
I know that you said that your suicide is definitely going to happen, […]
Well, I will uh, I’ll keep this concise. I am admittedly young. I am old enough to realize that I have feelings for members of the same sex, and, when my parents found out, indeed, my dad broke into my phone and found my boyfriends contact, we’re not happy. Their supposed perfect son was…. Undesirable as far as they are concerned. They have tried to get me to fix my “lifestyle” and “help me though this phase.” As it is, this is just…. Breaking me. I physisically cannot fathom how who I care about can make me undesirable. And while, I have figured might as […]
http://anaditeaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/the-absolute-the-mystery-of-non-being.pdf
I wish I could believe in God. I wish I could convince myself that there was some omniscient, all loving being with the power to guide me and influence my circumstances for the better. I wish I could believe that there was a perennial force looking out for me and giving ubiquitous company. I wish I could believe that everything concludes with justice, that those who commit significant transgressions receive a punishment proportional to their crime. I wish I could believe that there is meaning in suffering, that the pain endured produced a reward to make it worth it.
I wish I could believe that life […]
Today I volunteered at a free kitchen. It was reasonably satisfying.
Now, rather than feeling depressed, I feel alienated at all levels – social, familial, spiritual, material, physical, personal, etc. Everything that previously held meaning for me seems utterly meaningless. Only the avoidance of animal discomforts – cold, hunger, pain, loudness – has any glimmer of motivation; even achievement of animal comforts – warmth, satiety, comfort, quiet – seems irrelevant.
Is this an improvement? I’m not sure.
Is alienation treatable? Also not sure.
You complete me, T
I want to fill your ass with semen in it’s entire T.
Yes you inspire me, perhaps it’s your sensuali T.
Yes, you will see, it’s your oppourtuni T,
I need to embrace thee. There is no shame in modes T,
I need to say what is true to me. You are the pinnacle of sexuali T.
I will be your tree, anchored with roots of stabili T.
Whether you are he or she, I will stay by you for eterni T.
I love you to the the 3rd degree, and all of your ecentrici T
So come let’s be free from the restraints of socie T
Live with me in […]
I’ve been bipolar since forever, but the last six months have been getting progressively worse regarding suicidal thoughts. It is literally all I think about. My problem is my kids – they are 9 and 12, and I can’t put them through the trauma I would cause. They are the only thing that makes me happy, but at the same time, I resent them because they are the only thing keeping me here. My therapist thinks I’m actually thankful for them, but I know better 😉
I wrote a poem about my kids and my situation. I’m no poet, but maybe it will resonate with someone:
Cursed […]
When you express your will to die, all we get in response is the common “Dont do that you have so much to live for ” :It will get better” “There are people who love you” but I gunna say this plainly. It’s our choice, dont try to stop us….it’s our free will. “When things come falling down, we’ll do what we want to” -sws
Dreaming about having a boy’s body. Walking around with toned arms, flat chest. And I’m happy and free, ya know?
And then I wake up in a foreign cage. And the family thinks I’m a possessed “girl.”
Rather be dead than live a bloody muddy ruddy fucking lie.
Sometimes I forget the password and I am unable to log onto the Suicide Project Website. My struggle feels like a sign and I find it as ironic as a fortune cookie. “You will be the light in someone’s life.”
I sit here,
staring at this screen,
while another version of me
bleeds out in the tub down the hall.
I envy her.
She is the one who is free.
She is happier than me.
No matter what I do she will not accept the fact that I want nothing to do with her.
I rue the day we met.
Only my death will release me from her. So will die. Will miss my son but he is better off without me.
It feels like my chest is caving in. I can hardly breathe. Moving is difficult too. There’s this…disconnect…happening between my soul and body.
My soul needs to cry and release some of this emotion but my body refuses to allow it. My soul scratches at the doors to leave my body and yet, nothing changes. How do you escape your own body? The scratches from within are beginning to show. Random marks are showing on my body. I don’t recall scratching myself or bumping into things.
I can feel my soul trying to die but my body just isn’t responding. The stress of school, work, the anniversary […]
I guess the only thing holding me back is the curious fear I have of whats next. Is there a heaven like all our grandparents say? Or is there just black nothing? Will I linger and watch the aftermath, because that just might be worse. To watch all the ones I love suffer…. but at the same time living is a burden to them. I don’t know….what do you guys think happens when we are set free?