I know, haven’t been op SP for a long time. Things doesn’t really changed. Monday I’ll have my intake for the 24/7 therapy. And I’ve been cutting the last time a lot more and deeper. I really hate this world, my life. It’s so fucked up. I really wished that I had a deadly car accideng or so. But, I hope I’ll be more on SP the next time, because it really helps me. A next post will come soon.
Today I told myself every thing’s okay, and that if I don’t think about the future it will stay that way longer. Why do I give myself false hope. Why am I still trying. I know hope is lost so why am I faking. You know what one of the worst feelings is? The feeling that someone could be dead or someone could die and it’s all your fault. When people say I’m going to kill myself because of you. That’s not okay. I was in a relationship where several times the other person said goodbye and that they were not going to be alive […]
That’s it I’m giving up there’s no benefit from being here the only thing I do well is screw up so I’ve decided to kill myself before I fuck up again so I say goodbye.
I think that’s the way to go. Â I’m talking 600+ feet from the ground onto pavement. Â It’d be scary as fuck but you’d probably die before you even hit the ground. Â Much better than hanging in your garage or becoming a vegetable from a bullet to the head. Â It’d be gory as hell but who gives a fuck. Â Thoughts?
Those of us who can’t get N are left to hang or blow our brains out. Â Is this what the world is all about? Â Fuck everything. Â FUCKKKING FUCK!! Â Lol this life is so fucked up it’s comical.
And accidentally kill some other people, or end up on life support for a few months, courtesy of the American taxpayers. Â you did a wonderful service removing my post.
I have searched and found every registered sex offender in my area and like to write their name etc on the street they live on so others are aware and they live there. I never touch the property and do it at 3am at night. My daughter who is 23 got raped the same week I did but she is still suffering horribly. I know this isn’t directly related to suicide but maybe the pain we suffer that makes us feel self hatred and want to die can be fought back against. What others do to us deserves justice, not for us to hurt ourselves […]
So I was at my father house planning on making breakfast when 3 police officers came in and said basically you can either come voluntary or were going to force you. I didn’t run cause I would it would be a criminal charge and I would go to jail and then maybe prison for some bs cause I’m on probation. So I said I’d go voluntarily so here I am I the ER chillin. I’m glad I have insurance cause no doubt they are going to bill me. The psych -some Jewish guy named Ira- came in after a few hours and talked to me. […]
So wait is every suicidal person a mopey 14 who’s still a virgin what the hell is so wrong with the damned world that children want to die really what in fucks name is going on with the world.
My mother is still physically and mentally abusive. And she never use to be abusive at all but i dont really know what happened. My mom has said hurtful things to me like telling me im a fuck-up and im worthless and also that nobody likes a little girl with scars. Not to metion the physical abuse so bad that i wish she would just kill me right then, but anyways i just cant bring myself to hate her and i still care about her dearly and i even drained my bank account to help pay for her surgery and prescriptions. Is there something wrong […]
I don’t understand why I feel this way. It’s like no matter what I do I am still a pathetic worthless piece of trash who deserves to be beaten and raped. I am 22 now and my life should be better I haven’t talked to my step dad in 7 years. I thought I was better now. Last spring I was raped by two strangers and ever since I have been lashing out at people. I want them to hurt me because if I star it then the only person I have to blame is me… The down side is that now I just want […]
arguns is not the focul pnt of this one sorry
i told my mates what was wrong there solushion get drunk im allredey pisst off my head the hilite of the evning them geting a girl to sleep with me it was clere she was uncomfortabull i askt and saspishions were coret thay got her drunk and pestid her tell she gave i told them dan says “ok” terns “will aney one shag my mate hes been rejetid” well thanks dan so yer never trust your mates
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
fuck.
I have officially decided to make sure I kill myself this time. I don’t know exactly when, but it’s going to be soon. Â The only time I’ve tried it was around 6 months ago. I took a pack of razors to the alternative school I was attending at the time, went to the bathroom, and started cutting my arms. I only managed to get through the first layer of skin at first. I knew this wouldn’t be enough to bleed out so I took the razor and started slicing into one of the long wounds I had already made and I hear a knock at […]
This is my first time posting on here… So I’m alana I’m 15 years old and I’ve been depressed/suidical since about the beginning of 6th grade. I’ve been bullied my whole life being called fat, ugly, *****, ect…. People made me feel like shit and made me cry myself to sleep about every night. I started cutting in seventh grade when I got called fat. Is was the first time . It go worse cause I tried killing myself by choking myself it never worked. 8th grade year I thought would get better but it didn’t I started losing friends , guys pushed me into […]
I was in love with this boy. He had black hair, bright blue eyes, and scars on his arms. He held me in his arms everyday I saw him. He grabbed my hand when he saw hopelessness in my eyes. He kissed me when I felt alone. What else could I have asked for? When we were in bed naked, lying next to each other, he’d kiss the scars on my arms. The bruises on my hands. The burns on my wrist. I was in love, so deep, that I would have never imagined the day to come that he’d no longer want me. Love […]
I finally decided after almost a year to seek some help again. The doctor had a cancellation and was able to bump me up for today rather than two weeks from now. While talking i realized that I can’t open up. I’m always vague when i try leaving the doctor to be vague as well which only pisses me off. Why do I expect the impossible of others to see that I am dying inside? Either dying or slowly going insane. I can’t be left alone anymore. Every time I’m alone the worst comes out. I lose all sense of reality which drives me insane […]
I am so freaking awesome Is what I tell my self when I wake up….
I go Througth my day repeating this phrase eating on every word
And it helps
Till you’re eyes become filled with tear
Then you say ,about five times, fuck being depressed I am fucking awesome.
It helps for an hour or two
Then the words become meanaless
Then you add some humor
And repeat the words I am so freaking awesome
I bet no tears will comeback that day
Your fucks in life will not be giving ^^
Repeat daily …it will help for a while
Death looks pretty attractive right now. The other night I went up into my attic looking for some guns my parents have been hiding. I fell through the attic and busted up my leg pretty good. Needless to say I feel even worse now. The last two days at work I haven’t been able to stop myself from crying. My supervisor gave me an extremely simple straight-forward assignment and I can’t do it. I can’t focus or concentrate on it. I’m stupid and worthless and lazy. I don’t deserve a good career. I don’t even deserve a bad career. I deserve no career. I fuck […]
“In the end
As you fade into the night
Who will tell the story of your life
And who will remember your last goodbye
Cause it’s the end and I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid to die”
I’ve been really angry and full of hate lately, It makes me feel like crap when I take my issues out on the people I’m close to because nobody knows about the thoughts I’ve been having except the people on suicideproject and one person I know who doesn’t talk to my family and friends, I guess because they don’t know how I feel they don’t get why I’ve been […]