Well today is my birthday. The only reason im putting it out there is that I really didnt think I would make it to 40. Now im here im happy about it. Im proud of myself for not giving in to the destruction of addiction and keeping on trying to stop using no matter how many relapses I have. Im glad that I haven’t comitted suicide. The thoughts of ending have abated and I have found some things to live for. Im glad for new people in my life, no matter where they are. (Oops I think im writing a gratitude list). Thank u to […]
Tag:
giving in
Help me if you can
Its just that this
Is not the way I’m wired
So could you please
Help me to understand
Why
You’re giving in to all these
Wreckless dark desires
You’re lying to yourself again.
Suicidal imbecile.
Think about it.
You’re pounding on the fault line.
What’s it gonna take to get it through to you precious.
I’m over this.
Why do you wanna through it all away like this?
Such a mess.
Well I don’t wanna watch you
Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at time.
What’s your rush now?
Everyone will have his day to die.
I don’t know what to do. I want to so bad, I want to just quit, but they called me selfish, they called me an attention-seeker and that’s just made it worse. I’m done. I’m giving up, giving in. I don’t care anymore. Why should I care what they say if I’m just going to die anyway? I’ve thought about it for three days now so don’t fucking tell me I can’t.
I know it’s recommeneded to not give out your name, but honestly right now I need a friend. I need someone. Anyone. I feel hopeless, broken beyond repair. My name Is James.
I’ve tried to die multiple times now. Times where I just snapped and gave in, others where I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I couldn’t take the abuse and the bullying. It’s left me completely broken. I thought it wouldn’t get worse.. But it got much much worse..
Lately my whole life has been destroyed. I let myself love again..and It only ended in pain. I let someone get too close..told them things about me […]
I started smoking cigarettes a few months back and found myself becoming addicted to nicotine (as you’d expect). I find that giving in to the addiction helps, when you’re craving something and you get it you tend to feel better, even if just for a short time. The idea is based around something I saw in trainspotting, the main character says that when you’re on heroin all you worry about is scoring and when you’re off it you start to worry about a whole lot of other things. I know there is a great difference between a heroin addiction and a nicotine one but they […]
I guess I’ll just start from the beginning here… I found this site while looking up suicide information, and I guess you could call this my last resort.
I’m 18 years old, raised under an abusive mother and a father that loved me but never stood up for me and my needs. The last age I can remember not being depressed was probably around 12 years old. I’ve been told by my family and friends that I need to simply choose to be happy, but that simply isn’t working for me. I know I’m sick. I hear voices and have episodes where I forget who I […]
I don’t know how much longer I can stand the uselessness of my life.
I hit a lot of those success markers. Â I am 30. Â I have my own place, car, job, life. Â I’ve had a number of intense long term relationships; my ex of a six-year relationship left me in October. Â I have a large group of friends who are, frankly, some of the very best people on the planet. Â I am loved by many. Â I have a Master’s degree in a field where there is at least some work. Â I volunteer. Â I create.
And I just feel done. Â You ever make scrambled eggs and just […]