Help me if you can
Its just that this
Is not the way I’m wired
So could you please
Help me to understand
You’re giving in to all these
Wreckless dark desires
You’re lying to yourself again.
Think about it.
You’re pounding on the fault line.
What’s it gonna take to get it through to you precious.
I’m over this.
Why do you wanna through it all away like this?
Such a mess.
Well I don’t wanna watch you
Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at time.
What’s your rush now?
Everyone will have his day to die.
retrospectivesuicidalepiphany, NICE! It’s true, force myself! feels like your marching to your death! it took time for us to get to where were at, in that hole, it takes time to get out! to reverse the self destructive process, i did it long story, but when i completely destroyed myself i realized i made a boo boo 🙂 and all i did was make things worse! yeah makes since don’t it? destroy yourself then you have nothing to live for then you can kill yourself!!! brilliant! but really that’s not what you wanted in reality, you just wanted to be happy, so when you reach that point you realized your were living a lie, now what? rebuild, repair the damage you done, it’s easy to tear things down rebuilding is hard, OK their you are face the music and do your time step by step rebuild! that means suffer! as you gain ground be proud and realize your on the right tract, no choice! become a fixer that’s what your living for now! 🙂
Its honestly just lyrics to one of my favorite songs. I’m not trying to fight anything. I’m simply tired of being here. Stuck. I may have a day or two where I can laugh, smile, or even eat and hold the food down. I’ve not been able to hold food down for a while. About 4 months. I eat a meal once a day. It does not matter what I eat, every thing comes right back up. I’m over being a plaque to everyone.
retrospectivesuicidalepiphany, don’t understand? are you ill?
Not physically. Doc says stress induced. As well as ptsd complications. I just don’t want to be here anymore.
retrospectivesuicidalepiphany, you are here so quit thinking about not being here, i do that myself, but i return to reality i am here so……. i do what ever i can to make it better, having a hard time eating? i’ve done that too! you can concur that! first off if you don’t feel like eating don’t it’s ok your the boss, don’t worry if other people ask why you aren’t eating, that’s your business, eat a little eat what you can, save the rest for later and when you feel like eating it, it’s your business, i found eating with everyone else was not what i liked, i like eating alone, that’s what i did, now i eat with people around or by myself. been though it and concurred it.