So, I found out that one of my friends that I had made a gift bag for didn’t like me, so I decided to mark out her name and put Trevor’s. Well, I didn’t get to give it to him. I went to get my trumpet, and he was in there with two of his friends, Jack and Jacob. They were pointing at my friends, calling them names. I said “If anybody points at me, it ain’t gonna be pretty!’ And of course, all three of them pointed at me. Trevor was closest to me, so I stepped up to him (OH MY GOD HE […]
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God
I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I had a dream about Trevor. It was wonderful. It seemed real. I could smell his cologne, hear his voice. Anyway, it was beautiful. I’m leaving my trumpet in the band room again so I can see him again. Maybe I can eventually get his number… 😀 God, I hope so. I used to be too scared to talk to him, but not anymore. I love talking to him. He’s awesome. Seriously. Anyways, I just hope that I can at least become good friends with him. That would be great. Then maybe I can start to build […]
Feb. 8th I tried to kill myself. I have never attempted anything like this before, but God knows I have been thinking about it for way too long. I was down stairs doing some practice cuts on my wrist, just to see how hard I needed to press and figure the whole mess out. The first cut was quite demeaning. I think one drop fell out, so I tried again in a new spot, harder this time. This time I got a good amount to come out. As I was getting ready to go even deeper and harder I dropped the razor blade and it […]
I hate my brain. I just thought you should know if your brain is telling you that you should kill yourself, you’re not alone. If your brain is trying to  give you images and visions of how great it would feel to tighten that rope around your neck and you know that its wrong, you are not alone. They’re really seductive right? These thoughts are the true “siren’s call”; a call for eternal peace and an escape from pain. I’m lucky though. I have a thought that I’ve trained myself to repeat. It is this, “Today is a test. Tomorrow might be a test too. But it […]
So, here are the lyrics to my song, as promised. I call it “Something from the Nothing”
8 years old, she’s beautiful
Loving life and all its flaws
But she doesn’t understand the pain to come
And now it has begun
*Chorus*
Little girl, close your eyes
Don’t give into the lies
You are so beautiful
Can’t you see?
See everything you can be,
And everything you’ve become
You can still turn it all around
I know you’ll make it somehow;
Just hold onto something from the nothing in your heart
12 years old, nothing to live for
She’s given up on life
Wants to leave this world
All my life I’ve been bullied. My parents don’t give a shit about me. I’ve been told, and now thoroughly believe, that if i killed myself, no one would give a single fuck. Now, I’m not going to run out in the middle of the street and jump in front of a car going 80, but say I were, for some reason, laying in the street, and a car were coming, I wouldn’t move. Growing up, I was afraid to go to school. I would play hookie because I didn’t want to be spit at by the popular kids. I was beaten and made fun […]
My friend Tennyson.. Actually, I like him. And he knows that. But he doesn’t like me. I know he doesn’t. He said so. Anyway, on the bus earlier, he pulled out a pocket knife and cut himself. I could literally feel my heart ripping itself apart because there was absolutely nothing I could do. I told him to get on facebook, but I doubt that he will. The worst part is that I heard his friend say, “Well, why do you want to kill yourself?!”. I don’t want him to die. God, he’s been going to therapy.. I don’t know what to do. I love […]
Hey everybody, I’ve been here off and on for a month or two. First off, I’ve met a lot of really good people on here. I think most of us SP users are really soft hearted and it’s easy to click with other people here. I don’t know why I’m writing this because I’ve made up my mind and I’m not looking for support or crying out for help. Hopefully someone out there that also feels like shit will read it and maybe get something out of it.
I’ve lost 3 people this year and my cat that I had for 7 years (I count that […]
i am the nothing man. i carry doom and gloom as my closest companions. i have no talent, no goals, no desires, no hope and i can’t wait to die. the one thing i do have is family and friends, and honestly, that is the reason why i’m still breathing on this god forsaken earth.
at random times throughout the day i visualize a bullet penetrating my skull and blowing my brains out. it feels more peaceful than anything else that i can imagine. to end the suffering which is my mind would be liberating.
i tried for many years to blame the injustices of […]
my life is one that i have come to consider utterly pointless. i never finished school (due to vicious bullying) so had no qualifications. my depression stopped me from completing collage courses that i have tried three times to do. i am considered unemployable due to my lack of qualifications and experience, so i’ve never had a job.
i cant even get a job scrubbing shit off toilets
so for the past 4 years i have been confined to a house that i share with my partner. i haven’t a friend in the world. (mostly due to the fact that my partner is a jealous shit who […]
Call me obsessed. Call me a whore, a slut. But whatever. You don’t know how I feel. I was called so many names when everyone knew that I liked Trevor. And then they got all mad when I started liking other people. Some people actually said “God, you like everyone in band, don’t you?”. I hated it. That’s part of why I put walls up. I was sick of other people trying to lord over my relationships. It’s none of their business, anyway! And everybody got all mad at All-Region tryouts because I was talking to him. And laughing. And, uhm, he held my hand. (Actually, […]
be straight up I suppose…. My names Serena , I’m in 7th grade at Bemidji Middle School , I have a smile on my face most of the time(= , but everybody knows im ‘depressed’ , because …. I cut myself , a lot… my legs , my arms , my wrists , my stomach…. It make’s me feel better. I don’t know what else to do! , I ALWAYS get called a ; HOE , WHORE , **** , ***** , FAT , UGLY , WORTHLESS , ATTENTION WHORE , DUMB , BOYFRIEND STEALER , etc.. It sucks , a lot , I don’t […]
lets disect the question because it doesnt actually.make sense since it implys “nothing’ CAN create itself,.while.’something’ cannot. it fails to explain what exactly defines “something” and “nothing” . with this logic, asking why theres.” nothing instead of something” is just as invalid because it fails to explain why nothing is any.more possible than something. saying somethingcould create it.self.from.” nothing is impossible. there would.have to be something that was use to create that something. on the flipside saying nothing could be created from something is impossible. creating nothing from.something would actually just be the absence of something. if something was there to begin with, […]
I found the light, but I don’t have a fucking clue what to do with it. XD I really don’t. I’m not joking. I’m happy, but I feel like there’s got to be something more to it than this. My head is spinning from all the ideas of where  to go with my life now that I’ve cleared the road.  I just don’t know. I feel deep in my heart, somehow, I feel like I need, yes, I said need to tell Trevor what I feel about him. Strange, I know, but since I gave my life to God, I get these feelings sometimes, and when I […]
rope, beam, stool, sits in a cardboard box, so a friend committed suicide by hanging, wife found him strangled on a beam located in master bedroom, been thinking about doing similar thing except its just me in the garage, my dad died when i was young, thats when i learned the true meaning of death, meaning your not coming back. told friends “hey i want to kill myself” in junior high, and high school, they looked at me weird yet it didn’t hit me as weird to do so. even my teachers noticed in my writing while doing essays in class. then i realized maybe […]
Light
Will someday split you open
Even if your life is now a cage,
For a divine seed, the crown of destiny,
Is hidden and sown on an ancient fertile plain
You hold the title to.
Love will surely bust you wide open
Into an unfettered, blooming new galaxy
Even if your mind is now
A spoiled mule.
A life-giving radiance will come,
The Friend’s gratuity will come –
O look again within yourself,
For I know you were once the elegant host
To all the marvels in creation.
From a sacred crevice in your body
A bow rises each night
And shoots your soul into God.
Behold the Beautiful Drunk Singing […]
I used to joke that even if you lose everything …your money, your friends, your self respect… you always have sleep. That’s not even true. The nightmares, replays of each horrible day, are worse than my days. Sleep, once my only savior, is now just another one of my cruel enemies beating me down at every opportunity.
So each day I grit my teeth and wait for it to be over, and each night I lie awake waiting for the sun to come up. There is no escape from my diseased mind, except to blast it into 1000 pieces. God bless gunpowder.
Hi my name is leeann iam 28 my life is not how i want it to be iam a sweet girl and my family is not happy about it i do so much for them some times i just want to go and end my life its like there no reson for me to be here if they no want me  i driven them around go to the store for them do this and that and nothing no thank u or any thing.Iam so tired of my life i cry and cry very nite and i cant even talk to them about any thing cuse […]
Know how I came across this site? I googled, “How to disapear.” And I was brought here…
I was having a bad day, I suffer from depression and today just wasn’t good. I saw my friends and was just in a terrible mood and felt like everything was falling apart. My friends are always busy, I get mad at them for no reason, and sometimes I just feel like Im falling back into this deep, dark place that I used to be about 2 years ago. But then I made my favorite tea, put on my favorite movie and came across this site. And it really […]
My name is Rodney ,
When I was born my father didn’t except having a son and left my mum all alone my omother tried to abort me but then an 11 year old boy at church told her not to. I really dnt belive in Miracles.
As I got to the age of 2 my mum would just leave me alone home in darkness going out with different men. My childhood was awful I saw some things that have scard my life By the time I was 5 years old I could not speak so I had to do surgery it only made my life worse […]