All this fucking shit that has happened to me has played serious hell on my health. My work is extremely exhausting and I’ve been spilling more tears than I’ve been able to drink water. I’m about two metaphorical steps away from an actual emergency room visit. Some of you already understand how bad it is.
But the point is that the choice to recover is eminent! I can’t let myself sink so far off that it takes my life. I’m not done with it, there is still so much to do and see.
I’ve got 3 days off of work.. So I’m getting desperate for […]
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gonna
When I first found out that it was love, real love, I couldn’t wait to tell her. I knew that she would be so damn proud of me, cause she always wanted the best for her little boy. And yes, she saw the struggle I went through in my younger years. She knew that I didn’t want to live my life and that it was simply a cruel joke. She saw all this, my mother. But I stayed strong for her and kept a promise.
When I proclaimed that the time had come..and that I didn’t need to be alone anymore..I told her that I […]
I take pills in order to calm down. Try change that.
I take another type of pill so i do not commit suicide. Try change that.
I cut to make myself feel better. Try change that.
I write down how i am gonna die everyday. Try change that.
The thing is you can’t, and i don’t think you ever will. That is what scares me the most.
Now, I’m gonna be completely honest here.. Please don’t think I’m weird but..
I was sitting over there a moment ago, and I glanced over here..and when I did..
My life flashed before my eyes..
And when it did, I saw every morning
With you by my side..
My material possessions are starting to consume my life
There is just too much shit I don’t need and I’m paying too much for living expenses when I could be saving tons of money. This isn’t survival, and it’s not working. I have some debt too.
Gonna start selling off and throwing away pretty much half of everything. Ill have to give up my fish tank I guess 🙁 I really wanted to keep them for the next 10 years or so but I need to be light on my feet and go where the wind takes me. I need to get the hell away […]
Iv decided that tomorrow afternoon is the perfect day for me to kill my self. I live with just my mom and sister and they’re leaving out of town for three days early tomorrow morning at about 5am. The last words my mom told me is I don’t want you to be here (in my house) when I get back. I’m gonna do something even better for her when they leaves later that day I’m gonna lock my self in my room nail it shut with a nail gun. Then I’m going to shoot myself in the head. She chose some great last words for […]
How do I say bye to the one and only person that I believe when she says I love you? In my suicide note I ask her to never cry for me I beg her so much in the note that this is the best thing for me. I just wanna know how I can say bye in person when I see her today. It’s gonna be the last time I ever see her and when me and her are done hanging out idk how I’m gonna hold my tears in when I’m hugging her goodbye knowing that she has no idea it’s gonna be […]
This is my first. I just have to get it out. All the reasons I hate myself. They make you believe that the happy pills will make it all better. I’ve been on them for three months, and here I am. Still depressed, still alone, still misunderstood. The main reason I hate myself is because I’m addicted to porn. All you people who are gonna say it’s natural shut the hell up and look somewhere else. I don’t care if it’s natural. I don’t care if the freaking pope did it. He’s not me. Do you know what it’s like to be called disgusting by […]
im aaaaaaaalllllllllll alone with rare health problems and bipolar. aaaaalllllllll alone. hopeless and poooor. cant have kids, no sex drive, ED, tired. Went to college and poor. im black. did i mention i was poor? aaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll alone. no sex drive. low testosterone. bipolar. cant keep a job. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll alone. no woman for me. im crazy. i wont live life anymore in a sick mind and broken body. i hate being black. im gonna die
Its been a while. Well not as long as for some people.I have heard stories of some people who have been tacking depression for 10 years, 15 years and I used to think to myself that there was no way I had the strength for that shit. Here I am , about 6 months into severe depression and it looks like this aint gonna go on for too long. Â I even started reading depressing books. People would say that this is the worst time for it. But honestly, reading books about good people being screwed over makes me feel like I have company. Like Im […]
I feel like my suicide is gonna happen this week
through the deepest depths. you brought me back from doom.
you are the carrier, the lasso.
is your spectrum so deep that you will reach.
never uniting, the story of the lost.
Lapras are oh so mysterious, too.
the water universe. the golden age.
a million years under the sea.
Gyrados, the trident.
Polywag, Polywhirl, Polywrath. our mankind.
the butterfly of the dead sound.
what is in the depths of darkness, under the sea.
why is the population of water pok. so low in the vast ocean.
the ecosystem of the lost and mystery.
the ying and the yang. one, versus the world.
celestial princess in our dying habitat.
it’ll be like…… we’re gonna go die……
or….. I just […]
I’m not gonna go out of my way to kill myself, but I wouldn’t really care if something happened to me. I don’t see why I should care. No one else will. So it wouldn’t really matter.
Jesus f***. Seraphim. Skull and the bullet.
Uzi’s and machine guns. Let me join the native tribes.
Get ready for Armageddon. F***, America. The world.
There are no rules. F*** it in oblivion. Where do I go.
Get a pad off, somewhere. I have personal monthly income.
Somewhere beautiful, to go before we die. But where.
The skeleton does not walk. West minister, I need to get the f*** out of here.
Who the f*** is gonna give me a spot. The chance to feel oblivion.
Somewhere beautiful, but where. Anyone?
Why can’t god just take my life already? Iv been through hell my whole life a and once I kill myself I’m gonna go to hell for one of the biggest sins someone can do. I just hope god has Mercy on me when I Â kill myself. I have a pistol with no safety on it and I always have one in the chamber I always point my gun to my head and play with the trigger hoping I accidently pull the trigger all the way and die 🙂 isn’t it sad that the only thing that puts a real smile on my face is […]
Just wrote 3 suicide notes basically saying goodbye to certain people that I know love and care about me forreal. I begged them all in my notes to not cry for me but smile because I’m not suffering anymore. I wish everyone that knows me would just do that for me I mean I’m gonna kill myself because I truly feel like that’s what I have to do to get past this misery it’s never gonna get better I was having chronic depression since I was 8 everyday literally every day till now I’m 22 everyday wish to god to just take my life I […]
Hi guys, I haven’t written anything on here for a long time, mainly because there was some idiot ruining it but hopefully he’s gone now.
Does anybody else on here have the fear of being happy?  Like when something good happens, all I can think is “Where is this gonna go wrong?  Something bad is going to happen” all the time!  Nothing good can just happen without something going wrong.  Recently I’ve had a lot to be happy about.  Things like passing my college course, getting a new dog, my football is going extremely well and it looks like I have a girl in my life for […]
I’m the dying guru guy. A skeleton would have been more exquisite.
A leaf blunt in my mouth. These rotting depths, Seraphim pray for me.
I have never done wrong. In the art of dying. Can you be a next door.
In my labyrinth. Brone, drive me … a little to the east. Set up camp in the land.
I can find a way. This can be, our ground zero. I’m the rotting celibacy dude.
Be a man. And come see me. I’m the dying guru dude.
Be the dude, and come see me.
Haha.
First, we need to crack my egg back to life. There’s […]
Its all pointless? I have no one anymore i dont even know why im posting on here either my lifes pointless and im done with it all 🙁 im gonna end it now forget everyone just do what i want anyway :/ im done with life and im sick of people always trying to keep me here so they feel better and i dont care anymore all my friends have gone and abandoned me too my girlfriend got taken to a psychiatric center and she probably wont get out so here i am alone with all the painkillers i could find and im DONE goodbye […]
Ever since I was a little kid maybe just 5 years old I was always extremely depressed. When all other kids were thinking about growing up, getting a job married etc. the only thing I would think about all day every day is “I can’t wait till I die” I always would tell myself that I won’t live to 18 then I said I won’t live to 21. As a kid my dad was very abusive towards me my mom and my siblings. I have a neurological disorder that makes me grown little bumps on my body. It causes me to walk slightly slanted forward […]