Ever since I was a little kid maybe just 5 years old I was always extremely depressed. When all other kids were thinking about growing up, getting a job married etc. the only thing I would think about all day every day is “I can’t wait till I die” I always would tell myself that I won’t live to 18 then I said I won’t live to 21. As a kid my dad was very abusive towards me my mom and my siblings. I have a neurological disorder that makes me grown little bumps on my body. It causes me to walk slightly slanted forward and speak with a slight speech impademint I was always made fun of and laughed at. People use me for my kindness and make fun of me behind my back when I think they’re my friends but really I have no one I told my mom I was depressed before and she said “your lying you just want attention” and another time she laughed at me about it. People say things get better but they just get worse and worse. I can’t deal with waking up everyday and thinking how bad I want to die. Every time I have happiness it gets takin tofu away from me when ever I think I found a girl that’s gonna accept me and possible help me though this. It gets takin away or it was never anything real in the first place, I can’t keep dealing with this my depression is geting so bad I can do anything know more I can’t study I don’t wanna move because the only thought in my head is “what’s the point I’m gonna kill my self soon any way” I truely believe god want me to kill my self that’s why things like this happen to me. I’m 22 years old and depression had control of my life since I was 5-7 years only I’m almost 23 and I feel like I never once lived life yet. So what’s the point so starting my life at 23 I really need to stop laying in my bed every day and night wishing god would take my life and kill me already. Everyday for more then 10 years the only thought in my life Is please god let me for today! Idk if there’s anything that can help me I tried therapy medications and all that nothing helps it makes me sadder to know that I have to take a pill so i don’t think about grabbing my glock and putting a bullet in my brain. Thank you.. Thanks for letting me share
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*hugs* I ma sorry, you had hell as a young child. I am sorry I don’t know you or your name to see if I know you so I would be there for you. I ma sorry about every shitty thing. I hope you fight the needs, but it’s hard. That I do know .
Are you from. Dearborn mi? If not you won’t know me
It’s too hard to fight every single night. When the only reason you I haven’t killed myself is because of my mom but now she’s the main source of my pain. Laying every night with my gun to my head listing reasons why I should kill myself just keep adding up like a never ending list. And reasons not to kil my self well i Just can’t think of any to live for I feel like this is how I ment to die
I can honestly say I understand and mean it. It’s hard enough having to wake up every day without adding the stress of life to it. I don’t know how many times I’ve prayed for death to take me. Needless to say my prayers have gone unanswered. I am 25 years old and have felt like a waste of space all of my life and if I could I’d trade places with a dying person that actually loves and deserves to live, in a heartbeat. I hope you find your true happiness, whatever it may be.
I would love to give my life to someone who is less fortunate then me but i know I’m just ment to kill myself and i learned that you can’t wish for something to happen you have to do it yourself. So why would I ask god to kill me when I can just put a bullet in my head like god wants me to do
It’s too hard to fight every single night. When the only reason you I haven’t killed myself is because of my mom but now she’s the main source of my pain. Laying every night with my gun to my head listing reasons why I should kill myself just keep adding up like a never ending list. And reasons not to kil my self well i Just can’t think of any to live for I feel like this is how I ment to die
Are you from. Dearborn mi? If not you won’t know me
My mom just told me “you have to leave I don’t want you here” I guess u bother her too much. Maybe I’ll be doing her a favor by killing myself. 1. I won’t be here no more
2. I won’t bother her anymore
3. I’ll finally be happy when I’m dead I’ll finally know what it’s like to have happiness once I’m dead
I read your post and was deeply moved. I don’t know you, obviously, but I care. Listen, I don’t personally believe God wants you to kill yourself. You are here for a very important reason, even if you don’t know yet what that reason is. Perhaps the reason you have been miserable all your life is that you are an empath and have been empathically taking on the pain of the world. Your soul and spirit may be doing profound work that your conscious mind is not even aware of. Please don’t rob the world of your special presence. No matter what you have been through or how much you are hurting, you are a valuable and loved being. And the propensity for drastic change in life is amazing. God is able to do exceedingly more than we can ask or imagine. You see no answers, but they are there. When a seed is planted it seems like nothing is happening because we can’t see what is happening on the other side until one day, tah dah! Breakthrough! Please look up the book The Healing Code. This easy method of healing was divinely revealed to man whose wife had tried EVERYTHING to cure her intense depression and nothing worked except this. Please try it before you do anything to harm yourself.
Peace and love to your entire being.
I don’t see any answers my whole life has been the same and it hasn’t ever changed I always tried thinking positive but nothing works. Iv tried so many things nothing works I can’t excel in anything in life any more Because if my misery. By the day things get worse and worse. I was a ambien addict and have been clean for about a year and I relapsed the other night and still even with very high dosage I’m still not sleeping just thinking about dying or finally commiting suicide