Why are we here? All I have seen that life is as a heaven as much as a hell. Why are we here? I have seen good, but view hate and sadness much more. Why are we here? For some, they in happiness over other. Other live to stay alive. Why are we here? I want to know! Why are we here?
When I’m gone from Pitch Perfect“When I’m gone, when I’m gone. Your gonna miss me when I’m gone”
Or at least I hope you will. I hope that once I’m gone you see the good thing we shared.
I thought you would be the one who actually cared
But I guess not
There is a feeling in my chest of emptiness
Did you cause it? No..no you did not.
It is all my fault..Everything is my fault
I am always to blame..I am sorry
I am sorry I cry, I’m sorry I cut
I’m sorry I even lie..yet I have to
I have to hide how […]
Things are getting crazy here.It’s too dangerous.We can’t trust anyone, people are driving me mad.I think I’m completely insane.Take a look at them, they’re everywhere!.Look at them, looking at me, filling my mind with paranoid thoughts.Talking about their stupid lives, talking about me.Whispers.Pretending to be nice with me.Pretending they do care…
They try to fool me, saying I’m cool and my life is worth living.Lucky me.I know the truth.It’s sad but it’s the truth.I’m planning to get the cooking gas tank, inhale and IT’S OVER!…they don’t know.
Can I trust myself? ….
…
Things are getting really really crazy…
i just realized that i stayed up the whole night drinking and doing nothing. its 7 AM. and i’m quite drunk. is this bad? I’m usually pretty good about my alcohol consumption.
I really want to die. To much is changing and I don’t like it. I’m probably getting coupled by a good friend I kinda have crush on that I don’t want to accept because I’m a philophobe…
I want to hang somewhere now 😕
I’m sorry about all the things I did in my “youth”. I made the stupid decision to push you away back when SP chat was so popular. I made a stupid comment saying I committed a grotesque thing that meant I would get banned from that community and sort of shunned. It was for the better, although only because I was on the chat for far too long. I bet it’s either dead now or only 2 or three people left on there.
I can’t think of all the names of my old friends of whom I miss dearly, but yet somewhere in my mind your […]
I have it so good. Its just most the time I focus on the shitty stuff. Like today I just told myself “why are you deppressed? Even though you have no friends, you just got all A’s this year, and now you can sit on your ass and play video games all week” and I actually felt a little bit better. its a lot like sprinting ahead of the storm cloud above your head, but you know when you get tired it will catch up.
Giving someone false hope is the worst…
I don’t know if anyone reads this, I hope so.
I don’t know what I’m feeling, I’m empty. I’ve had a depression, It’s been gone, but now I think it’s coming back. Last time I had it was actually around christmas, I wouldn’t live anymore. It’s wierd you know, being happy about life,but then some things happen and boom, you just want to die. In January I told my teacher, that I’ve been sad in a long time, and that I wouldn’t live anymore, that I didn’t care about anything or anyone. Luckily I have this really good friend, she told me to talk with someone, […]
I’m so tired of this life. I’ve never felt comfortable in any situation and I seemingly can’t make anything work. I never feel like a normal person, never have. Even if by some miracle things are good, I find a way to destroy it just by being my uncomfortable self. I’ve done this so many times that now I’m just too tired to try.
I haven’t worked in more time than I’d like to admit. I’m 35, will be 36 at the end of the month, and I still rely on someone else to support me because I just can’t bring myself to face another rejection. […]
I’ll admit it, I still think about her every day. I don’t want to. The memories are wrong, twisted. They don’t bring a smile, or a feeling of joy. They just bring me down. The happiest moments of my life, and they are all fake. Oh, at the time I didn’t know they were fake, but now I know. Lying in bed together, holding her as she fell asleep. The love I felt for her, the love she felt for me. The happiest moment. But it was a lie. There was no love from her, no feeling at all.
I burned whatever bridge was left […]
Who really has a good enough reason to commit suicide? Is one reason more acceptable than another? What if:
*your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife left you?
*you’re sad, depressed, or have some other mental illness?
*you feel trapped in a hopeless situation?
*you have a terminal illness? (although life itself is a terminal condition. You start dying the moment you’re born).
*you had bad coffee this morning?
Are any of these reasons more valid or “better” than any others? If someone you knew was in the exact same position that you’re in, would you suggest that they end their life?
I think that people have a tendency to get hung up on “reasons why”. What seems […]
So you have that one person, your other half. He/she wants to see you do good and stay positive . And you just feel like you cant look up to there expectations . It hurts, and it hurts even more that you can’t be honest with them because you dont want them to know how you really feel. Im so very good with keeping my emotions bottled up. Because once they are out there is no ceiling it back up. Honestly can get you only so far in life..
Lately a lot of things have been happing , i have the good moments and the bad moments. for some reason the only thing i worry about or pay attention to is the bad ones. Its gets all stuck in my head and cant get out ! I feel like its carved in my damn head !!
when im alone , or laying down after a bad day. Everything from that day that was bad hits me and thats all i can think about. And I begin t0 cry ! EVERY SINGLE TIME!
So im really heartbroken that my now x bf the one that helped me with everything and to get back up and feel good about my self has been cheating on me from the very beginning. Ill be taking my leave for about 2 days or maybe 2 weeks but ill try to get on a write something good for you guys. Good bye.
for once i felt finally okay
i felt good
i felt like i was going to recover soon
but then it came crashing down
this wave of depression
it hit me and it hurt me
everything started coming back again
the nightmares, the voices, everything
the urge to cut is greater now
ive found out more ways to hurt myself
it doesnt do any good though
but i do like and i dont know why
i started eating full meals
a few days ago
but now that has changed
i can feel my family stare
as i go to get food
judging me
watching me
Im just going to post some random pic of a dog i can relate to.
Fuck some people are stupid!?…!
Arrg! Sniff the sting! Im no good for anyones mind! Numbing sensation of jumbled thoughts. Racing truths through my head, Zombies! *sigh*
Mhhhrrrg! Fuck them, JUST…
X-C
im sorry i havent been around lately, things were getting better and then worse again… you know, the ussual…. but this time, i think im realy done… ive picked my best 4 options, and have started to subtily say my goodbyes… its hard to fully explain everything as many of you would know. and although i feel a need to, i wont.. because its quite impossible…
just know that i did try, and that the help ppl have tried to give me, did matter… it gave me a couple more years to make sure that this is what is best… there is no place for me […]
if i know i have no chance for a life, should i kill myself now and get it over with, even though i want to live a better life but it seems impossible? i don’t want to kill myself. but i see no other way. seriously, i want to live. i want a life. but it is clear now that that’s impossible. why put all of my energy into graduating if it’s not going to happen? he’s made it clear. and if i don’t graduate, that’s it for me. and i have no reason to be around. that’s all i care about at this point. […]
I no longer care if I live or die. Nothing matters much anymore. Not sure if this is good or bad, just really a fact I guess