So im 33 and have hoped my life would get better…the past week or so has proved me wrong and there is nothing left to be hopeful about.I have several health problems any of which could kill me at anytime.I have 3 girlswhoi lovemore than anything even tho only one talks to me anymore.Within a week or so after i postthis i plan on taking my life,i know its a selfish act but there really is no other choice.It feels good just to write this down thanks to anyone who reads.
Hi Guys,
I guess my life is getting too boring to keep writing these things… So sorry… I might not continue this… I don’t know… So… Might not continue with this… Sorry.
Normal day routine.. Get up and stuff. Except one of my friends and I got into this little mini fight about my weight and I just don’t know. I mean I just don’t know guys… I just… I’ve never liked how I looked. I never loved what my body shape was. And now I’m expected to suddenly love it? And I just don’t know guys…
And ugh. One of my friends just keep threatening me […]
I post on this website to vent to let my thoughts and feelings flow out through these words. I don’t post on here to openly invite people to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do or how I should feel or to add to the distress in my life with their negativity. I am grateful to the people who have been positive and encouraging. At the end of the day I am me and I will make the right decision for me based on what I know and feel. I always find myself holding on I guess I can’t accept that life is truly […]
I wish I knew what’s wrong with me – I think I may have started a few posts with that line before! I need a rant, and a good long cry, and some sort of an answer from whichever celestial being might be listening. I have been single for a long time, now I have a fantastic boyfriend. He tells me everyday that I’m beautiful, yet I can’t allow myself to believe him. I’m convinced that he’s too good for me. He loves me, and he wants to marry me – yet I find myself fighting the urge to cut, and I have so many […]
I’ve never had a true friendship until I met my best friend/sisster/coach. I mean I’ve had friends but never one I could go to about anything. I’ve had fake friends, friends that used me, friends that left me, friends I’ve pushed away. It feels so good to have a true friend that knows everything and you can always go to. A friend that brings the best out in you. A friend that loves you for you and not the person you make everyone else fall for. A friend you trust with your life. One that will do anything for you. One that you will do […]
i need to post things
but i cant
one of my friends
they check on me
i don’t know how regularly
i don’t know when
but because of that
i can’t post certain things
and its killing me
because im bottling my feelings
maybe its good
to do this
to bottle them up
how should i know
but i need to post things
but i cant
and now what
should i do?
I give people hints all the time that i need help.. mentally physically and emtionally i cry out for help all the time and no one will just open their eyes.. UGHH. I hate life.. I recently watched a really good movie on netflix. It was called the suicide virgins it was really really good yall have to watch it.. It made me think .. i flushed my blades so i cant cut but ive been thinking of so many other objects to use i just cant do it i made a promise  i know if i do one ill keep doing it .
Hi Guys,
So today was a reaaaaaaaallllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy good day. 😀 I’m actually kind of crying of happy tears. 😀
So let’s start off. Normal routine with school and stuff, BUT I GOT TO MEET SOMEONE THAT I’VE BEEN DYING TO MEET. And oh my goodness. I’m just really happy. Of course me being the awkwardly social human being I am I just blushed and didn’t really speak. (Sorry about that, Michael). And it’s just amazing.
I finally feel happy for once. I’m finally smiling. 😀 It’s just great. And the best part is that when I got home from where I was, it was about 11:00ish. My sister […]
I went tanning today and purposely burnt myself… It feels so good to be in so much pain but I have a cheer competition tomorrow and I’m going to look stupid.
Forgive me, for I have sinned..
I have committed acts of lust
I have committed acts of hatred
I have committed acts of theft
I have committed acts of homosexuality
I have committed acts of pride
I have committed acts of greed
I have committed acts of gluttony
I have committed acts of lying
I have committed acts of being agnostic
I have committed acts of feeling suicidal
And here I stand on two feet
Waiting to be struck down
To burn, to live an eternity in Hell
I may be a sinner, but won’t my good deeds in this mortal life do anything for me in the afterlife?
Will I stand at the gates of Heaven, and fall into […]
I cant live with myself anymore after he left ,i just hate myself so much for not being good for him ,i hate myself for having an ugly personality and ugly face and ugly body and i hate myself for being stupid and not being good at anything! I just hate that im not one of his sexy smart pretty friends ,i hate that he left me ,i hate that i cant rewind ,i hate that i cant get over him and i hate how much i miss him!.
it’s very easy to say don’t expect and be happy but no matter what the ones we love.. we expect from them or some things are expected from us and no matter what you do your whole life trying to fulfill those expectations..you fall short! you disappoint and you feel really fckd up inside like you aint good enough and slowly slowly that takes over your mind and consumes you and you realize that it’s better to die than not be good enough!
I just recently discovered this site and have been reading through the posts. I am amazed at how young many of the authors are. Being a teenager was not a lot of fun for me but I would give just about anything to be able to go back and try again. To once again have the opportunities of youth.
A friend of mine is constantly joking with me about how old I am. Although she is almost 30, she is quite a bit younger than me, more than 10 years anyway. Even at her age there are opportunities available to her that are no longer possible […]
been trying to hold this in for 9 hours … but my muscles hurt from my face to my feet from trying to disguise my body language and my brain hurts… i can logically divulge that things are moving in a good direction for me, soooo this makes no sense that i feel so bad. gawd what a damn struggle!!! its so exhausting to push myself through this day so far! i cant even… there are awful things happening to other people, not me, not anyone that i personally know…… why the fuck am i going through this?!? im satisfied helping out where im […]
I think I have come to the conclusion that my social awkwardness has gone so far as to affect my relationship. I just can’t seem to communicate with him. I tried talking to him again last night. No extreme drama from me this time. Well at least I don’t think. Anyway, I told him that I just felt like a huge failure and that I can’t find any good worth in myself. I have been hearing from my mom for many years how she almost died giving birth to me and how her pregnancy with me was just terrible because she gained over 40 pounds […]
At the moment that I am typing, I am quite drunk. Unlike all the times in the past, for the very first time, I am actually drunk for a good reason. I am not drunk because I am depressed. I am drunk because I am actually happy. I will be able to tell by tomorrow if I will be okay though.
I was making this IHOP shots (50% of Butterscotch Schnapps + 50% of Crown Royal Whiskey shot.. and then followed by orange juice) . It is actually quite tasty. After about 7 to 8 shots..you feel this feeling of FREEEEe……dom. Anyway, I am quite conscious […]
I was smoking at the window. Then I “saw” myself lying dead on the road. No blood. I saw myself from behind just dead and for the first time since I’m thinking death should be a solution to my problems I got the courage (I felt an impulse) to jump. I was feeling good imagining me jumping from the window. I’m still afraid from that feeling. My life is just a piece of shit and I found no ways to get rid of my frustrations. Years studying, getting good grades and fighting against a chronicle disease that have ruined my life and only gave me […]
Why are people so unfriendly to me? Do I give off some vibe that says don’t talk to me? My roommate gives me dirty looks. I will call her Sandra from here on out. I am not sure if this is just how her face normally looks or what but she never says hi or good morning to me, I want to say those things to her but the looks she gives me make me stay silent. I live on campus this semester, it has only been a few days but it has been very hard. I feel like I am constantly sick to […]
23 year-old Evelyn McHale jumped from the 83rd floor of the Empire State Building and landed on a United Nations limousine, 1947.
I considered doing this when I was 14. Â My father, his sister, and some cousins have committed suicide. Â I wanted to many times. Â I’m not suffering now, but periodically still have a bout with depression, which I think is partly chemical. Â Â I’ve included some of the posts attached to the photo when I found it.
pjch Jeremy
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This picture of […]
“The greatest people are not those that strive to be like everyone else, the greatest people are those that strive to reach above and beyond everyone else.” Don’t spend too much of life trying to fit in and conforming to everyone else (unless thats truly wat u love) your time and effort are better spent doing other things.