I’m no longer intent on committing suicide. I’ve been told I can make a living will if I want! It’ss for me, but also to stop my grandparents from trying to destroy my family by arguements on account of the decisions I make in my life, especially where medicines and comfort level is concerned. Thanks, disability assesser! And thanks, apparently nice nurses, doctors and the rest of my lovely hospital staff now friends, who have somehow gotten me over my grief over the last procedure that my Nan successfully caused great discomfort from, by simply interfering with what the doctors wanted, subtly. And last week […]
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Grandparents
Tomorrow I’m seeing my doctors because they’ve made that decision for me and my grandparents have decided that they will make decisions and support other people’s decisions that have been made for me, even though I haven’t made them. Ok. Do I want to live like this? No. I can’t let some of my family members down. I can’t let myself down especially.. I’m no longer a nice person towards my grandparents. I hate their guts. They’re helpful to me because they have to be. I’m sometimes nice to them because I have to be. My two doctors nearly referred me to the mental staff […]
I am so hurt and lost. For the past few months my life has been crashing down around me. My mom is in jail for 5 years. Living with a dad I never met before because my grandparents didn’t want me. In ten days I have to go to a bootcamp for a crime I didn’t commit. After 16 months my girlfriend left my for my cousin. I lost my job. I don’t know what to do. I hate this world. I’m lost and alone in a big city. I need help. I get drunk almost everynight. I’ve been to rehab fir it already. I […]
Well, I’m not really sure how to do this.. But, here goes.
October 7th, 2010, exactly a week after my 14th birthday, I attempted to commit suicide. I shot myself in the head with a 22 Rugger handgun. I felt as if nobody cared, like something was wrong with me because I just could’t be happy no matter what I did. I didn’t want to feel this way but, I couldn’t control it. I felt like a burden on my family, I felt as if it’d be easier on them if I just disappeared. That day at school, all I could think about was, “What […]
Well, There was a boy and a girl, they’ve met once before about 6 years ago now, I believe, anyway they had lost contacted until last year when their friends had  told them about each other. Now, they started talking , and talking they both knew what they have been through and they both knew how they felt, if one was not happy the other one wasn’t well it toke a few months until they started dating, but when they dated, man were they cute, they did have there ups and downs but they go through it, until he had to move, his dad had died and his grandparents so he had to move somewhere far, they didn’t see each […]
About three years ago, I tried to off myself, I had come home from school that day, and when I got there I told my grandparents I was going to take a bath, so I went to the bathroom and started the water. I had made the water super hot, and I got out my razor, I had soon after used my razor to carve into my arms and legs, I loved the pain and the thought of death that came after, but then I got thinking and I realized that, I had to stay so I could help my family and my friends, […]
I’ve never looked completely normal just enough to ‘pass’.
Whenever my limits reared their ugly heads I was called a ‘faker’. Raised before bullies existed.
Raped by a female classmate before there was anyone to tell. Does that really happen between 2 girls?
The only redeemer was a mind that was sharp but then left out because I got moved ahead. Still alone.
An ‘afterthought’ child with siblings moved to be on their own; just an ‘irritant’ when I was around them.
Raised by a couple who were better as grandparents not wanting to be a mom and dad again; just pretending.
Wanting to be special to someone, be loved and […]
I used to be a very happy person. In fact, I was that loud and annoying kid who was always laughing and didn’t care what others thought. I do well in school; I dont really try very hard and I get all A’s. I have friends; they all think I’m the happiest guy alive. At school, I still act happy even now; I don’t want them to know. I have a girlfriend; a beautiful, sexy, funny, silly girlfriend, and I loved and still love her very very much. But on October 1st, 2011, she sent nudies to one of her guy friends. When I found […]
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf […]
I’m so sick of people acting like they know me…. They don’t. They think they do but they don’t. And I really just need someone to know my story. Sometimes it’s comferting knowing someone has your story.
It started when I was 4…. my parents got divorced. When I was 5 my dog died… no big deal right? Wrong. I was 5, my dog was my best friend. When I was in 2nd grade me and my mom moved to Tennessee over the summer. I thought we were just staying for the summer. No. We were moving… To get away from my dad. Since […]
Hi, i’m 15, I’m a girl, and I’ve been through hell. I’m a sophomore, and I know what its like to lose everyone you’ve ever had. My mom had me at 16, and starting at three years old, my mom was dating around a lot, got hip on drugs and alcohol. Both of my parents were VERY bad alcoholics. My mom was dating this guy that beat her, and made me watch, then my sister was born, I was three, taking care of a baby my mom couldn’t take care of.. We got evicted and lived in a car for a week when i was […]
hello my name is stan,im a 18 yearold highschool student, the thing that ment the most to me in my life was taken away monday , my gf or i guess you could say ex gf (whos name will not be said) she was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver in the rain at around 10 pm we were dateing since 5th grade we were both seniors. she was the love of my life we were engaged i was gonna marry this amazing beautiful women she helped me with everything she made me who i am today when ever i was doing […]
i am turning 24 next month. i am a single mother. a college student and i work part time. i was an addict a few years ago and have turned my life around. i was raised by my grandarents. my mother is an addict. my father lives a wonderful life an hour away. i live in hell. i have rude grandparents as hard as it is to believe because grandparents are supposed to be nice they yell at me and tell me how lazy i am and how stupid i am how much of a b i am and how much of a sorry mother […]
Hey, anyone who’s a little interesting in this stranger. I already wrote something saying that I was thinking about killing myself and also talking about my own life. Anyway, I’ve decide to leave the world but I can’t. I’m so angry right now. I can’t kill myself. I was thinking in committing suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning.  I can’t because my parents, aunt or grandparents could see me. I thought committing suicide by taking too much pills (my original plan). Then I felt really retarded when I notice that wasn’t as easy as I thought. I don’t want any suffer so I’m not going by hanging, wrist cutting, suffocation, hypothermia, electrocution, […]
So, I’ve gone through a lot lately, I was enrolled to college out of high school, as are most people these days.
I was promised a job, a house, a roof over my head, and all the things that go a long with moving from one parent to another.
As soon as I made the journey from my Grandparents to my fathers, I knew something wasn’t right though.
The job my father had promised me, it never existed.
Even after not dropping a dime to child support for the last 18 years of my life, he still complained when there was another person under his roof.
The second I couldn’t […]
I’ve pretty much stopped eating and am down to 98b lbs (and I’m 5’4), so technically I’m in the danger zone as I’m told. So why isn’t my body shutting down already?!?!! It’s really the only method I have access to, without causing too much suspicion. just taking too damn long…wISH i could just fall asleep and never wake up, but nooooo, my body is like freaking energizer bunny, it just won’t hurry up and shut down. I want to go be with my grandparents. Hopefully, it’ll only take just a few more months, it’s sucks that it’s such a slow process….
I’m so glad that I found this site. It’s perfect. Things have been really fucked up as of lately. My depression and disordered eating that began in 6th grade have crept back into my life somehow. Causing me to get in fights with friends, family, myself. I’ve had suicidal thoughts every single day, just like old times. But something new is that I see scary images. But this has been happening since summer/the end of last year. Like for an example, whenever I close my eyes I see blood or a man with an ax in his head laying on the ground bleeding, or when I’m in […]
I think I need to be heard. I’m not looking for any help or something like that; I just need that people shut up and let me talk.
Well, all this start with me when I was a child. My grandfather is a pedophile and he raped my cousin when she was eight. When I knew about it I start thinking about all the time I spend with that man when I was an innocent and weak girl. By the way, I knew about that because my cousin told me, no one else in my family was enough decent for telling me about it. In my family what […]
I have had 16 years of anxiety ridden life. The social phobia has gotten the best of me, I have no friends and am not in school. I stopped going last year in October.. After I ran away.
I was living in a dilapidated house. The ceilings leaked, the water pipes didn’t work, there was no heat. It had been less than a month that we lived there and we loved there due to transitions of homes. We were waiting for things to go through with the house we would be renting. Anyways, I was dealing with that and then school. I have no friends, […]