So recently, my brother and his girlfriend moved in. I thought it would be okay because I got along with his girlfriend and him, but not so much anymore. My brother started being psycho and started screaming, threatening me and my mom. Making fun of my little brother for being asian (i am as well). I threatened to call the cops for the safety of my family and him needing to be removed. His dumb girlfriend started rumors with my family trying to turn them on me. Saying I messaged her stuff and that she was going to beat my ass. At this point, my […]
I really do not understand the point of life if once we leave here we’re suppose to have some deep understanding of why everything is the way it is. If we already knew this before we came here then why the hell were we put here? Perhaps to make connections  that already existed before we came here, or maybe learn life lessons? If so, this also doesn’t make sense because we would have already achieved the state of knowing before being put here. Imagine being able to know everything. This could range from how many strands of hair exist on our heads to something miraculous […]
i always wonder if people look at me and think.. damn i wish i looked like her!! or do they think damn shes ugly ass fuck. im a kinda thick girl and active tall long blond hair. and you would think ppl would like that but i guess not..
I came home to visit my girlfriend today and to get some business done. But now as the day is ending I’m feeling the stress and panic of everything is coming down on me. I’m so upset that I didn’t bring my razor blades I could’ve felt better tonight. I feel out of control without my blades with me I feel like my emotions can’t be managed without them. Ugh. I’m pulling my hair out I’m so damn anxious and on edge!
I came across this piece, and found it beautifully portrayed what it is like to suffor from depression, and to be an outsider looking in.
“He inspected her. He undressed every layer of her soul and could find nothing but kindness. A fabric woven from silken dreams, compassion and understanding. She was like the moon, illuminating all that was in darkness. All darkness but her own. He began to see the thick sinking sand that swallowed her, the small pockets of air from which she could breathe. She reached out to all those that passed her, whom would only let her sink further in. Some which […]
I need you to touch me. Make me feel wanted. Pull my hair, choke me, I don’t care! Just make it sweet. Make me feel loved. Help me believe you still want me, when all the signs say no. I yearn to feel you again, or for you to at least want me. I remember when you loved me… Oh, I remember…
I can hardly place these thoughts into words, into sentences. I am incapable of being happy with a free education, food, home, clothes, and people all around wanting to take care of me. I am not abused, not regularly anyways. A text from my mom sometimes: I must b a total loser since u stay with Mike. Mike is my father, but far from a winner. If this child game is nothing but who wins and who doesn’t, I’d suggest that they are the ones in need of extensive therapy. Not me, I’m their child, they spawned me out of their supposed love. Raised […]
Twisted and ill thoughts,
Shallow breathing,
Slit your wrists,
Forget the bleeding,
Go ahead, pull your hair,
A few more dull razors,
The memory is still there,
Close those big shiny, brown eyes,
They’re still watching, just in disguise,
The nightmares still haunt you in your dreams,
To all your monsters, you’re just a puppet on strings.
just a short poem I found. I can’t imagine how heart broken and sad the author must have been.
WHEN I am dead and over me bright April
Shakes out her rain-drenched hair,
Though you should lean above me broken-hearted,
I shall not care.
I shall have peace, as leafy trees are peaceful
When rain bends down the bough;
And I shall be more silent and cold-hearted
Than you are now.
The truth I hold, took years to unfold, locked up and never told. Now I speak, for I am done being weak. A story I will tell, awakening the pits of my hell.
 Pinned against the wall, being six a little small. Tongue against my chest, you can imagine the rest. Touching, feeling, my eyes rolling to the ceiling. I push away, forced down, screaming, but i was never found.
 Day and night, always full of fright kissing, sucking, nonstop fucking. Crying, weeping and always pleading.
Was I that bad of […]
My mouth is as dry as the pavement in July.
Hair soaking wet fist clinched at my sides
somehow I know this is going to end in a fight.
She takes the first swing a shot at my pride.
If there’s one thing I know I’ve got to survive.
I have to tell this story I cant simply let it be!
And let it fade away lost with apart of me.
I won’t yell for help even though I know i should.
Because if I did I’d be misunderstood.
See this wouldn’t be easy to explain.
Why do I stand alone in the rain?
The answer is simple and hard to hide.
Because the person I fight
Lies […]
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