I’ve been struggling with Major Depressive Disorder, anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder for about 3 years. I was hospitalized two years ago for obsessive thoughts, major depression and anxiety. I had homicidal and suicidal ideations for a long time. I hated school. Hated all those pricks in it. Along with the faculty and the injustice of the school. I researched the history of school shootings, and Columbine interested me the most. I could relate so much to Harris & Klebold. Their thoughts, plans and everything. I got to thinking: “Well I hate school. I hate the injustice of the school, my classmates and everything.” I was […]
Tag:
Happiness
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.†– George Carlin
Hail George.
he’s right.
fucking humans who like to over-complicate everything with all their ‘systems’ and rules and BS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW4x4gswm-o
“Tsubasa wo Kudasai” (Please Give Me Wings)
Lyrics translation:
“If I could have my wish come true right now
I’d want to have wings
Please place wings on this back
like a bird
I want to spread my wings
and fly in these heavens
To the free sky with no sadness
I want to flutter my wings and fly
Even now, I don’t need money nor fame,
what I want are wings!
The things I dreamt as a child,
I still dream about them today!
I wan’t to spread my wings
and fly into this wide sky!
I want to flap my wings and fly to this
free sky filled […]
Reason for my downfall is simple: this real world is too damn boring, I can’t stand it anymore
by niki
written by niki
Perhaps to the contrary of what many of you would think here,
I am actually live from a quite healthy & “normal” situation/environment, eg:
– I am born from a quite loving, and healthy family. My childhood was a quite happy ones, with lots of traveling here & there.
– I am from a quite middle-to-upper class family, which can be said, I’m pretty much okay/well-off, albeit not super/very-rich.
– I even went to all those what “normal” society would call “great routes” in life like: great education & school overseas (in U.S, “The Land of the Dream” for immigrant people like me, which is […]
I hope 2012 come quickly, because this real world is too goddamn boring. I mean, what’s so interesting with all the “stock prices goes up, stock prices goes down, profits goes up, profits goes down”, and then on the other side you have party-poopers dumbwits kind of crowd.
I also hate like majority of humans as they’re usually dumb and ignorant, and prefer to have fun, party, have sex, seeking profits & money, rather than care about the continuation of civilization & humanity progress, basically, the things that REALLY MATTERS.
So hope HUGE catastrophe come! kill ’em all!
I for one never feel like I belong in […]
…about this world and the REAL “Reality” we’re all living in,
that’s been hidden intentionally by ‘The-Powers-That-Be’ (ie: governments, Top people, CIAs, big corporate execs, even Vatican priests and a lot of religious leaders all around the world!).
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread523618/pg1
Just read it for yourself
take the “red pill” and travel deeper down the “rabbit hole”.
Conclusion: we are really living in the Matrix. that the ‘higher-up’ governments etc DON’T want us “ordinary people” to know, so they can keep CONTROLLING us!
No wonder the “real-world” sucks…’cuz it’s NOT the REAL Reality!
We’ve all been lied up by the “higher” authority figures, straight from when we’re childhood entering school!
Expand […]
Life is a *****, and I like what the other poster yesterday posted here: “shit do happensâ€. it’s unfair. and even I myself still try to determine whether everything is totally pure random coincidences (and thus some got dealt the bad deck of the cards), or there is some kind of Providence or Higher Forces (God? Aliens? ETs?) who ‘play’ with our fate/destiny…and a seemingly “cruel†one at that, but hey, They are free to make ‘experiments’, right?..
Peace was stolen from me and life was forced upon me Jan 13th 1972… The result of a lunchtime accident… My Dad was in a popular band and a mean drunk’n drug addicted ass. My mom was a doormat… The molestation began when I was 4 and went on for several years by a family friend… I was a child porn star… I remember running around my dads parties drink the drinks people would leave unattended… I took my first hit of weed in kindergarten… I had 2 older brothers.. My dad would beat us with jump ropes, fists and bang our heads together or […]
A mundane, boring, dull, and hellish real world where it’s NOT supposed to be…
by niki
written by niki
Let’s face it: the real-world, especially one invented by normal mainstream society, can be boring dull as hell.
I often feel like I don’t belong here in this real world, and probably belong to other planet/universe/dimension.. already I’ve tried to find & browse for some clues that there are so much more mysteries & even magical things outside of our dull, limited earthly-sensed physical body called human.
and maybe I’ll migrate there, perhaps even sooner.
Although I still love the Earth (as a planet),
and admittedly even some Good citizens of it, ie: the warm, light-hearted, the intellectual, the ‘philosopher’ kind who can exchange conversations […]
Anyone who said that today, after what’s been happening lately in the world, needs to be shot in his/her head.
This is exactly why there’s so many society problems nowadays, and so many stressed, depressed and even suicidal people on the left and right everywhere.
This is also why society nowadays is so in a mess, education fails, but wars thrive on.
Fuck it.
Deep down inside we should know that we’ve been brainwashed a lot and a NEW theory needs to be rewritten if humanity wants to survive for BETTER future.
Deep down inside each and every one of us I’m sure know that human’s […]
if the ‘biblical’ God does exist, then He must be so lacking in imaginations than humans?
by niki
written by niki
I kept seeing movies and artworks like The Matrix, Avatar, Trons, Paprika (a 2006 anime, you guys have to really google youtube the trailer to know what I mean!), even from video games such as Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, etc
and then suddenly I ponder and saying to myself wow, all these humans’ creations & imaginations are really really fantastic and mind-blowing, that I wish they would be the real heaven, instead of the biblical heaven!
I mean gosh..it seems to me that the idea of biblical heaven seems to be: gold pavements (ew, boring), playing harp in eternity with God (ew, boring boring), and […]
I am not a competitive person, never be.
But even at age of 28 now, my parents and also society seem to teach me that Life is all about “winning, succeeding”, and most especially to “strive for the BEST”, which usually means to try to reach to the TOP, be the number ONE, be the BEST, etc etc.
But I guess I always admired and taken into heart deeply what an ex-pastor said:
“if everybody wants to become number one, then who will become number two, number three, etc??”
I think this is truly the Reality, that he speaks of. and that’s why I admired him for […]
Last night I’ve seen some posts that talks/mention about existential nihilism, and I think I used to have great discussion with my little brother about this..quite interesting.
However, like I’ve said before in some posts here, since “Hope” is always seem to be inherent in each human being (seems to be our given Nature), then it’s only logical for me to try to find the ‘loophole’ with that branch of philosophy (by now I’m sure we all know that all kinds of philosophies & even science can always be found the ‘loophole’ and sometimes for a Good purpose to improve for a better ones, this is […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-ufE76lO7Y
We are all here sitting & staring at the blue scree, while somewhere out there in this world…
by niki
written by niki
http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/09/most-alien-looking-place-on-earth.html
Maybe we all should just drop everything, and go there,
to really truly experience LIFE again..
to feel and realize and be inspired,
knowing that perhaps, this earthly-life is worth to be lived with our every breath
only if we flee ourselves from our prison-wall, whatever that is..
In previous topic before this, I’ve talked & admitted about how I’m still jobless now,.and still living with my parents. I feel so ashamed, and especially for my parents, who are admittedly much more ‘practical’ than me & my ‘head-in-the-clouds’ imaginative personality,..which can act like a damn “curse” quite often. and all the ADHD, bipolar, easily bored/depressed/lose focus,..stuff like that!
So now, here I am,..almost 29 yrs old,..and still a fucking ‘loser’ as far as I can see..
and although as much as I often said that I don’t CARE about what society (even my family & parents & relatives!) keep saying, bombarding, pressuring, and […]
1. Are you now studying (school/uni?), or working? at which field/career? does it suck, or you enjoy?
2. And for those of you who are both not studying and working, how do you ‘finance’ your everyday living?
do you still stay (& provided) with ur parents? or…?
As for me, I shamefully admit,..I belong to the 2nd category, and yes, I still stay with my parents,..despite my age of almost 29 yrs old…. this is really pathetic/sad, especially in the eyes of my ‘practical’ parents AND society!
It doesn’t even matter a shit whether if people often are ‘surprised’ by my intelligences, deep […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuVuMslQWGs
Powerful.
Just want to share.
Watch it ’till ending,
and get enlightened
for the power of your choices and Life
…before ending it all.
This might proves to be very interesting (and mind-opening) to watch for 10 minutes,
perhaps it’s heavily related with how almost everyone here often feels.
it’s time to re-think our ‘old’ notions about survival and living.
getting more interesting..
So you really want a f’in meaningful Change?
Not to be another walking zombie, just merely ‘existing’ & ‘surviving’ in this pathetic, rotten world right?
trust me, I can feel and relate totally with you..
Well,..here’s a BIG idea that might make you think & ponder a bit tonight (An idea is always better than nothing right?) :
what if I tell that it’s not our world that sucks
(eg: our Planet Earth, nature, animals, beauty of Nature, etc),..heck, it’s not even ALL humanity that sucks (eg: ALL humans & people you’ve met & encountered. ALL of ’em).
No.
It’s the System, the FEW Powers-that-be that CONTROLS the System,