suicide is a seven letter word that controlled my life along side depression and anxiety that i still struggle with. im here to tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you have a purpose. i felt that i had nothing else to live for until i made a list. it sounds simple but make a list of all the things you want to do and see in life and i promise you itll give you hope. read it everyday or everyday or when you feel like you dont want to be here. its small but it might help […]
It’s dark in here,
I can’t always find the switch or the air to breathe.
My days turn into the hell,
My nights are the blissful peace,
Because it’s the only place where I may really do it this time.
I put those awful pills in my mouth again, the taste was sweet serenity,
I lay back with a razor close to my hand,
I look at those cuts, I hear my heart beat ….
Slowly and surely I hope it’ll work this time.
My note is left on the back of my door,
Please don’t suffer over my longing to be gone,
Be gone from this world, cause it’s no longer a world at all.
The […]
ive wanted to die for many years, but now that im coming towards my demise I cant help wonder why I keep procrastinating the inevitable. I have court on the 16th for a DUI which has already turned my unlivable life into a complete hell. It started by losing my brother to suicide 4 years ago (I was suicidal way before that, about 12 year). then IÂ managed to move on and live a somewhat decent life until I met “her”. the love of my life that I am still in love with 6 months after we split and she moved away. I never wanted kids […]
Sometimes, when I wake up, my heart beat seems slow and soothing, and I know that day is going to suck. Nothing will go right and I will reach for my blade, again. I hate it. I hate the people who make me feel worthless because they are right. I deserve to be bullied. All the vulgar thoughts that run through my head at any given time.. I’ve thought of killing my mom. Messed up, I know.
I put the gun in my mouth. I count to five. Each second goes by like hours in a day. 4 I flash thru memories those that were good those that were bad 3 a strange calm washes over me like it’s already over. 2my body tenses once more before it goes limp forever 1 it’s time my heart beat gets bigger. I pull the trigger… I’m still here the gun didn’t go off. What’s this mean. I try again nothing each click teasing and taunting one more second I get taunted by life. I can’t even die. Fuck
just before i start of how i attempted suicide and got depression over a dream i had, i would like to say this might be long and goes for 1500 words.. sorry for so long.. please read it and thanks 🙂
This happend last year when i was 14 years old, i am currently 15 years old…. here what happend. This is in term 3 year 8. IÂ fell asleep on a sunday night, that night i had a dream, i was staring into the eyes of this really beautiful blonde girl… it felt like minutes, just her and me in black emptyness staring into each others […]
 To what_Is_Love13, the time will come when we shall all become angels,
just dont go on your own yet, for you are not alone.
what is love? love is you,
love is when someone reaches out and touches you..
~
Laura Elisabeth Rhodes
1991 ~2004
Laura’s Last words.
“I waited for my mother to walk in. “Laura, I am sick of running up and down these stairs,
now get up.” I would look at her
“What is wrong now?” “My tummy hurts and I feel sick”.
“It is […]
So I forgot to close out this website before letting my mom borrow my computer. I don’t want to talk to her about it. Why? Because there is no communicating with her. I’ve tried before. -chuckles- You know what she said? “If you do it don’t do it here”. Like that is going to make me open up to her. I wont say I HATE my mother, cause I don’t except when I’m mad lol but I do dislike her ALOT. I just don’t understand why people are so blind. I’m not perfect. There I said it. But I am trying to work on myself […]