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Heart

Alone

by AlmostAWhisper
written by AlmostAWhisper

You never even think about me. You’re just strangers living in the same house. The girl you think I am doesn’t exist! I wanted to cry, but never could. No matter how lonely I was, or how sad, you never even tried to understand. Ever since my brother left, I was always, always, ALWAYS ALONE! But I don’t care anymore. My heart has created a prison to shelter me.

Shut up. Leave me alone. I don’t need anything or anyone anymore. Just go away. Go away. I don’t want to feel anymore pain or suffering. Leave me alone! Wouldn’t it be great if you could live […]

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I promised not to tell

by AlmostAWhisper
written by AlmostAWhisper

I see the dishes clatter and fall.
I feel your breath on my face as you scream at me.
You hit my face.
My arms.
My ears.

I taste my salty blood.
At least the ringing in my ears is gone.
I see mother crying
Almost as if she’s begging you to stop.
You swing at me again.
My face to the floor.
How do I explain these bruises?

I won’t tell.
I won’t tell.
I’ll just smile to the wary eyes.
I’ll just wave it off.
No big deal.
No one will know your problem.
I don’t know why I exist
But maybe I’ll live to […]

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Antarctic Bones

by Cheerio
written by Cheerio

half heartedly i name the things
you suggested to me
somewhat in consideration but
in the back of my mind this just isnt right
the stars are too bright too clear
i dont want to see whats happening
yeah sure write what you want
the weekly apology

try to invest in me
have a morning glass of gasoline
have an afternoon light
when a break from bad luck is right
life leads you through a bad scene
focus only on whats happening
don’t forget details are the key

ever since i chose what i chose
i have antarctic bones
real love is a daydream
absent from reality
i cant seem to find it within me
not anyone except for you
can give it straight
bring it […]

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Life (and humans, humanity) is not perfect..

by niki
written by niki

Humans, humanity, and this (earthly) world/life is not/never a perfect place..

sometimes it even can be ‘blamed’ because of our human’s hard-wired Nature. ie: the way we’re ‘created’.
A famous atheist literature Christopher Hitchens who just passed away ironically few days before Christmas, he said this: “Evolution has meant that our prefrontal lobes are too small, our adrenal glands are too big, and our reproductive organs apparently designed by committee; a recipe which, alone or in combination, is very certain to lead to some unhappiness and disorder.”

think about that, really…and this is even still just ONE factor (ie: I’m still not talking about other ‘imperfections’ nature […]

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Life isn’t perfect…this *earthly* Life,..and we’re only humans..

by niki
written by niki

Forgive yourself & other humans,..because this *earthly* life is not perfect…and we’re all only humans…we made mistakes.
and besides, we all live only ONCE in this earthly life, so that’s why many people made mistakes in their life, because you can’t simply turn back time and repeat life..

So forgive yourself (& others), free yourself from all the restricting guilts,
keep learning,
and keep doing the Best & worthwhile while you’re still given a chance to exist and alive here in this physical world…

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My boyfriend is depressing me.

by MakeupSmearedEyes
written by MakeupSmearedEyes

I don’t even know what to do. I know he loves me, deep down. When he’s drunk he tells me that he loves me and that he’d take a bullet for me. But thats the only time he does. When he’s drunk. He used to tell me all the time, we’ve been together for 9 months and I love him so much. I have caught him out sending dirty messages to other girls before and he’s always said sorry to me. But the other week I saw a message to a girl he met in a club telling her she was really pretty and he […]

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Tsubasa wo Kudasai (Please Give Me Wings) – from Evangelion

by niki
written by niki

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW4x4gswm-o

“Tsubasa wo Kudasai” (Please Give Me Wings)

Lyrics translation:

“If I could have my wish come true right now
I’d want to have wings
Please place wings on this back
like a bird

I want to spread my wings
and fly in these heavens
To the free sky with no sadness
I want to flutter my wings and fly

Even now, I don’t need money nor fame,
what I want are wings!
The things I dreamt as a child,
I still dream about them today!

I wan’t to spread my wings
and fly into this wide sky!
I want to flap my wings and fly to this
free sky filled […]

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Reason for my downfall is simple: this real world is too damn boring, I can’t stand it anymore

by niki
written by niki

Perhaps to the contrary of what many of you would think here,
I am actually live from a quite healthy & “normal” situation/environment, eg:
– I am born from a quite loving, and healthy family. My childhood was a quite happy ones, with lots of traveling here & there.
– I am from a quite middle-to-upper class family, which can be said, I’m pretty much okay/well-off, albeit not super/very-rich.
– I even went to all those what “normal” society would call “great routes” in life like: great education & school overseas (in U.S, “The Land of the Dream” for immigrant people like me, which is […]

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2012

by niki
written by niki

I hope 2012 come quickly, because this real world is too goddamn boring. I mean, what’s so interesting with all the “stock prices goes up, stock prices goes down, profits goes up, profits goes down”, and then on the other side you have party-poopers dumbwits kind of crowd.

I also hate like majority of humans as they’re usually dumb and ignorant, and prefer to have fun, party, have sex, seeking profits & money, rather than care about the continuation of civilization & humanity progress, basically, the things that REALLY MATTERS.

So hope HUGE catastrophe come! kill ’em all!
I for one never feel like I belong in […]

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The Truth

by niki
written by niki

…about this world and the REAL “Reality” we’re all living in,
that’s been hidden intentionally by ‘The-Powers-That-Be’ (ie: governments, Top people, CIAs, big corporate execs, even Vatican priests and a lot of religious leaders all around the world!).

http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread523618/pg1

Just read it for yourself
take the “red pill” and travel deeper down the “rabbit hole”.

Conclusion: we are really living in the Matrix. that the ‘higher-up’ governments etc DON’T want us “ordinary people” to know, so they can keep CONTROLLING us!

No wonder the “real-world” sucks…’cuz it’s NOT the REAL Reality!
We’ve all been lied up by the “higher” authority figures, straight from when we’re childhood entering school!

Expand […]

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“Life is about competition & survival of the fittest”

by niki
written by niki

Anyone who said that today, after what’s been happening lately in the world, needs to be shot in his/her head.
This is exactly why there’s so many society problems nowadays, and so many stressed, depressed and even suicidal people on the left and right everywhere.
This is also why society nowadays is so in a mess, education fails, but wars thrive on.

Fuck it.

Deep down inside we should know that we’ve been brainwashed a lot and a NEW theory needs to be rewritten if humanity wants to survive for BETTER future.
Deep down inside each and every one of us I’m sure know that human’s […]

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sometimes I wonder…

by niki
written by niki

I am not a competitive person, never be.
But even at age of 28 now, my parents and also society seem to teach me that Life is all about “winning, succeeding”, and most especially to “strive for the BEST”, which usually means to try to reach to the TOP, be the number ONE, be the BEST, etc etc.

But I guess I always admired and taken into heart deeply what an ex-pastor said:
“if everybody wants to become number one, then who will become number two, number three, etc??”

I think this is truly the Reality, that he speaks of. and that’s why I admired him for […]

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Can existential nihilism be proved incorrect?

by niki
written by niki

Last night I’ve seen some posts that talks/mention about existential nihilism, and I think I used to have great discussion with my little brother about this..quite interesting.

However, like I’ve said before in some posts here, since “Hope” is always seem to be inherent in each human being (seems to be our given Nature), then it’s only logical for me to try to find the ‘loophole’ with that branch of philosophy (by now I’m sure we all know that all kinds of philosophies & even science can always be found the ‘loophole’ and sometimes for a Good purpose to improve for a better ones, this is […]

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We are all here sitting & staring at the blue scree, while somewhere out there in this world…

by niki
written by niki

http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/09/most-alien-looking-place-on-earth.html

Maybe we all should just drop everything, and go there,
to really truly experience LIFE again..
to feel and realize and be inspired,
knowing that perhaps, this earthly-life is worth to be lived with our every breath
only if we flee ourselves from our prison-wall, whatever that is..

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Is there really a such thing as “second chance” in Life?

by niki
written by niki

In previous topic before this, I’ve talked & admitted about how I’m still jobless now,.and still living with my parents. I feel so ashamed, and especially for my parents, who are admittedly much more ‘practical’ than me & my ‘head-in-the-clouds’ imaginative personality,..which can act like a damn “curse” quite often. and all the ADHD, bipolar, easily bored/depressed/lose focus,..stuff like that!

So now, here I am,..almost 29 yrs old,..and still a fucking ‘loser’ as far as I can see..
and although as much as I often said that I don’t CARE about what society (even my family & parents & relatives!) keep saying, bombarding, pressuring, and […]

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