Doctors tend to ask if you are suicidal. I’m not. I accepted a while ago that I could not bring myself to do anything that intentionally hurt the people I love. Since I first wrote this sentence down, a close friend of mine took his own life. Before this, I had begun to feel increasingly like my desire not to be here anymore was beginning to outweigh my desire not to break my family’s hearts. Because, much as I don’t see the appeal, I have to admit that it would. I struggled, in the wake of my friend’s suicide, to understand how I felt about […]
3 loves lost and im going on
3 times blown away by hating eye
cos girls thay travel in packs like wolves
and like wolves that snap at all that come nere
and unless some one can magically here
the sownd of braking hearts
and a boy is dumpt not just byu the girl but by the pack
dont get me wong im not puting a wole sex down
cos nice girls travel alone
thay set them selfs aside
from all nere by
ter for not picking up the ill tids
of hatrid and crultey
gosip and banter
are some of the simtoms to date
but its all a liy of smies as a nice boy gos biy
so dont fall for the […]
you try to convince me that your okay.
I won’t believe it anyways.
I see more cuts on your arm.
and your bright eyes are turning dark.
I’m sorry bae i have to go.
but i hope you know.
I love you so…
She scared of her life.
she’s scared she won’t survive.
she’s scared that there will never be.
another door that leads to me.
she’s scared of the light.
No, she cowers in the dark.
she says that she can’t love.
but she’s underestimated hearts.
She’s so scared of people.
and getting close to them.
she says they always leave.
and look at me.
there are no words capable of expressing how much she has broken me.
i hope she never has the audacity to ask why.
i have a plan and a date already set, but i don’t think i can suffer this heartache for 76 more days.
i could never stop loving her. when i promised her my heart it was forever and always, no matter what. when she promised hers, it was only until something else comes along. i will not break my promise and become like her and like everyone else. my hearts last breath with be only for her, even if she has become so horrible and […]
There’s no life with clean breaks
Or no chance we can’t take
Forgiveness lies too deep
To be vanished away
So flawless from the outside
Never trust a stranger
Farewell to our hearts
Remember the so-called desire
A brand new spirit destiny
Won’t let my mind play tricks on me
Closed chapters, opened curtains
To let myself be focused
Through coldest nights we found ourselves marching
Summer nights were meant to save us
And stop us from aching
I don’t need another tragic ending
No time for precious glorifying
What’s left in me will be better shortly
I learned too much, I’ve seen it all
the pain we all feel is terrible and unfair..
but we all need to know that someone in there..
and even if were all far apart..
we can all feel each other in our hearts
the deepest darkest black we have all felt inside
sometimes the world is a place we despise
but we need to all love and have compassion for each other
cause we have all been through some pain one way or another
we all let it out weather we get high or cut to feel in control
but the power to stop the power to feel good we all behold
the […]
I love my friends with all my heart, but it really seems like they just don’t care about me. Saying they do is one thing, but doing is another. Whenever they need help, I’m there. Whenever they need anything, I’m there. It could be just a small problem and I’ll listen to them no matter what. I have picked them up in the middle of nights many times. I do things without expecting a thank you in return. But whenever I’m feel sad or hurt they just give some one-liner bullshit like “Oh, I’m sorry.” Then they move on with their day. I’ll be honest […]
it means nothing to me anymore. no one means it. its just a game now. idk who to trust. i dont even believe daddy when he says it. and when i do beleive one guy….he leaves me for some other girl. she is ten times better than me too. no cuts on her arms, no hair in her face, a smile across her face and to top it off she is miss popular. why does this always happen to me? am i not ment to be loved? love is not a reason i want to die…its a reason i am so depressed. but i will […]
This song means a lot to me.. Not sure if anyone else can relate.
Versus the world – Love every scar
I fell in love every scar on her wrists
And sad eyes told a story of every
Great thing that she’d missed
She doesnt call here anymore
She didn’t even say goodbye
Just a kiss blown to
The wind we didn’t catch in time
This can’t be right the night has just begun
And I already feel like I’m dead
I know I shouldn’t hate myself
I should be blaming this on you instead
Instead I’ll rewind these weeks in my mind
And I don’t think I’ll […]
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]
Well this ain’t no sideshow
This is the great unknown
This is the poison we take
Yeah
Outside the velvet rope
Standing there all alone
Are the grotesque and ashamed
Yeah
Well if you think real beauty’s on the outside
Well that’s a far cry
From the truth
Maybe all the information you received
Well you should not believe
There’s no proof
Save yourself from all the lies of the beautiful people
It’s time to run from the lies of the beautiful people
I feel so traumatized
Doped up and televised
Life can be cruel and insane
Yeah
But we’ve got these ugly scars
On our infected hearts
Maybe it’s time […]
For 3 years now I have really liked this guy. (gonna call him Bob) I got his number at a party and started texting him. We wrote notes to eachother, went to movies, and the last few months he would come over so we could hang out. He considers us to be best friends, and tells me how crazy he is over this girl he works with. I want him to be happy, even if that means im not in the picture. But listening to him talk about other girls kills me and im too scared to tell him… Â I broke up with my first […]
Hey, so I guess the title says it all. I am fucked up. And I’m only 11. I started noticing that I was anorexic when I was 8, I didn’t like eating. I never knew why, and I’m still suffering anorexia… this month has been one of the worst. First of I lost and amount of weight (im underweight), so then I can’t see my only true love, and he hasn’t texted nor call for about a week now. I don’t only suffer anorexia, but cutting, suicidal, and they say I have mental health problems as well. My cutting started in 4th grade, when my […]
DON’T END YOUR LIFE , DON’T GIVE UP , REACH OUT TO ME.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†[…]
Fuck everyone. Just…. I won’t sleep tonight I can’t cut I am ready to hang everyone in my family and burn them. I give up I give up I give up. No one here gives a shit and I don’t fucking care about you either. And to Everlasting, I’m guessing you’re really gone. Thanks for leaving me. Thanks for that favor! I’m gonna pass it on and lead hurt people to trust me and then just fuck with thir hearts! I can say I learned from the best-so many ppl who taught me that. See how many already suicidal hearts I can crush. Seems ppl […]
If there’s one thing in this world that I long for the most, it would be a hug.
Not the “oh nice to see you again” hug, nor the “if I hug you will you stop ____” hug. The hugs I crave are those of genuine care; strong arms, tight grip, hearts beating in sync, the ones that means you actually mean something to them.
I never had that type of hug before. I usually get the limp arms, light “don’t break the porcelain” touch, unsure, fake hugs. They’re usually brief, once in a while they’ll last for minute, but the moment is uneventful and the connection is […]
A teenager growing up in a world where he has many friends, he gets good grades, he’s athletic, he likes girls and girls like him, it seems like nothing can go wrong in the world. He loves spending time outside. He loves snowboarding, soccer, basketball, and football. He’s finally met the girl of his dreams and he’s in a relationship with her. He’s in college and he’s loving his freedom. He studies, but not as well as he should. He’s off in his little world, populated by the students of his college, where nothing can touch him from the outside. The only things that harm […]
where do i begin? i don’t even care. i have no one. no purpose. no friends. sure i have pseudo-friends. but not one that would bother be inconvenienced to alter their precious life to help me. so i am alone. perpetually. look, i don’t even bother with capital letters anymore. i don’t expect anyone to even read this so what’s the use anyway? i wish it would end. i haven’t the courage to end things myself. so i just wish for it and cry. i wish i had a real sickness. cancer. something. i almost think at times that then people would notice. but then […]
So … I was reading the comments and someone (I think emptyness7) said she’d seen so much suffering and evil in the world … so have I … lots … I’m arguably one of the oldest on this site so yeah … I’ve seen a WHOLE lot of bad shit. but also I’ve seen a lot of really, REALLY good stuff – from a lot of sensitive and caring and selfless people … like a lot of the kids on this site.
You wear you hearts on your sleeve and bloody it with your blades … and it pains me to think you’ll either kill it […]
My mom just gave birth to a baby girl which means i now have 4 sisters. I’m afraid that she’ll end up to hate the world,to feel unwanted and to feel like she needs to be perfect like the other 3. I want this baby to be positive about everything,to believe,to hope,to think that everything isn’t based on appearance and that everyone should be excepted. I want her to be open minded and open hearted like i am. Me as the first born watched as my mother attempted to raise us all in hate but i was the only one able to wake up and […]