For 3 years now I have really liked this guy. (gonna call him Bob) I got his number at a party and started texting him. We wrote notes to eachother, went to movies, and the last few months he would come over so we could hang out. He considers us to be best friends, and tells me how crazy he is over this girl he works with. I want him to be happy, even if that means im not in the picture. But listening to him talk about other girls kills me and im too scared to tell him… Â I broke up with my first boyfriend because he went way too far physically (im a Christian), this guy stuck with me the throughout the whole breakup. He knows i have problems with cutting, depression, laxatives, self-image, and suicidal attempts. We would meet once a week to excercise (which is why he would come to my house) because I was on some meds that caused weight gain.
Anyways, we started hanging out alot. Everyone believes we’re dating. He took me out to where he worked and introduced me to the girl hes crazy about. Two weeks later, his best guy friend is hitting on the girl he likes. He is so upset… A few days later he finds out that his friend has told the girl who had stolen both their hearts that Bob and i were dating. He is so upset that he tells me that after my birthday party in a few weeks that we should stop hanging out “for a bit”.. Im so crushed right now. Typing this is the only thing keeping me from cutting right now. (i havent cut since May)… Im so tempted to go in the garage and drink antifreeze.
Im sorry this is so long, but please if you have the time, keep reading. Also, my grandma who lives with me has dementia. Watching her forget who I am when she’s known me all my life is awful. My mom struggles with suicide also. My dad and sister try to cheer us up constantly, but they aren’t perfect. I’m so sick of being dead inside. Of guys wanting me for my body. That’s why I liked Bob, because he doesn’t look at me like that. But now he’s cussing me out, blowing me off (like he makes plans with me and then he just wont show up) and yeah… Im just so dead. Emotionally. And I want to be physically as well. Im sick of this. Please..help. Someone. Anyone. Please, tell me what you think i should do. I have no passion, no one to love and i just have nothing to live for…
1 comment
Don’t make somebody a priority if they’re only going to make you an option.
The last thing you need is to get more wrapped up in this love triangle.
You can’t force Bob (stellar name choice) to fall madly in love with you.
Life is fucked (pardon my French) up.
My mom has dementia.
I know all too well about the trials and tribulations that brings upon a person.
“I’m not going with you! Who are you?”….”i’m your son, mom.” “i don’t have kids!”
Yeah.