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sometimes the reason you can feel suicidal is as simple as…

by niki
written by niki

…knowing that this so-called Real Life/world can never match up your super uber vivid imaginations, fantasy, dreams at night, and also your feelings.

To put it bluntly in other words, this so-called “Real Life/world” sometimes (or often?) doesn’t seem to allow much creativity, imaginations, and high-sensitive feelings.
It can in fact only requires you to be the aggressive, smooth-talking, and most importantly business/money/profit-driven or oriented.
So for the creative or ‘feeling’ type of persons/individuals, it can really seem like a hell lot of dull, bland, boring, “same ol’ same ol” stuff keep REPEATING from a day to another day, which can really at most extreme drives […]

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So, what is this Life really all about (a new perspective that might *helps*)

by niki
written by niki

So by now, I’m sure many (if not all) of you must have been wondering: with all these shits and fuck-ups happening in my life, what is then really the Purpose of my Life?? And I mean, fuck, what is Life really all about??
(it’s funny, strange, and yet still an unexplored *mystery* in itself of why we humans can at one point always seem to ask about this ‘big’ question, especially when we’re in our lowest point in Life. It makes you think & ponder deeply, despite that “Life goes on”).

How about this: Life on this Planet (& Universe, for that matter) is only […]

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Humanity, Reality, and Hope

by niki
written by niki

“In a world of inhumane reality, it is the only humane sanctuary left. That is dream” ~ Paprika (a 2006 sci-fi anime)

Reality is fucking harsh.
We, as pure normal human beings, would certainly want to get better in Life, and always seem to have HOPE (without Hope, we might as well not live, ‘cuz we would just be simply *existing*, a madness soulless shell indeed!).

But ‘unfortunately’ (though this word itself is arguable), REALITY just simply IS. It’s harsh, ‘cold’, in the context that it simply doesn’t *care* much of whether we will cry, or wail, or scream our voices to the sky,..Reality will simply be […]

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for those of you who are struggling with your current damn society or country or government

by niki
written by niki

I know it’s probably easier said than done,
but lately, after seeing similar threads all seem to pointing especially towards the fucking corrupt unright inhumane things U.S government and “the feds” etc seem to do to some of you here that literally  make u almost gone insane and losing ur humanity quality, I feel like want to say: screw U.S.
ur life doesn’t have to be fixated in that one damn country that seems to extort innocent good people nowadays. I say fuck it, if it’s really being that greedy wolves predating and sucking out every bit of ur money. You deserve better.

I say, gather […]

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this so-called “real world” and humans

by niki
written by niki

This so-called “real-world” is too dull and uninspiring and even obnoxious to my very vivid imaginations and dreams.

Human beings -the Earth’s “oh-so-special” species- largely is stupid and moronic, not even that, but they’re also largely ignorant, and then escape to religions and shits like that for “feel good”, “everything is alright”. No it’s not, dumbasses. Until when you all want to play this obnoxious ignorance game? oh sure, ’till our planet and what’s actually really ESSENTIAL for Earth’s life is destroyed to ashes?  then I pray for the End of the World to come fast, because I just fucking hate humanity and its obnoxiousness.
Everybody […]

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Society nowadays seems to push each of us to become Machine, not Human who stop and FEEL?

by niki
written by niki

Although nowadays I rarely actively post in this wonderful website anymore, yet I still often follow and observe many posts here. Some have become a bit of spamming, which is so unfortunate IMHO, but I am glad that there are still some sincere, honest, human-heartfelt posts here I’ve noticed.
And of all these sincere, honest heartfelt posts, I’ve eventually noticed, and learned, that there’s really one common tread that if I may summarize it in one short phrase, it is this: It seems really ironic that nowadays we may have forgot about being Human, and instead become more like a Machine. Not asking (with empathy) […]

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It does not always get better

by iitywygmah
written by iitywygmah

It has been a miserable 40 years, I do not want to sound like I am whining, but it really has.

There has been the normal bad things in my life like everyone else death, teenage angst, job, fighting, family and friends etc that emphasizes the feelings of wanting to die, but even when happy, the thoughts of suicide are still there.

All my life I have tried everything to hold onto that little voice telling me that everything would get better. It has not.
Good days or bad I still have feelings of ending it all. I have read that everyone has feelings of suicide at […]

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Proof that consciousness exist and goes on..

by niki
written by niki

After so many things that have been said, and happening in this wonderfully eye-opening site,
I’ve ever gone to do more researches online on some proofs of consciousness does exist and goes on..
And some of the findings are surprisingly make sense a lot.
Here I’ll list some of them:

“The simple truth is that WE are all 5D spiritual Beings temporarily within a 3D physical body!..When our 3D body dies, spiritual us, our consciousness, then moves back to the world of Spirit, our true *home* sometimes known as *Heaven* (which has many different levels), and to our limited 3D eyesight 5D spirits are invisible, as […]

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“Is the world getting better or worse?”..is it all a matter of perspective?

by niki
written by niki

http://www.helium.com/debates/280516-is-the-world-getting-better-or-worse-with-each-generation/side_by_side?page=2

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060704195516AAnrdOD
(read especially the “Best Answer” on the top)
So really,..the question then becomes: Is the world getting better or worse, all a matter of seeing and *choosing* to view half-empty glass, or half-full glass?
It’s really a matter of perspective? and how you’re *using* it to keep continuing, or *stop* and give up?..

And finally, what do you think about this post:

“that bit about suicide struck me though… the universe presents us with challenges for us to learn from them. suicide is just saying, “i don’t want to learn now”. you’ll still have to eventually though. folks who believe that the end of your body […]

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Working class hero is something to be…

by niki
written by niki

“As soon as you’re born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you’re clever and they despise a fool
Till you’re so fucking crazy you can’t follow their rules
A working class hero is something to be
A working class hero is something to be

When they’ve tortured and scared you for twenty odd years
Then they expect […]

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You know what’s probably our biggest problem is?

by niki
written by niki

I think it’s because we can’t seem to find someone, a friend, a person/individual whom we can really relate, connect, and understand each other..in our real life.
To find a similar like-minded individual,
or someone who’s probably undergoing or in the same situation like us..in our real-daily life.

You know..the more I see all the thread posts here, and seeing also the comments by other people, which can actually sometimes even give so much comfort, relief, and even there’s somebody I’ve read that can keep continuing her life, because she probably got encouraged, inspired, and/or helped by the comments posts from others; the more I see […]

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to steve_c (in reply to your thread “Niki”), and also everyone else who’s interested

by niki
written by niki

I swear I fuckin’ hate this whole “awaiting moderation” thing, I’ve typed such a long reply to you & your excellent post, steve_c, but then it comes again this “awaiting moderation” thing. Luckily I have copied what I’ve wrote, and I’ll paste/write it again here:

thank you everybody for your posts, and also kyle, for your caring of me (english is also not my first language, so I really appreciate you’re taking some time to write out & translate your thoughts into english. it’s not easy).
Believe me that I very much appreciate it. and thank you very much Steve, for actually braving yourself to […]

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is Humanity too dumb, or in simpler words, are most people just too dumb to realize the most essential things for better world?

by niki
written by niki

Every time I come to see a new post about someone sharing his/her pain in life, my heart can’t help but feeling much pain too (even if I never know that person in real life). And there are so much, so many people that seems to believe that DEATH is ultimately the ‘Answer’, that of what would be the true resting place, the true door, or even the true world/dimension of ultimate pureness to live, unlike this “damn corrupt & sickening” earthly life caused/polluted mostly by ‘stupid, clueless, dumb, egoistical’ humans, so they said.

Every all wise gurus of this world (be it Buddha, Jesus, etc) […]

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for those who want to commit suicide, what you really need is perhaps just be more open-mind & keep searching

by niki
written by niki

And maybe *that* is your ‘Purpose’ for your existence, for YOU to ‘feel’ all these ‘sensitive’ things. to USE it, to HARNESS it, and to connect with similar, like-minded souls (you will find! as already proven in this website, of how you can seemingly relate with each other here.)

Also, somebody said it right here that sometimes all you really deeply need is just this piece of information(s),..that might open your mind, and change your perspective when viewing this earthly Life (internet is great. use it).
I will share some of my ‘findings’ that I’ve found during my life-journey, and really wish/hope it could perhaps provide […]

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To everybody here: the ‘banding idea’ and other interesting findings!

by niki
written by niki

Dear everybody,
I am so sorry that I was late, and didn’t make any post/comment as I’ve promised last night..
Something urgent suddenly come up in real life, and I have to do it first…although not like I have much energy in doing it..because my mind is so totally fixated into this website,..and especially the VERY RECENT posts that imo were just so mind-boggling with constant ‘new findings’ and the interconnected-ness with everybody here on one another! and frankly to be honest,..at this current point now, I don’t seem to get interested in ANY other things in my real life, than knowing all these ‘theories […]

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Indigo children (everybody please read)

by niki
written by niki

This is so frustrating!
I’ve posted a long reply to the most recent thread-post by DMass here http://suicideproject.org/2010/08/my-feelings-are-starting-to-scare-me/
and somehow this ‘awaiting moderation‘ thing suddenly showed up again, and hence my post is still pending! (what is this ‘awaiting moderation’ thing anyway??..and I’ve also noticed that some of you said your posts are mysteriously gone??.. wow…this is really bad!..is there any way the Mods or Admin of this website to know or fix it?..)

I actually am composing a thread about putting the ‘banding together’ idea into real thing. and also to put together ALL excellent ideas & ‘alternative theories’ here.

But then I figure that due […]

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All of us might be conspired all this time!!

by niki
written by niki

To everybody in this website,

I don’t know if this is a serious coincidence,
or it’s perhaps really true that my ‘energy’ has just drawn upon *something* very important to read!
I don’t know….I mean, I used to NOT believe completely about the ‘Law of Attraction’ (LOA) and ‘The Secret’ stuff, that basically talks about how everything we see in this world physically is really just a result of our MIND, the Energy.

But lo and behold,
I know that thorought my life I’ve actually experienced quite many ‘strange’ things/events that seems ‘too good’ to just be a ‘mere coincidences’ (and I would bet that all these […]

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Suicide? don’t die yet (sharing some glimpses of Hope)

by niki
written by niki

I’ve just happened to come across this site, and seen all the replies here,
and I can honestly totally relate with everything you all said here.
In fact, these are all the main reasons, or my main feelings, that I’ve browsed around & eventually found this place!

I hate the fact that:
1. The world is mostly run by the riches & powerful, but not necessarily the most genuine kind of people, ‘cuz there’re often just way too many dirty politics & trickery for one honest, genuine person (or leader) to cope for! and it can just becomes way too much to handle!
although I’m not […]

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