The grim intense beating of my wretched heart is equivalent to the pounding and smashing of God’s hammer the day he built hell, for my eventual, eternal, resting place. Thank You Lord, Your wisdom knows no end.
Tag:
Hell
okay so I’m new around here so I’m going to introduce myself, I’m 14 and suicidal. I weigh 110lbs and I’m 5’3. I started self harming about 6 months ago but it started off very rarely however now I cut everyday, sometimes even twice or thrice a day. I think it’s safe to say that I hate myself and everyone around me does too.
I have friends but I feel like they just kind of tolerate me but don’t actually like me. My parents are both highly educated and my brother is super smart – he recently did his GCSEs and got 10 A*. My parents […]
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
by niki
written by niki
Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !
The more I grow up & learn after all these 32 years of my life, sadly, the more I feel hopeless especially for humanity / our humans species!
MAJORITY of people / humans beings / humanity are so damn shallow, superficial, vain, ignorant, stupid, fake, dirty, liars, etc etc.
I used to have so much HOPE for humanity , but now the hope is dwindling until it’s almost none !!
MOST people are sadly only concerned with vain, shallow, mundane “daily-life” & little […]
Life is not fair / unfair. there is always winners & losers. I’m a loser, so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
by niki
written by niki
Life is not fair.
Life is unfair.
there is always winners & losers.
there will always be winner & loser.
so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
rather than they keep living chasing & fixing all their way too many losses, which is probably too late anyway too.
and usually losers can’t win / can never win against winners anyway .. even the “start” is already too late!!
This is the harsh truth / fact / reality .
Reality / Real life / Real world is very LIMITING / LIMITED in what we can & can’t do !
We are limited by money […]
Is anybody here curious about death? I mean like wonder what its really going to be like when we die? I admit that I am.
Now when I say that I am not saying I am currenty suicidal. Im not. But I often wonder about death. We have all heard about Heaven and Hell and there are other theories about what life is like after death. I studied NDE (Near death Experiences) and have heard people talk about how they died and wound up in a bad place and felt tormented and Ive heard others say they died and came back to life and when […]
Imagination better than reality? Why Imagination is better than reality? Why is Imagination better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Imagination is better than reality?
Why is Imagination better than reality?
Why is fantasy better than reality? Why fantasy is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Interstellar, etc etc, they are much more interesting, full of POSSIBILITIES & varieties / variations, and better than reality / BORING reality […]
Your voice was the only thing that could calm me down. When I was on the bathroom floor with a bottle of pills and a cold blade in my hand, you were there. You called me and just hearing your voice made me relax and breath. You changed me but you left. I have no idea who i am anymore or what my purpose is. Im lost without you by my side. I cry everyday at the thought that i wont be hearing your voice before i fall asleep. I wont be hearing your voice when i wake up. I wont be getting any sweet […]
For so long, what kept me from doing myself in was the fear. Would I go to Hell assuming that there is one? Or would I simply disappear into nothingness? But perhaps one of my biggest fears was becoming a ghost because being damned for all eternity to stay on this Earth was one of the worst hells I could imagine. This was before I realized I was the Phantasm, of course, already a ghost in this life. Now I am no longer afraid and I have made peace with my fear. I have asked the higher power for forgiveness for my wrongs as well. […]
Just a glimpse into my ordinary life…I was at work just like every other day and decided to check my personal email on my phone during lunch. A funny yet perverted friend of mine found a craigslist ad and receive various semi-nude and nude photos from the person and he sent them to me. This is nothing new but in the pictures, the background items seemed familiar. I ask him to forward the email chain to me and I pulled the metadata from the pictures and they were taken at the same time as my wife was at a friend’s house out-of-state and the make […]
No one seems to truly care. It all seems like they superficially care and love me, but no one wants to sacrifice their time to help me in this crazy fast and lost world. You talk about depression and every body is like “Just be happy” or wants to give you tough love, as if that would help! I need somebody to walk it out with me, in person!
And then the subject of suicide is brought up and almost everybody says those people are cowards.
Look for help and all they wanna do is give you medication. I dont want medication, I want true love, help […]
Along with the overwhelming fear of failing an attempt (again), I have always been afraid of succeeding and finding some place worse than life on this Earth. Do people who commit suicide go to some type of “Hell”? Is there a Hell? Is there an afterlife? Will I be welcome to it if I force myself into it? Or is death like a dreamless sleep from which one never awakes? This notion terrifies me but is comforting at the same time. There may be nothing there at all which includes no depression, no anxiety, no more fear of death, no more hardships from life; there may just […]
I can’t deal with my depression anymore.. I have started cutting again, and it is the only promise I can make myself anymore.. “If you get through this awful day, you can go home and carve yourself to your heart’s content..” While people may find that gross, it’s honestly the most truthful thing I’ve ever said to myself.. Cutting is an out for me. It helps me express my feelings, despite the fact that no one but me ever sees the cuts..
No one ever sees them because I am very sneaky about WHEN I cut. In the shower, in a bath, late at night […]
Life is Hell. I was raised Christian, and actually believe there is an entity out there who created all, yet I struggle to come to any other conclusion.
What’s the saying? “Life sucks, and then you die.” No, life sucks, and then your dog dies, you accrue a mountain of debt, struggle to improve your career, lose your job, spouse leaves you for someone more ‘interesting,’ get cancer, accrue more debt, break a hip, suffer the hate from people for being “old,” then you, at long last, die and remain at peace for all eternity.
To add insult to the injury of this hellish life, we are […]
Where do i start eh?
I am 48 yrs old, married to my gorgeous wife Victoria. we got married in 2006, we’ve had our ups and downs liek all couples do and we have come through it because i thought we were strong.
I had major back surgery in 2011 that failed now i have disc degenerative disease throughout my spine and survive my days on large amounts of morphine just to get me walking.
My Mother passed away in Nov 2012 and i felt a part of me died too, my Father died in 2007 the day before my Birthday and that is crippling me big time. […]
Reality sucks, Reality suck, Reality boring, I hate Reality, boring Reality, Reality is boring !
by niki
written by niki
Reality is boring & LIMITED !! I hate Reality ! boring Reality !
Real life is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real life ! boring real life !
Real world is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real world ! boring real world !
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, […]
My first memory was when I was three, I was in a store and running from my father, I had this little pony tail, and my dad grabbed it and pulled me back, slamming the back of my head onto the ground. I don’t remember anything after that… and then the next memory I remember is when I was at this “Mental Hospital” I was about 5 years old, and had just woken up inside this room, there was no padding, there was a vinyl floor, everything was white or close to it, there was no toilet, no sink, no bed, no cot, no pillow, […]
I remember everything that day.. the fight, the feelings of apathy from people who I thought cared about me, and the last song I heard before I went into my coma. The day started out normal with the exception of me waking up late and having to take a quick shower before class. My roommate made it well-known that she was pretty irritated by my actions because she wouldn’t even speak to me the entire day. I tried to ignore it, but the caring person I am tried to fix whatever she was upset about. When I came home, she was downstairs and I knew […]
I miss you. Like hell.
I’m unable to continue this miserable excuse for an existance. No one will wish I hadn’t and I have no will to live. I’m more than slightly sure that I do not deserve to piece myself through this meager existance. Goodnight everyone… See you in Hell….
Reality is boring & LIMITED !!
Real life is boring & LIMITED !!
Real world is boring & LIMITED !!
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, […]