Since I was 12 years old I’ve had a crush on a boy who would only break my heart.
Since I was 12 years old I’ve cried myself to sleep every night.
Since I was 12 years old I’ve wanted mutual feelings of attraction .
Since I was 12 years old I’ve wanted to die.
Since I was 12 years old I’ve tried to die.
I love my family, I love my friends, so I can’t die.
I want a way out, but I don’t want the people I love to feel the pain I feel everyday.
Maybe I just need a friend who understands […]
Will someone explain to me how this site works..I just want to figure all of this out before I start using it.
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this all actually started a long time ago , in my first grade they were lots of kids who hated me for no reason they called me names they were spitting on me and once almost hit me but i ran away.
it was like that for a long time and since the 6TH grade i started cutting they stopped bulling but i started cutting i was in a depression  i felt lonely like nobody loves me.
everynight i cry myself to sleep
now im in 8TH grade i […]
I don’t quite understand why it feels so much easier to write about my problems then to say them out loud I suppose it’s like my thoughts are my own little secret I mean that’s what your mind is for right? A space where you can detach yourself from reality if only for a few moments and go somewhere.. be it a memory or completely make up.. But no amount of day dreaming will save me from myself, Let me start off by saying I am now 19 years old to be 20 in August and have suffered from clinical depression for 4 years, I […]
While one day falls into another, I only hope that this is a dream.
I’m too old for these feelings. I’m in university, doing an incredibly difficult course which I spent my whole schooling trying to get into. I chose this. I am crippled by social anxiety, so I chose to live alone. I am simultaneously envious of people who can be themselves, surrounded by friends. I chose to be like this, every decision pushing me further inside my head. I am painfully crammed inside my own skull.
Surely I’ll wake up, a happy, normal, real version of myself. Surely I’ll be able to think beyond myself.
I […]
I have a question to all the self harmers out there,..
Anytime I cut, scratch, burn, ect..they get really infected but whenever I get a scratch or cut from something not caused by me it doesn’t get infected at all.
I don’t understand…help?
They listen, yet they dont hear. They think, yet they dont know. They hear my cry, yet they dont see my tears. So when I die, will they know I never lived?
I was just thinking.
I came across this site and started reading some of these posts, and realised I’m not the only one who feels alone. ‘Im so scared of doing something stupid.
I’m writing a post on here because this is the only way i can get my thoughts out without the constant judgement. Today my mum woke me up so i could go shopping with her. I got all dressed up, I wanted to feel nice and i did. In the car on the way there i put my headphones in, and just looked at all the cars going past. Wishing i was […]
The girl that’s been my bestfriend for 4 years is now talking to my rapist. She’s the one that told me he could burn in hell…and now they’re talking. I don’t even think I can begin to explain how I feel. I feel betrayed…I feel like I can’t have any friends. Her and another girl were pretty much the only people I trusted..now she’s talking to him and the other one is talking to the guy that calls me awful names.
Where’s my justice…where’s my hope.
Where the fuck is karma?
I planned to kill myself, but then I found this website. I know no one is interested in my story, but I would like to learn about other people here. If I’m able to help one person in this lifetime I will be able to die happy.
It’s been some time since I’ve posted on here, because I really haven’t had much to say. Things had been normal & for the most part everything was cool, I was beginning to be able to handle myself… Then I lost it. Yesterday I literally tore apart my room, balled my eyes out & cut. I cut in a visible place (which makes it worse for me) & it sucks. Ppl have been noticing and since my cat recently passed I can’t use the cat excuse anymore. Idk I just had to get this out… I wish I knew what made me temporarily lose my mind, any […]
be straight up I suppose…. My names Serena , I’m in 7th grade at Bemidji Middle School , I have a smile on my face most of the time(= , but everybody knows im ‘depressed’ , because …. I cut myself , a lot… my legs , my arms , my wrists , my stomach…. It make’s me feel better. I don’t know what else to do! , I ALWAYS get called a ; HOE , WHORE , **** , ***** , FAT , UGLY , WORTHLESS , ATTENTION WHORE , DUMB , BOYFRIEND STEALER , etc.. It sucks , a lot , I don’t […]
Long story – Short(Believe me, I tried):
I was 17 last year making my brother 23. He started seeing one my absolute best friends until she decided to start dating someone who could be around more, his work kept him out of town.
He told me that it really hurt him and we bonded over it… or so I thought. I had a complete falling out with one of my oldest friends and he decided to take her virginity as a way to get back at my best friend. He’s not very mature for his age – I know, and hes been told by many, including my […]
Hi,
I’ve always known this was the next step. Since I started thinking about it though I’ve been scared. It’s been 7 years since I first thought about talking to someone, but I figured there were more cons than pros with it. I decided not to risk it because I didn’t really know what it was going to be like. My mother would get overly involved and I don’t even want her to be tipped off that I’m going in the first place. I also don’t want to get there and be a crying wreck. I just don’t know what to expect and it makes me […]
Over the course of my short 26 years of life, I have attempted suicide on no less than 8 occasions.
From the age of 11, I was bullied at school, tormented and tortured by grown men who’d wait for me after school and not to mention the troubles I was working through at home and struggling to admit the fact that I am gay, even to myself.
All of this plus a few other reasons landed me in therapy.
From the age of 11 onwards I saw one psychotherapist after another and I’ve been on so many medications that it’s hard to be certain of the exact number. […]
i know a few methods, i’ve researched on some, but i’m still not certain on which one i should consider doing..
please, if you have any suggestions or recommendations email me: storyofmyscars@hotmail.com ; i would really appreciate the help.
it isnt that i’m even 100% sure i’ll do it, it’s just i feel more comfortable about living when i have a semi-concrete plan to dying. recently three of my friends have tried methods, they all failed. i really really can not fail; i don’t want the pity everyone would give me. i know that if i did fail it would be super difficult for me to ever try […]
I don’t know what it is but somehow people dislike me right after they see me. I am nice, shy and I am hygienic but something on my is repelling everyone. When I talk to them … when I try to talk to them … they either ignore me or push me away with ‘what do you want fatty/*****/loser’. There is no one I can talk to. Even when we have to make groups at school, I am the last one to be picked (which really does hurt) or I just get those look ‘ugh, she is in our group’. I’m scared to say something; […]
its over for me , it drained me , killed me of emotions , all those crimes , all the terrible things i did , the way i live my life i dont want it anymore , and now , what do i do , only god can help me if he is there and can hear me ,
i am dead inside , there is nothing left no more , i cry in my room at times , screaming as loud as i can , and yet , no one hears me , and no one sees me , its funny , i make […]
For almost a year i’ve been suffering from OCD. I’m depressed, numb and sometimes just thinking about ending it.
The only thing that have kept me from ending it was this one girl in my class that i recently learnt to talk to… We talked about random subjects together and just had a good time. Whenever i was feeling down, she talked to me and made me happy. Every time I would talk to her, my bath’s (normally about 45 minutes) would decrease to about 30 minutes. She’s the only thing that keeps me going. She makes me want to fight, to become normal. Our relationship […]