This year I will be 25. I have been obsessed with suicide since my abusive childhood and have known I wanted to do it at age 25. I was raised with insanely high expectations. Long story short, I was beaten by my parent whenever my grades were below 99%. I wasn’t allowed to have friends. I was timed everyday from when I left to house to when I came home. No tv or phone calls, no christmas presents or magical princess birthday parties. Just school work and sleep. I’ve been punched, kicked, beaten with bats whenever I tried to stand up to my parent. I’ve been called me […]
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Most of us are here because we feel so shit we want to kill ourselves. Â So I want to tell my story..
I had been crying non stop every day for about 4 months. I would go to college, cry, go gome, cry, cry myself to sleep.. it was a never ending cycle of me crying. Till one day during my lunch break at college I decided I had, had enough. I got lots of differdnt friends to go to shops and buy me tablets  (I couldn’t because I was too young) Anyway, I , anahed to get a fair amount of tablets, since more than […]
I posted last week about repeatedly falling out of bed a few days earlier and ending up in the E.R. with respiratory failure from some type of Pneumonia. Fucked as my luck runs a few days later I was released to home care and cleared to go back to work. Of course I am far weaker than before the incident and my usual level of physical pain is now at least twice as intense as it was before.
I could barely do my job as it was. It takes me nearly two hours to get out of bed and dress for work – God only knows […]
Im sick of this pain after school ends i’m gone i’m finally going to do it… my body is deteriorating from not eating from the 7 ibuprofen i take when i get home from school and when people try and don’t you dare say its selfish i’ve tried and tried to make people listen but they all ignore me i’d rather be dead than to deal with this pain…I’m tired of the pain I can’t handle it anymore I’m sorry but this is goodbye
Somedays I just feel like finally doing it. Just swallowing that bottle of pills on my nightstand or climbing onto my room and diving head first into my concrete driveway, maybe taking a kitchen knife a locking myself in my bedroom ..sliding it vertically down my wrist. My life is an endless circle of nothingness.
Wake up, get dressed, brush teeth, grab backpack, jog to bus stop, go to my seat, arrive at school, go to homeroom, go to 1st period, go to 2nd period, go to lunch, go to 3rd period, go to 4th period, get on bus, walk home, eat, do homework, get online, […]
I want to go home. I don’t understand anymore. My life is full of happiness and love, I have everything I could ever want, I like who I am. I am strong in my religion, I have lots of friends and lots of people that love me. Why am I considering suicide? I’m on medication and I go to therapy. Why am I still anxious and depressed? I’m so scared. I don’t remember how to be happy. The thought of killing myself scares me, why am I still tempted? I wish I knew how to fix this. Right now, it seems killing myself is the […]
I’m quite isolated from other people my age; I’m shy and feel uncomfortable around other people quite easily. I never go out and do things with friends. I have casual friends who i talk to at school, I have no real “good” friends who i regularly see out of school.
I used to get depressed quite a lot, mostly last year though. I haven’t really felt depressed in two almost two months now, though suicidal thoughts are a constant threat.
I am almost finished school, and I catch up with friends most days. But once I get home or they leave, I just feel empty. […]
Does anyone happen to know of a forum or chat site where we can discuss methods openly? I’m trying to figure out a way that’ll be relatively painless and not cause much of a mess. I’d like very much to go out in the comfort of my own home but without ruining the upholstery, and if it looks accidental then so much the better 🙂
Honestly, I am just tired. old, done the same job for 25 years, (Stay at home mother) Â lived in a strange city for the last 18 of them. Not one friend in this whole city. I hurt from age and loneliness. I was someone else when I got here but between him and the kids.. Who am I now? Trapped in the house by my own fears of the traffic. So fat I hurt, yet the pain keeps me from exercising.. Catch 22. I won’t die, I would love to, but how can I? How can I put my husband and kids though that? Yet […]
Well ive been here almost a month. I found this sight to realy help me.
But yea here is my full introduction.
Hi my name is julien nicholas vetter. Im a 15 year old boy I live in south africa. Johannesburg, Â guateng. im a musician and play almost all instruments.
I cut myself very often. I am a honors in math, science, home economic, Â and creative writing (poetry).
And ive found no reason any more to continue.
Ive attempted suicid many times. And I ran away from home many more times.
Im sick of life. I often think life made as a si k joke when it got bored. And said […]
I’m just gonna throw this out there. I am mentally and spiritually broken. I have been laid off twice in the last two years. Married with two kids. Was active in church. Was very close to losing my house. Was unable to pay my bills had power and gas getting turned off almost monthly. I found out real quickly who really cares about you when you hit rock bottom which turned out to be no one. I thought my wife was my best friend in this world but I swear she has cheated on me with a co worker. She went and partied with this […]
Are any of you in a situation in which most of your friends/peers are completely unaware of your depressive and suicidal tendencies? Have you ever gotten that feeling of disconnection that results from knowing that the person across from you, whom you may have known for almost your entire life, is still so fundamentally isolated from an aspect of your personality that consumes you everyday? As if nobody out there actually knows you? Almost like the social creature you’ve sustained over the years is some sort of agent dispatched by you to maintain the facade - Whilst the real you is still at home, under those sheets, constantly asking questions.
today was different. who would have thought itd end like this.
i got blamed for something at school now im expelled ( i had nothing to do with it ). go home to see that we were robed. and now sitting on top of a bridge at the moment guess il see what happenes at the end of the day.
I hope that liquid inside
would fill the sadness you hide
and in every day do you
believe that that can save you
and every day you sit alone
does that bottle feel like home
does it make you forget
everyday that you regret
does it fill you with joy
because nothing else can
you know your broken when
that little girl stands before you with sad eyes
and you don’t even notice them anymore
does that bottle fill your soul
does it make you happy at all
and when the sadness comes back
would you stay on […]
Being at home became far too painful. It’s an excruciating thing to watch the home life the brought you up for sixteen years, that was your safe place – rot away in front of your very own eyes. And I did what I’m best at – I pushed it away. I didn’t let it defeat me, I refused to let it drag me down.
I would wake at 5 AM just to get some peace from the chaos. I would leave my house for school at 5:30 AM and would walk – along the edge of the cliffs, along the beach for hours on the […]
im a 15 year old boy. yea before i continue i know im young for this kind of stuff. but to the point i hate my life. i always put asid my need to help someone else and get nothing for that. ive watched my best friends die right infront of my eyes. and i still blame myself of there deaths. i lost the love of my life. to my friend… and i just feel like.nobody cares. i hate my life. ive run away from home 8 times. longest ive been.gone is near a year. and ive ettempted suicid. many. many times. i just feel […]
Im 17 years old, male, in a small town. My parents have been fighting non stop for what feels like since I was a little kid. i dont know what to do. im lost in what direction i should go, i need to get out of here, my home feels like a prison in which the guards are all holding guns to my head and im begging them to pull the trigger, i cant stay with friends, and my closest family lives one city over 300 miles away. i want it to end and death means i dont need to feel anything ever again…ever.
I’ve been trying to get myself out of the suicide trend for a few years. I’m a diagnosed bi-polar, I’ve lived most of my life in poverty, in “a rich country” of Canada. I’ve done many therapies and tried many drugs, but it’s all quackery. what’s Quackery you say? it’s treating the symptoms not the causes. the causes are attachments to others, lack of stable/gainful income, stable food/roof, and women, god women. just god awful bitches every where I look.
I had an idea in my head that maybe if I could suffer my entire life and be in such darkness the opposite could be true. […]
Teen dies by suicide in Edmonton group home
www.edmontonjournal.com
Hello everyone
Im Shianna and I’ve been bullied since I was 10
It started in 4th grade
At the beginning I had lots of friends I was always to popular girl I would always bring in snacks for everyone and I loved school.
Well somewhere in 4th grade I started gaining crazy weight I weighed 178
Remember a 10 year old weighing that is really dangerous so my doctor gave me pills and more pills. But they didn’t help
At all. 4Th grade was over I was in 5th now and III t was around my 11th birthday
When I walked pass a group of boys […]