welll here I go

Well ive been here almost a month. I found this sight to realy help me.

But yea here is my full introduction.

Hi my name is julien nicholas vetter. Im a 15 year old boy I live in south africa. Johannesburg,  guateng. im a musician and play almost all instruments.

I cut myself very often. I am a honors in math, science, home economic,  and creative writing (poetry).

And ive found no reason any more to continue.

Ive attempted suicid many times. And I ran away from home many more times.

Im sick of life. I often think life made as a si k joke when it got bored. And said lets make this kid…..and then fuck him up ( sry for the language).

I cant believe how its all turned out.

And. Kyrie if you read this wich I hope you do.

I love you.

I know thats a strong word to use.

But I love you

You always used to say no one cared about you but I always did care.

But can you believe we lasted this long. 12 years ey.

Friends for 12 years. And still are friends.

Il miss you most but ey thanks for everything.  By the time you read this itd probly be to late yeknow.

Im planing on trying one more time. My attempt to get out this wrld.

In a way ik I wont survive this time. Im planning on doimg this nxt weak sunday at most. When everyone has gone to the mall I stay behind haha.

Most pepl say suicide is for cowards. The cowards way out.

But actually it requires a tremendous amount of bravery. I found myself scared of very little. And I am terrified of death.

But some things got to happen sometimes yeknow. Well this is my signout bye