Why do people have to be so mean. Every time i let someone in they always have to hurt me. I hate it how people always say they there gonna be there for me and once they see that i really do care about them they just leave. I just wanted a friend but they eventually just leave, but then they say life is worth living. i just want that oe person who will say they wont leave and then they do. my mom prefers weed ad meth so she’d set me away to my step dads who loves going to the bar. But i […]
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hopefully
Four bottles of Kirkland Sleep Aid dissolved in water…Hopefully that’s enough.
Drink and die.
Sometimes when I mentally torture myself I actually feel God but right now it’s torture because I’m at the exact theatre where I watched a movie with the love of my life. And it was a he. I’m depressed sad angry. Idk anymore. If I died I’d be happy hopefully a better life afterwards. Sometimes I wanna die so bad sometimes I think an think what I could’ve done better. I have a plan that will put me in a place where I can no longer hurt anyone. There’s no God no Jesus Christ. Only a devil who lives to torture us. I’ve revoked my […]
The first time i was raped i was seven. i didn’t grow up with a father figure around, and i guess wasn’t shown love so i honestly thought that this was how somepne showed you they love you. I’ve been raped three times sinse then. By ‘friends’ that i obviously trusted to much, by my uncke.. all my life I’ve been classified by numbers whether it be how much my hospital bill was, what grades I’m getting or how much i weigh. a few weeks ago i was shown that I’m worth $50 cause that’s how much someone paid to rape me. I’m so […]
Hello, I have gone through many things that contributed to depression. I am not asking for donations from any of you, but I am asking you to share this link so that I can hopefully share my story with millions! Thank you! <3
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1143429061/guiding-light-a-memoir
Okay, so this divorce thing has been dragging on for a year. It’s not what I wanted. Sure I could have been a better husband, but that doesn’t really matter now. Have a court appearance next week, hopefully that will resolve the thing once and for all. Visiting with our son tomorrow, I have to try really hard not to talk to him about her. But really the big thing is we’re not getting back together. So I’ve been laying around mostly feeling sorry for myself. I think it’s time to get up off my ass and start trying to build some sort of new […]
We who deal with depression- how far will be go to hurt ourselves? I overeat. I don’t look at myself in the mirror- no idea what my hair is looking like. I don’t brush my teeth. So embarrassed at the doctor’s office when she looked in my mouth. Yuck! But I told her why and it helped to tell even that little bit.
We get upset facing the depression. We want to hurt ourselves in one way or another. Why do we do that?? The pay off is you are expressing your pain? Even the talk (hopefully only talking!) of killing ourselves is part of hurting […]
Finally…I quit my job. The main source of my depression and misery. Now I will focus on school, my daughter, and strengthening my relationship with my fiancée. Hopefully things get better. I hope he doesn’t feel burdened too much by this…
Happy freakin’ Easter sp. We suffer horrible torment. We die. We freakin’ rise again. That makes Easter a damn sight better than Christmas in my humble view. More ways to die than just the physical. In Amy Winehouse’s words ‘I died a hundred times’…
Plus I’m kind of an antinatalist. This world is no place to bring someone you love let alone an innocent vulnerable child.
I’m kind of bored and awake at an unearthly hour so excuse my random ramblings.
I sing little made-up ditties to myself all day about wanting to die. But I’m a gigantic wuss when it comes to going through with the […]
Hey all,
I found this site after I googled mania and how to sleep. Obviously nothing I found helped cause I’ve been reading posts all night.
I wanted to share my suicide experience and hopefully change someones mind or help them see the point in struggling and fighting through life. I have shared a lot about myself and feel comfortable with what I have divulged. Maybe my experiences are similar or maybe they shed light on mental illness and how it affects yourself and others. Maybe what I have confessed will give you the courage to speak openly with your friends and family and seek help […]
I know this site is for people who want to kill themselves, and I know many of you would look at me in disgust, but I want to kill my father, and then kill myself. I hate my father beyond words. He is supposed to protect me, shelter me, and teach me how to be an adult. Instead, he attacks me verbally and financially every chance he get. Any attempt to fight back only makes it worse, because he’s a master manipulator and constantly works to make my entire family hate me, which they’re so close to doing. He can shit on my face and […]
BEFORE CONTINUING ON MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING AND I’M NOT RECOMMENDING ANYONE TO RESORT TO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been over consumed with death and suicide. I have been dealing with big upcoming decisions and stress. Also I have been suffering with a huge increase of panic and anxiety attacks. I do goto counseling and take meds daily. I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder along with both mood and anxiety disorders.
I have been using my coping skills and yes they work, however it wasn’t enough. I have been exhibiting manic symptoms even though I’m not bipolar.
As a teenager I used to dabble in cutting and self mutilating, […]
….the end. Hopefully soon.
cut myself for the first time in 4 years yesterday.Spend most days drunk on alcohol/valium or both yet still going to work but it’s getting harder. The fact I get a train doesn’t help, it would be easy to jump in front of one cause I get plenty of option to but hey, I don’t wanna fuck up their lives by hitting me.
wanting to throw myself downstairs daily is so frustrating, other people seem to be happy! What the fuck is that?
Im glad they are but i’m just wondering how that feels!
I wanted a gun, but in the UK it’s pretty difficult. […]
Starting my year as the chairperson of our student organisation. No time to think about suicide now. Besides, people need me.
Hopefully you, too, find meaning to your life! 🙂
Hey SP’ers
I am a huge fan of anime and I wanted to post a brief list of anime that left a mark on me. I wish I could list everything but these are but a few of the classics I have enjoyed:
– Here and now then and there
– Texhnolyze
– Berserk
– Elfen Lied
– Kemono no Souja Erin
– The Twelve Kingdoms
– Shinsekai yori
– Escaflowne
– Blue Gender
– Seirei no Moribito
– Galaxy Express 999
– Argentosoma
– Rurouni Kenshin
– Evangelion
The list could go on and I’m sure I’ll kick myself later for forgetting my critical favorites :'(
Please share any anime you thought made you feel a change or effected you in an unexpected yet hopefully pleasant way 🙂
A few other posts got me thinking, what if we tried a thread where we all have to say something (a) nice about ourself. As in, what’s a good quality I possess, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, whatever.
And (b) say something nice about someone else. On SP if you are familiar with folks, but it doesn’t have to be someone on SP. Anyone in your life that you can think of something nice about.
If you don’t want to play, that’s fine, but please don’t post negative crap on this thread. This is a POSITIVE thread. Hopefully those too angry or sad or depressed to comment, will […]
The end is approaching, I can feel it. Everything is going against me, creating the only path which is right for me, suicide. By the end of this year hopefully it’ll be over and done with. Noone else is going to get the chance to disappoint me, no plans will be cancelled, no promises broken, no fake smiles aimed in my direction, my heart will ache and break no more. Just brief freedom whilst in the air and then boom. Finally dead and gone.
I am getting closer and closer to the end now. I have already scouted the location. Its very high and easy to access. There are no fences or anything to prevent me from jumping, which is odd because i wouldn’t be the first one to commit suicide at that spot. At the bottom there is concrete. I will try to hit it head first. Should be the fastest way to go.
I have put my affairs into order as best i can. I have written a suicide note. I will probably do it this week. Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow night. Seems almost inevitable now.
There are a […]
I’m sorry it’s a tad long but please read?
So I managed to stumble across ‘Borderline Personality Disorder’ roughly five days ago, and, although I vaguely knew what it was, I wasn’t entirely sure. As curiosity would have it, I looked up the definition and symptoms. And after reading the list on multiple sites, I’m beginning to feel like something like this may be what’s wrong with me.
Now I hate it when people self-diagnose, and this is pretty much the same as that, but I am genuinely concerned yet don’t want to self-diagnose. For one, I don’t want to have a mental illness (the hospital tried […]
Yet again, I can’t trust anyone. My “friend” left me last night cause I told her what I trully was. She said she can’t be friends with someone who’s depressed and stopped talking to me all together. I just feel like shutting myself from the world and go mute. I’ll just talk in sigh language when I have to.just completely shut myself from the world and hopefully die before I’m 20 🙁