Tag:

hopes

Overlook of me

by Cloverse 10/21/2015

written by Cloverse

Hello. I am 15 years old, and I have never met my dad- not my real one anyways. I have a verbally abusive step-dad, and a mother who doesn’t understand what I have been going through.

I am the oldest child of 3, and I have depression.

You may be saying, “well duh, you’re 15” and all the “all teenagers are” but let me tell you that I used to be a happy kid. I was outdoorsy, and social. Now I am a selective mute who hates the outdoors. Actually, I love the outdoors- just not the things in it- if that makes any sense.

I am an […]

10/21/2015 5 comments

voices.

by L0STgirl 10/20/2015

written by L0STgirl

I’m not crazy, their there, always there. They linger in the back of my mind and demand to be heard. Oh the pain, the sweet agonizing pain. Have I created monsters inside me in hopes of never being alone?

10/20/2015 5 comments

day 3 of being homeless

by ismedyl 10/14/2015

written by ismedyl

Just an update my car is uncomfortable it does not have good lumbar support lol I’m sleeping in a Parking garage I’m hungry my neck hurts I have no money and I have a continuous headache I took a shower at my gym because I have not yet lost my membership I spend my day going to different subways until they kick me the fuck out so I can use the wifi to look for shit jobs because my data is very low. I’m […]

10/14/2015 7 comments

relapse

by bubbles1128 10/1/2015

written by bubbles1128

I cut myself knowing fully I want attention. Not just for that though. To release that endorphin to feel calm and relaxed and at peace with the world. I cut today to push on them through out the next few days to remember how little I’m loved. If I remember no one loves me then I wont ever get my hopes up to have them crushed

10/1/2015 2 comments

Scrapes? No, bullet holes.

by Black_Heart2001 9/5/2015

written by Black_Heart2001

I can here with such high hopes and big dreams. I came here expecting things to go well, expecting to make it through with only a few scrapes. Little did I know those scrapes would turn into bullet holes. I’m applying for boarding school, and if I don’t get in, if everything isn’t perfect, it will be the end of the world. There’s no place for me to go after that. Death and failure are the same thing to me now. I’m so scared of what will happen if I fail that I can’t focus on anything else. Right now, it’s either I get in […]

9/5/2015 2 comments

Ugh the pain is coming back.,,

by wndozh8er 8/31/2015

written by wndozh8er

last night I had 8 xanex, which mellowed me out, than today I had a 12 pack of natural ice. But I built up such a tolerance to everything that the highs don’t last long. I can’t stop thinking about what happened last night. All these hopes and dreams I had for that fake person just shattered me. How can one break a glass that’s already been broken? I hate this fucking bullshit.

8/31/2015 4 comments

2nd attempt aftermath

by Luxson 8/31/2015

written by Luxson

I’m just so tired at this point that I don’t know what to do with myself. Two days ago during my two best friends wedding to each other I ducked out early, filled my car with all my belongings and was about to drive off and burn it all. I had bought two propane tanks I had intended to rupture, and a jerry can full of premium gasoline (which for some reason seemed funny being that I only buy low-grade) which I had intended to pour on everything including myself. It was going to be a loud painful and grizzly death but that’s how I […]

8/31/2015 4 comments

Suffocating

by Yours, Forever and Always 8/15/2015

written by Yours, Forever and Always

I’m suffocating.

I don’t know any other word for it.

I’m slowly suffocating in this life and I’m dying inside.

My mother asked me today, “Would you mind if I smoke?”

She knows that I HATE when she smokes. I’ve tried to help her stop smoking for the past 13 years and it seems like every time I think she;s getting better, she’s just faking it.

She told me she hopes that I can forgive her.

But how can I forgive a hypocrite? When I started smoking, she almost threw me out of the house. When I […]

8/15/2015 6 comments

good bye

by praj 8/12/2015

written by praj

Thank you guys to support me.. But i couldn’t help myself and i am ending with all hopes with my life..

Just need some courage. I am shivering with sweat on whole body. The cutter in hand falling down. I wish i will get successful on the way of hell or heaven. I wish i would have live more with my love. I really wish. Please god make me die in his arms.

8/12/2015 8 comments

loosing hopes to be alive

by praj 8/12/2015

written by praj

Guys i am going through relationship problems from last some yeas. I am living on hopes but hopes not working. I have tried all possible ways to be alive to keep me away from negative thoughts.

But somehow i have decided to end up with ma all hope with ma life today evening.

Some time before i had posted for suggestions to help me to choose ma way way to die. But m scared. M not getting what to do. Please guys i really need something to keep ma hopes. Please help me out please. M dying inside. And the moster of thoughts of […]

8/12/2015 7 comments

The Countdown Begins….

by Butterflybae 8/9/2015

written by Butterflybae

This is my second post on here….when I say post, I mean not just making a comment on someone else’s account.

I promised a friend on Saturday, that I would take one day (today meaning Sunday) to really consider what I am doing. What I am planning to do, in hopes that I would find something within myself to hang on. He is a spiritual person, however I am not, at least not anymore and haven’t been in many years. However, it didn’t hurt for me to want to hold onto something, it didn’t hurt me to try. So with an open mind and heart, I […]

8/9/2015 13 comments

This is my first post

by alwaystired 8/4/2015

written by alwaystired

I came across this site while googling what would happen when taking too many hydroxyzine or seroquel. It’s funny because after several suicide attempts I still keep trying even though I can’t bring myself to keep trying at anything else. I continue to take too many pills every night in hopes that one of these nights it will kill me but so far I’ve had no such luck. I wish I was this motivated in other aspects of my life.

8/4/2015 5 comments

Into the Darkness.

by luke23 7/29/2015

written by luke23

Into the darkness,I walk alone,
Where all my faith and hopes are gone,
Into the abyss,I jump tonight,
I know nothing ever can be set right,

When I put the noose around my neck,
I can’t take my regrets back,
Why is it so difficult to kick the chair,
Knowing well my freedom is near.

7/29/2015 6 comments

I dont know anymore

by IamTiredOfThis 7/16/2015

written by IamTiredOfThis

I have a lot of things that run through my mind. Things I can not explain. My dreams haunt me. My goals are just false hopes. My life is a mess. I hate my life even though, I know others have it worse. This makes me feel guilty. The guilt I have always lived with. The hate as well. I find no point in life. I want to die. I say I’m not scared but I’m scared shitless. I don’t want to go but I do. I’m scared cause after death there is nothing. Oblivion. […]

7/16/2015 4 comments

hello

by Dorothy Gale 7/14/2015

written by Dorothy Gale

I’m here because I don’t want to die. I want to believe that I have something to offer this world, and that my current suffering will lead to a day where I can turn it around and use it to help others. Thing is, I’ve been depressed my whole life. I feel like from the moment I was born, I was given a cluster of psychiatric diagnoses instead of a personality. I was a problem to be solved, not a person to be loved. I was not human; I was merely human labels. Autism at first, because I’d rock endlessly in place. Then bipolar, because […]

7/14/2015 5 comments

Your gentle wrists, your sacred smile. Each longing breath, I take for you.

by Rotted_Flesh 7/13/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6W_0B1nDvw

Lyrics:

In woeful throes of youthful lust,
I held my breath as you held my hand.
Heart to heart, flesh to flesh,
honesty, emotion long repressed.

Confidence and poise that I could never imitate
as you led me down the stairs to where my hopes had lied in wait.
This is how I choose to remember you,
in the light of some hallway I’d never know again.

“Please stay with me.”

And even though our words were wasted, they had never been more true.
Your gentle wrists, your sacred smile. Each longing breath, I take for you.

7/13/2015 0 comment

Tribute to @worthless_loser-73

by MoonShine 6/17/2015

written by MoonShine

@worthless_loser-73 had mentioned in his comments that he wants to die before his birthday that was in early june and he had scheduled a post for 6 june named “by the time you read this” which I thinks that post was for after-completed suicide and that post had been deleted. He has also not posted/commented for many days also.

There are 3 possibilities that

1)worthless_loser-73 has completed his suicide. And that his near people or cops got to know about suicideproject.org from the suicide note and they contacted suicideproject.org email and as a result the sp admin/moderator deleted that scheduled post or

2)worthless_loser-73 has been only injured from his […]

6/17/2015 9 comments

moonlight

by godbless 6/9/2015

written by godbless

The moon and I have a unique relationship. I’m a cancer and cancers are called “moon babies”. I often stare at the moonlight. It’s fascinating to me. My dream life would be sitting on the moon, in the pouring rain, in quietness with my dog. I daydream about life being that simple.

6/9/2015 2 comments

by MoonShine 6/5/2015

written by MoonShine

I feel so sad , worthless and they look so happy. My worse days has been started from today.What I was fearing has been happened and I am feeling depressed, crying like and hopeless.I needs to die. I am thinking to jump in front of the train and hopes that I will die.

6/5/2015 4 comments

I can identify

by bayareaguy 5/22/2015

written by bayareaguy

Well, I just learned a person I loved for a long time has taken their own life. We were together for a few years in the mid 90’s. I found out about the drug use, the selling of drugs, the lies and cheating. I ended the relationship. Today I got an email. Yet another year of arrests for selling drugs, more time in jail. That’s where it ended…..by hanging.

I never stopped loving and caring what happened. But I could not deal with all of it. I had Mom to care for as she was lost to dementia. I had my own body to care for […]

5/22/2015 3 comments

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