Just decorated my thigh with 275 cuts, still the pain doesn’t go away. What do I have to do then? I hate feeling this way.
Tag:
Horrible Day
I used to joke that even if you lose everything …your money, your friends, your self respect… you always have sleep. That’s not even true. The nightmares, replays of each horrible day, are worse than my days. Sleep, once my only savior, is now just another one of my cruel enemies beating me down at every opportunity.
So each day I grit my teeth and wait for it to be over, and each night I lie awake waiting for the sun to come up. There is no escape from my diseased mind, except to blast it into 1000 pieces. God bless gunpowder.
Don’t ask why I’m posting this, I’m bot persuading you not to do it. I’m showing you the only reason I’m alive.
Ok…here we go…:
You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready To give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and re-written over ad over again…you take out those razor blades,and cut for the last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time.
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Got my iPhone 4s and my licsence.. yet today has been horrible. not horrible really… just a bad mood guess.. depressed, anxious, pissed, irratated… PMSing? sorry to gross anyone out.. but its the truth! UGHHHHHHH. just that kind of fucking fuckedy fuck fuck mood.
So today I was actually feeling pretty good, then my dad came into my room and started calmly talking to me, then out of nowhere he started yelling at me because my clothes are on my couch and not in the closet that is in another room, and I’ve been putting my clothes here so that I wouldn’t have to go into another room every time I want to get dressed for a year now. So then my mom came into the room and my dad started yelling at her because she didn’t make sure that my clothes would be in the closet and she […]
I posted here the other day telling my story I thank everyone for the advice but today when I got to school all I wanted was for me to die I was lonely, alone, sad upset and when I saw my boyfriend at school all I wanted to do was cry I held it together and didn’t. I had such a horrible day I am sitting by myself after school in Starbucks after my friend left (my only friend who has been there for me the most) & my ex boyfriend the one who needed space is sitting there with a bunch of girls […]
Its weird how I check into this thing alot now throughout the day. I’m curious to see if other people are out there who feel even a fraction of what I feel.
Today was a very bad day. Its funny when you close your eyes at night thinking  tomorrow will be better, today was the worst it could get. But that wasn’t the case. To end of the horrible day, another Utopian moment happened. Followed by alot of sweet bbm’s and constant pings when a response wasnt received right away. However those are just more moments. False promises made in a moment never mean anything real. Chances are it was forgotten […]