I don’t know why I’m depressed. If someone asked me why or if I was writing a suicide note and trying to explain it, I wouldn’t know what to say. My parents are constantly at each others throats, have been for as long as I can remember. I’ve seen violence in my family, even been on the receiving end of it a few times. My old school was horrible, my classmates hated me and always made me feel like there was something wrong with me. But those three reasons are all I can think of and they’re not even that bad. My parents love me […]
Hello everybody who may be reading this,
I just cannot stand life anymore, anyplace I live it’s the same… I’m just drowning down, deeper every day and I feel so alone… I cannot even get proper sleep anymore and I’m just able to cry… It’s tiring and depressing.
I’m a very musical person. I listen to alot of music. Its what keeps me going. I also play nine instruments, guitar being my main.
So I listen to alot of music and I have song lyrics that I love. I sometimes write them on my arms. People make funbof me for liking music. I don’t care to be honest. I just love what I love and live how I live. I wish I wasn’t living though
So in short. People make fun of me when I write song lyrics on my arm and it sometimes gets to me. Other times, I let it slide
For some lucky individuals, autism frees them. Unfortunately for me, it traps me. I live in the world of repetition. My past aka my bullying days haunts me everyday. I really tried to let it go. but to no avail. My family refused to believe I have tried.
Whatever bad experiences I had haunts me everyday. That is the symptom of autism. Same thoughts comes to you in a cyclic manner. I struggled to gain acceptance in the past without success. I used to think what is wrong with me? Why doesn’t nobody likes me? Why am I so slow […]
I hate when my mom is drunk or when her stupid boyfriend is drunk. ALL THEY DO IS FIGHT. I’m so sick of it, its been going on for 5 years, the alcohol the drugs the pushing the hitting. I’m done. They add so much more stress to me. I already have issues without them. I’m tired of the fighting. I hate seeing my mom crying, I hate seeing her drunk. I hate it when all her an her boyfriend want to do is drink. I stick around because my baby brother is 3 and someone has to be there to take him to the […]
I used to have faith of some kind (no specific religion; I considered myself to be Agnostic) but after having experienced life and seeing so many horrible things, I no longer believe in a “higher power”. The chaos of life and the fact that there is no control and ultimately no consequences for the vicious acts that humans carry out every day is terrifying. I often find myself cursing at God and then reminding myself that no one can hear me.
With the exception of going to work, I live my life in absolute isolation because I don’t trust anyone (twenty some odd years and I haven’t met one […]
I sometimes go to bed thinking everything will be better the next day and that my life is just a bad dream. And when I wake up reality snaps back in to me and than I remember. I am an embarrassment to the family according to my father and I am useless to society. My goal is to inform others of what I live trough everyday.
Faded and gray
I live to die another day
Helpless I stay
And wish there was another way
I lie here unbeknown to the world
As it continues to turn
The sun shines over head
As I rise from my bed, faded and gray
I live to die another day
I went to a psychiatric testing place last week, and I’ve got to go back again Monday. I’ve noticed that I express far fewer symptoms of depression than I had years ago. For instance, I don’t actively want to commit suicide, but I still wish to stop existing. I sleep whenever I can, because there is nothing to do at all that means anything. I don’t want a job because there is no point, and I’m currently mentally incapable of having one, as I break down about a couple of weeks in, realising how pointless and worthless I am and that my job suggests the […]
After the dawn has come, and the moon no longer crest..the shadows on the walls still don’t seem to rest. Could be a day to forgive angels and saints..but the blood I’ve drawn is purely symbols for the pain.. and though it seems these ghosts should rest..they wait in the corner for me like a silence breaking breath.. take a single breath, followed by a three..double back to gasp for more, while choking down a fourth, and a fifth.. a day I won’t be fighting for..a day that won’t be missed..
Bring the morning sun, as to show I’m not too far.. far away from […]
My darkness rises with the moon.
Every night I live the same war.
To cut or not to cut. (Sorry, I’m a Shakespearean geek)
But I know that it’s never really a question.
I can picture the blood, feel the burn, and I know it’s coming and that I can’t stop it.
It should probably scare me, or at least make me feel a little nauseous.
But as usual, I feel nothing.
I know the blood will set me free.
At least until the moon visits again.
I’m sure now. I bought a ticket to another place, I don’t want my parents to find out. I live in a very shitty country, so they won’t know this way. I’ll go to the mountains and eat some mushrooms, alone. Bye.
Nobody loves me, in fact no one particular gives a shi* about me. My family’s screwed up, always arguing. I live with my nan, my mum has schizophrenia, my Granddad has bipolar and my dad is a drug/alcohol addict. No one at school likes me, I’m too ugly and fat.
I just feel like suicide is the only way out.
Sorry if I blinded you.
Sorry if I blinded you
I’ve always known I like girls. But I always thought I liked guys too. I’ve had boyfriends but….. I have never had that butterflies, stomach in knots feeling around a guy that some girls talk about. I’ll say I love them but it’s more like a friend kinda love. To me at least. My family is a bible thumping kind of family. My Mum would hate me if I told her my suspicions. I’ve always labeled myself as bisexual. My family doesn’t know that though. Most of the time because of this I think I’ll never be loved. The town I live in is small, […]
Enough is enough. I am a human I live in this world. You can go an lo screw yourself. Oh so you will bring me down? Good luck with that cuz I’m a real gangsta haha no I’m not really. But you know what you haven’t been through shit so don’t look at me and act like you’re gonna harm me cuz only God can harm me. I am a part of god. I am a part of the angels light. My soul is a part of this world. This world belongs to me as much as it belongs to you. Go fuck yourself this […]
Im feeling very sad! Extremely lonely, hopelessness is like a black hole Ive fallen into. Some days are ok, some days I just want to sleep all day! Weekends seem to be the hardest to bare because I live alone and have no one to hangout with! My boyfriend has been pulling away from me for the past month, we haven’t spoken in days! He’s angry with me because I didn’t answer my phone for a whole entire day! Really, I called him 15 times in 3 days with no answer and he is furious with me for ignoring him for a day! I had […]
Hi everyone I don’t know what I’m gonna get out of this post but I only hope it’s good.
I really want to leave this earth I have a power cord and the staircase from my room that I have ready to hang myself from I have a letter ready aswell.
Im way too sensitive for this planet and I can’t handle all of the hatred everywhere not only aimed at me but at everyone. It’s a hell on earth I live in!
I wish I could block out all of the negativity I’ve tried and tried to no avail the only thing I feel will make me […]
While I was watching this : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2vg62IuG34
My brain said out of nowhere, “I don’t want to die.” Like, my legit inner voice said that after watching that old man fight “the angel of death”.
Can you believe that? And any other given day, and even today, I don’t care if I live or die. Seriously brain?
I have to leave this area. I live in East Greenbush NY and I have to get out. This is a horrible area to live in. To live here you either got to be rich and snotty or a druggie. The people here have bullied me all my school life going here until I transferred to an alternative school. I’m to the point I don’t talk to anyone from here anymore. I use to have friends who were decent and pretty cool. I knew there were rumors about me going around but recently, not too long ago I found out about some other rumors besides […]
I don’t understand myself. I am truly privileged; I have a family that puts me in their best interests, friends who care about me, I’m not poor, not sick, I live an average middle class life and I have no hope for it.
A future that would satisfy me is not realistic. In order to anticipate the future I would have to be a different person and be extremely lucky. I dread the future and feel haunted by the past. A friend told me to focus on the present but I struggle to find pure happiness in my present life.
I know what should make me happy […]