Tag:

i was

try again

by silversurfer 11/7/2014

written by silversurfer

I have been under constant monetary stress since i was 12. I always felt it was my responsibility to be a breadwinner. Every happy moment, every sad moment was suffocated by this false responsibility. now i feel like ii cant live without it. The second my life returns to some amount of safety, security , and normalcy i spiral into a depression. I hurt myself or get hurt by others until I’m back in some impossible situation.

I should just end it now, its apparent that I will only serve to make those around me miserable. It’s apparent im incapable of a normal life. Ive been […]

11/7/2014 5 comments

I don’t know if I’m suicidal

by howcani 11/6/2014

written by howcani

that’s basically why I’m here.

I’ve never really had many friends, even at school there was three girls in my primary class. We all got along okay i suppose but we didn’t have any long lasting friendships. When I came to secondary I made a few friends here and there mostly following my cousin about and tricked myself into ‘thinking’ i was one of her group’s members. Now i have one friend. This isn’t a post about how since i have one friend that i think i ahould commit suicide.. i’m just saying that one girl is the closest friend i have, we talk everyday yet […]

11/6/2014 5 comments

never thought i’d be here

by imdonewithit 10/30/2014

written by imdonewithit

but this is the last straw,

its my birthday in a couple weeks (27), i should be excited and i have alot of things i still enjoy. i can walk, talk, see, smell and hear. and that alone should be enough. I made a list of all the things i appreciate in life, but i look at my list and i dont feel grateful, maybe its the media or the 1st world society problems that i think are so terrible. but im just done with it. every day i wake up and i raise my hand to my head and “pull the trigger” just hoping that […]

10/30/2014 6 comments

Jammy.

by Jammy. 10/30/2014

written by Jammy.

My name is Jammy, I used to write a lot, i used to read a lot, i used to draw, paint and climb everything i looked, I also used to pull my hair, crash my head against the wall or fight my siblings when i was mad, and all nights i used to cry until i felt asleep, Mom couldn’t look at me when she came tired from work so she used to send me to the backyard at nights, first I was scared (just as every kid would) but then I start it to like, i enjoyed it being there but that wasn’t normal […]

10/30/2014 3 comments

17 dasy left

by ghost walking 10/29/2014

written by ghost walking

i’ve done amazing things in my life, had some incredible experiences. most of my life was as a professional creative… now.. 17 days left. I tried once in ’97 didn’t expect to wake up…

i won’t make that mistake again… i hope.

so much anguish..i gave it a year then another year and another now i have lost every thing.. or about to. betrayed and lied to. a job so miserable i almost pull my hair out to survive a bad call.. i used to earn $72 an hour and that was low for what i did .. and now . its humiliation and abuse i abide […]

10/29/2014 1 comment

my body, my choice

by hangingonbyathread 10/28/2014

written by hangingonbyathread

i wish everyone could see it that way…my body, my choice. if you were trapped in a hellish world wouldnt you want out?? why do i have to suffer so you dont have to? i hate myself, i hate everything about me. i am sick. i have legitimate diagnosis. why must i have to deal with them for the rest of my life?

yes there are ups and downs, but my downs are so bad and last so long the ups arent worth the pain of the downs. its my body, my choice. i should choose if i want to live or die. my life will […]

10/28/2014 7 comments

What do you guys do to try to calm yourself?

by BrokenAngel8 10/25/2014

written by BrokenAngel8

People say there are a lot of methods to calming or getting ones self to relax.

For me one of the biggest ones is music , I just love it I’m a fan of many different genres from oldies to rap to heavy metal to country. It always made me smile after a bad or extremely stressful day. It saved me many times emotionally or days when I just felt like breaking down on the inside. Just pop on my favorite white headphones lay back and just relax.

Another one of my habits which i true hate to admit it cause i’m aware of how much harm […]

10/25/2014 21 comments

What the hell should i do?

by DoneWithThisWorld 10/25/2014

written by DoneWithThisWorld

I just want to begin with that I am an atheist, science is my only faith. So DO NOT GIVE ME ANY RELIGIOUS BULLSH*T. But to get down to it, I can’t deal with this existence anymore. I am weak. I am not capable of being, I am nowhere near strong enough. I hate this world, I hate myself and who I have become. I don’t want to be a part of this bullsh*t anymore. I have had a wonderful upbringing. Every opportunity has been afforded to me. I have no reason to feel this way. I have a bright outlook, academically and professionally. I’ve […]

10/25/2014 14 comments

I guess there IS everything on the net

by putonahappyface 10/25/2014

written by putonahappyface

I’ve thought about it for years. Tried various ways. Failed (obviously) every time. Lied my way out of hospital after hospital. Spent years “reinventing” myself. But can’t escape the overwhelming need to die. Not to die just any way. I need something creative. It cannot look like a suicide. It can NEVER be questioned. My husband doesn’t know and can’t know i am like this. He didn’t know me when i was “depressed,” medicated. In therapy everyday. He knows the now me. That person works 60 hours a week. That person adores her children. That person is positive and upbeat. Fun loving and adventurous. The […]

10/25/2014 1 comment

Blocked

by Namelessqueer 10/22/2014

written by Namelessqueer

So they blocked this website at work. I’m not sure if they saw that i was visiting it an inordinate amount daily or it’s a coincidence. I can’t really look at it as often as I’d like.

I stayed home today. but I called in sick, showered and ate so I think i’m doing pretty good. I’m not letting things fall apart but I don’t know how I’m gonna make it tomorrow.

I feel stupid. I’m a bit ashamed of my sadness but at the same time I want to be out about being sad and sometimes suicidal. I hate the stigma. the fact that I’ve used […]

10/22/2014 3 comments

Life

by Trem 10/21/2014

written by Trem

Today I found out for sure that my girlfriend was cheating on me.

I have battled depression in the past, sadly each time it seems to centre around a female. I am now 23, 24 in a bit more than a week. I guess I will start.. at the start…

I was only 14 or 15 at the time. This beautiful girl at my school had started talking to me, I had a crush on her long before but I was never really the one to say anything. I was Year 10 and she was Year 8. I was pretty young but this girl had taken me […]

10/21/2014 4 comments

Heart change

by gonna die 10/19/2014

written by gonna die

i feel hopeful again……yeah i can see it i see people loves me no matter what……i feel like living again…. Please please watch this it changed me…https://soundcloud.com/itsjustashley/suicide

Good luck i hope you dont commit this act becuase i was going to do it after school tommorow… Good luck

-brian mejia r.

10/19/2014 1 comment

I don’t know anything

by TheCensoredDream 10/19/2014

written by TheCensoredDream

The standard advice for suicidal people is to reach out to someone. And yet it is our relationships with those we care about most that seem to steepen the slope of our depression. Girl problems, boy problems, family problems. It really really pains me how many children are depressed and suicidal. When I was a teenager I could at least tell myself i was young and that there was time and life would get better. But it didn’t. I just have more pain and more guilt and more cynicism. I. just can’t seem to relate to anyone. Some time back i promised myself I […]

10/19/2014 6 comments

already dead inside

by h0r1z0n 10/19/2014

written by h0r1z0n

so ive been in this relationship for a couple months now, and here i thought i was finally getting the hang of it. I thought i could finally make her happy. And i was making her happy up until the last few days. then i fucked the whole think up by saying something stupid as i always do. except this time it was worse. I told her one of her exes (one who broke up with her and she still had feelings for) didn’t care about her. that he was using her for some reason. i had figured this because i thought he might suffer from […]

10/19/2014 3 comments

touching base

by sere 10/16/2014

written by sere

was looking up effective suicide methods and stumbled across your site. it’s hard to not really have people to talk with when i feel this way and most posters her seemed kind and smart so i thought i would register. really ptsd triggered today and that usually causes me to want to escape and that is really hard. i feel pretty abandoned by the universe at times like these. i try a hard as i can with my health challenges and ptsd and still things are a hot mess. have thryoid problems that are resisting treatment and i keep wondering if i just stopped taking […]

10/16/2014 10 comments

fealing down

by Gol 10/12/2014

written by Gol

Hi i feal really bad i think i need to die my mom call s me names when i was younger she punched me a lot now i am 16 and she tells me that i am nothing that i am as my dad . I cry a lot because i think if i die i will not see my causines to grow up or will make my grand parents sad . I balive that there is someting to live for but i can not live because hering so much bad stuff hurts me a lot i think the only thing is to jup under […]

10/12/2014 1 comment

Finally out of my depression,encouraging story

by andartarius 10/10/2014

written by andartarius

I think sometimes in life you take the path that seems the most daring and obvious to you, but sometimes that path isnt the right one. For me it was the art path, since i was 16 i dreamed of being a great artist someday, i worked my ass off for years, putting aside friends,health and everything else, because everyone knows usually if you want to succeed and have a living in art you either need incredible luck or work your ass off everyday. Well i chose not to rely on luck and work my ass off, and even then, it wasnt enough. After almost […]

10/10/2014 1 comment

Tired and annoyed

by Reeferfool 10/6/2014

written by Reeferfool

I know there are a few people who would miss me for a time, but in all honesty I’m not really apart of any ones life enough to warrant prolonged grief, I can imagine what it would be like for a little while people would ask where I am and someone would say “he killed himself” and they’d say “that’s so horrible he seemed so nice” and then they would change topic because they realise that they didn’t really know me, so few seem to.
Not that long ago my friend’s girlfriend was going on about what good friends we were and how she had […]

10/6/2014 6 comments

My Beginning

by Anonymous 10/4/2014

written by Anonymous

Hi, I’m not going to tell you who I am, but I will tell you my beginning of how I started being suicidal.

So, It all started when i was 4 or 5. My mom drove me to my babysitter’s house and when we arrived there, I hugged her so tight and we played and stuff like that for an hour.. then she told me she was going to go outside for a few hours to garden like she does everyday, and so when she left, a few minutes later, A man came in and… he told me to follow […]

10/4/2014 6 comments

They told me to lose weight, so i starved….

by alyssa_cries14 10/4/2014

written by alyssa_cries14

I thought about it so many times but i wanted to stay positive and not starve again…but sadly it just didn’t happen. High school- a place where you will be happy, have a great education, and figure out who you really are. I really wanted this to be the definition in my words, i really wanted to tell everyone how awesome it was to have friends and be beautiful and have harvard grades, i really wanted to be like my brother…it sucked. Because no matter how hard you tried, it would stay the same. I still remember all the people who called me ‘fat’, ‘ugly’, […]

10/4/2014 2 comments

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